Is ADHD just an excuse?

Does anyone else think that it is just used as an excuse? I meen fair enough some ppl that are diagnosed might really have problems but the way i see it is that parents just use it as an excuse for lazy parenting! Even if they do have it, they cant just go around causing trouble and get away with it like they do. They need more parenting not less which is what most parents seem to do. They just think whenever he/she does things wrong "owell he's got ADHD". Its the same in schools aswell.

I have the gull to call them lazy because i am speaking from experience. I know parents whos kids have ADHD and they are lazy and do use it as an excuse. Im not saying that this is always the case but it often is. Well done to your friend for making an effort though.

yes i agree with you. i used to be a very hyporactive kid but they never said me or my mate had ADHD now it seems most kid have ADHD

Nothing a good hiding wouldnt sort out parents are too soft these days

I THINK YES IT IS USED AS AN EXCUSE...BUT USUALLY THE SCHOOL IS WHO SAYS THE CHILD HAS IT!

Yes. These days anything is a disease. Seriously, I think one day being a murderer will be a disease too.

yep

for some people sure, but it is never right to generalize a negative opinion for an entire population of people. For some people ADHD can be crippling. Some people do deal with it, but some kids may learn during school to use it as an excuse to get out of work.
but dont discriminate against everyone! its not right

Are you serious? I'm pretty sure any parent of an ADHD/ADD child would take serious offense to this. Have you walked in their shoes? How insulting. My friend's son had ADD and she was CONSTANTLY working with him to help him have a better life.These parents work their butts off to ensure their children can have half the life of "normal" kids, and you have the gull to call them lazy?

I can see your point, but im not agreeing with you. My cousin has ADHD, he is adopted and his birth mother was a heroin addict they think the ADHD is an affect of that. I have seen him when he is naughty and uncontrolable and its like nothing you have ever seen. My Uncle and Aunty are brilliant parents and there adopted daughter is a lovely young lady. My cousin with the ADHD is also lovely but unpredictable. I do think some people use such illnesses to there benefit, but for others it is a serious illness that controls the whole family.

Maybe your friend isnt a lazy parent just worn out and doesnt know what else to do? Your not a good friend are you really to be discussing this behind her back instead of being supportive.

My brother was diagnosed with ADD when he was like 10. Turns out hes just a lazy ***. He used it for an excuse to fail every year. ***** never got in trouble and I got grounded for B's lol

As a person who was diagnosed as ADHD by a pediatric neurologist 20+ years ago, I can say that it is a legitimate problem. I do also agree though that kids with ADHD do require more attention from parents and teachers. They tried to give me Ritalin when I was a kid but then they realized that I didn't need it. I just needed to learn some "coping" strategies. I got straight A's in school and I behaved myself like every other kid. OK, so maybe I talked a bit more and I was always tapping my foot or my pencil on the desk or some other fidgeting, but otherwise, just like everybody else.

Is this another 1 of those OXYMORONS bud, believe ya referring to 'deficit disorder' of some description hey?.....Can't actually recall when this type of (supposedly) 'mental affliction' came about can ya?.....

no i don't think that it s an excuse. have you ever had to deal with a child with adhd?? by the way that you are talking i don't think you have. i think that parents that have children with adhd have went though everything and may be finding it hard to cope with this. i know that there are some people that do jut use it as an excuse but the majority don't just use it an an excuse. children that have adhd are hard work and need more help with this.

i must admit even some doctors dont think it exists but it not just down to lazy parents as parents and teachers we are not allowed to punish with that i mean smack our children or cane them at school so if your child is defiant and all you can do is tell them off its gonna take no notice i think we should bring back caning in school and be allowed to smack and chastise our own children

Social services will tell you not officially of course that its a case of bad parenting.

I completely understand here. My son was diagnosed with having AD/HD. His teachers come to me with the problem, they filled out some paper work, and I went to the doctor with that paper work. Sure enough, doc told me that he had adhd. He was on medicine for about 6-8 months at age 7. He lost so much weight, got headaches, motion sickness, and didn't eat hardly at all. I was a single parent with 2 jobs with no help from the father. I do blame myself that I didn't handle the situation as I should had because I wanted to be there for him in every thing. Although I believe that some kids do need help because of a chemical imbalance as people do also. But, a lot of kids are misdiagnosed. My son is 16 now and hasn't been on meds since then and he is a smart kid. School for most kids is boring and school/teachers don't want to put in that extra effort to help them in subjects that these kids find hard. Just because a child does bad in 1 or more subjects doesn't mean that he needs medicine to help him cope. They need one on one medicine. The real medicine, and I wasn't there to give that to my son as much as I wanted to be. This isn't the case in some situations where medicine is needed, but I can say that my son's doctor misdiagnosed it.

some kids REALLY do have a mental illness. But I also am alarmed from the rate of kids getting diagnosed with stuff and being put on medication. I find it sad. I think that it can be an excuse. BUT, it can also be a relief for a parent to realize that it is not their fault... sometimes, these kids REALLY have these issues. But often, it is mild and they can still behave and function normally. Even if you have a special needs child, they can still be parented well.

yes

Yea I agree with you. Its almost as if every kid who misbehaves all of a sudden has 'ADHD' or a mild form of it. Where are all these new diagnoses' coming from? They didn't exist a few years back. I agree it is to do with poor parenting and the degeneration of society.

