My sons dad hurt him by stopping contact my son has adhd and is very confused?

my son got his first contact with his dad 12 mths ago at the age of 10 i had to move away when my son was born due to his dads lifestyle ie;drugs burglary and prison i agreed on contact as he had got clean and got married and had own buisness etc when he found out he had to pay child support he stopped all contact with my son and changed his number with no explanation this hurt and upset my son and left him confused his dad now wants to have contact with my son again after 3 mths but wont agree a suitable arrangement with me after i explained my sons state of mind after he dumped him (my sons words not mine)he says he will take me to court but i never stopped him having contact so it would be a waste of time i think its best left as it is now with my son having no contact at all untill he is old enough to decide himself anyone can give advice would be great

i cancelled the csa as they only contacted him coz i was on benefits for 3 weeks due to moving 60 miles so my son was closer to his dad i never wanted the money from csa as i done without it for 10 years so dont need it now so i cant see his problem

worried mummy -

You are in a really difficult position as Mom in this situation. BUT, I really applaud you for how you have handled this situation so far.

This is NOT an easy question to answer, and there might not really be a "right" way to deal with this.

Having worked with families in this situation before, it is always tempting to let a child see his father. After all, the father has rights to be there for his son. However, at the same time, your son does not need to be let down all the time by his father.

Judging by the words of your son, I might be very strict about any meeting until your son's father can show you he has changed (and will not disappoint you or your son again - in terms of not showing up).

Your son needs a father, but he needs a father who will not constantly disappoint him and let him down (and hurt him). I personally think you are making the right decision.

As for your son's ADHD, this might make things more difficult for him to understand what is going on - but it is really a separate (but important) issue from what his father is doing to him.

Good luck,

Rory
http://www.thetruthbehindadhd.com

Do you need to pursue the child support? I know it would be ideal, but sometimes a relationship with a father is worth more (even a bad one - then your son can make his own decisions). Tough one.