NO!!! and i am offended by this. i am a parent of an ADHD child. he is 12 years old and struggles eachd every day with this. we are by no means lazy parents. we work very closely with our sons school, teachers, etc to make sure that he stys on the right track. he has a strong desire to succeed in school and in life. our son has big plans for his life. he has stressed to us that would like to join the army when he finishes school and he has plans to get married and have a family one day. idk, maybe some kids are misdiagnosed and really are being lazy, but that is steriotypical. thats like saying all blacks are selling drugs or almiddle eastern peple are terrorist. i mean, its just not true. i know tons of black people that earn an honest living and i know middle eastern people that live in my town that are not terrorist and are hear to have a better life than what their own country can offer.


also, the key to a child being successful in school are good teachers. we have had a few that just did not care. it was like they were just waiting forthe day that my son could move to the next grade and out of their classroom. but we have had a handful of teachers including this year that really care about the child and really want to see the child do well.


btw, if it is bad parenting, then why are our other 3 children fine?!?! no problems whatsoever. our son has had his fair share of spankings, grounding, had things taken away as punishment. its not because he is not disciplined. and you can tell a huge difference when he is on his meds and when he is not. he is a very smart child. very imaginative and loves to read and draw. theres not a thing wrong with him except for the fact that he has a hard time focusing.


edit:
this is for "paul g"....
when did they start giving out medical degrees to any one at social services? my son sees a pediatrician and a psychiatrist for his ADHD.



there sure are alot of judgmental people in the world for them to be someone who has never had to deal with these kinds of problems on a daily basis. walk a mile in my sons or in my or my husbands shoes, then come back and tell me we are all just lazy!

I have the same problem as you.....I really thought for a long time that it was an excuse, but seriously, they really can't help it. It is really hard to understand, you might want to read up on it.

Yes, it is overly *diagnosed*. It is crippling for the Child/Parent who really is afflicted with it but it is overwhelming just how many Children in America are labeled ADD/ADHD.
The Child who is NOT true ADD/ADHD is more than likely the Child needing a combination of love and boundries and a perhaps even a blanaced diet. The Pharma industrie is earning enourmous amounts of money on Ritalin but take it outside of America and you will see how blatently different the diagnoses is.

no its not a excuse are you a doctor NO so dont slag off people

sometimes people do use it as an excuse
but they shouldnt
certain meds work with certain kids
but you still need to have rules and with adhd you work twice as hard to inforce them

i am a parent of a a.d.h.d. child I also have it. you need a wake up call. these kids don't chose to have this. My child is very smart and well behaved when she is on her meds. Iam not a lazy parent. It is not a excuse. this kids struggle to do ever day stuff normal people don't think twice about. I think you people need to keep your mouths shut when you have no idea what living with a.d.h.d is like if you do a little research find this is a adult condition as well and has nothing to do with parenting skills.

I think there are some children that really have ADHD, but for the most part I think it's a lack of structure and discipline at home AND at school that has caused so many of our kids to be medicated and excused for bad behavior.

Personally, I believe a lot of this started when parents didn't want the schools to discipline or punish (spank) their children. Then the parent's themselves didn't discipline the kids and it's become a vicious cycle with the kids being the ones to suffer the most.

I can't honestly see any good reason to medicate a child when diet, structure, and discipline would do the job. It's laziness all the way around and somewhere down the line the children will wind up paying the price.............

Dont call my mom a lazy parent. ADD/ADHD exsit and it's not an excuse! My mom didn' drug me up though, she was a really good parent and taught me how to cope with it! You don't have it i do so do your reserch and you will find out it's not lazy parenting!

i don't think it has anything to do w/ lazy parents or anything to do w/ school

my bf has ADHD...he got straight A's threw school and he has a great job now as long as he takes his meds if he doesn't his mind wonders some times we fight ect...


if you want to blame anyone for kids being put on ADHD or ADD meds w/ out really having it blame the Drs they are the ones that hand out Rx's like its candy just to get the kick backs

I agree with you, for the most part. I think that some people truly do have and are diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder). I also think that there are a lot of people that do not have ADHD, and their parents, and perhaps they themselves, use it as a false excuse for failure, and simply not attempting to accomplish certain things. That's my take on it.
Eden

An excuse? No

Over diagnosed? Yes

I think there are some genuine cases. But some parents are dying for their children to be diagnosed with ADHD as they get quite a generous sum in benefits

I do think it is over diagnosed, but I disagree about it having all to do with parents being lazy, I've got a daughter with ADHD, as well as having had a closed head injury at 3 years of age, many challenges as we have grown older, but I am always on top of it to the point that I now am homeschooling her and her younger sister. She is on medication, however this was something that we had to work with and closely watch with the doctors, the first medication, made her loose a ton of weight and really didn't do much for her, she is now on a good medication and doing very well. I pray that parents don't give up on there kid's you are all they've got.