ADHD or Bipolar II...both or neither?

For about five years, I have been unsure of which (if any) I fall under. So...here's my past:

I am a recovered alcoholic at the age of 23, misplace everything, lose everything, forgetful, clumsy, creative. During my days of drinking I was extremely sexually promiscuous. This ended, along with the spontaniety and wrecklessness, when I met my BF. During a short breakup, I returned to the promiscuity and minor drinking. I know if I weren't with him I would suffer like before. I have self mutilated in the past, first at age 12, then during my alcoholism, and have had thoughts of it during what I call "episodes". Usually episodes are triggered. I am irritable, can go into rages, shake/increased heart rate/frantic, then into a "trance-like" state, no movement, blank, numb. These rarely occur. I would say 4-6 a year. I have been severely depressed in the past, but am RARELY depressed now, 2-4 times a year. I DO NOT fall under the category of not needing sleep. I NEED AND LOVE sleep.

I am unsure if I am bipolar b/c I do not feel it is that extreme. I am unorganized and overwhelmed by my inability to keep up with things, stay organized, remember. However, I feel that the cutting and rages are not part of ADHD. I have formally taken adderall, which helped. I do not know what has triggered my problems other than genetics and family situations. My father was verbally/physically/emotionally abusive to my grandmother. He would fly off the handle, and I suffered from this. This is when I became depressed, and began cutting (age 12). My irrationality and spontaniety began when I was older and experimental (drugs, sex, alcohol...age 16-20). Now I am 23 and the problems arise with my relationship. I am moody, angry and violent at times. I also have bad spending habits that have put me in debt. I spend and spend not thinking. I guess I've written tons. But I feel I have so many different feelings that the more I discuss will help others in their input. THANKS!

you sound SOOOOO much like me. And I am diagnosed w/ major depression, ocd, add, and severe anxiety w/ panic attacks. The only reson i have not been diagnosed w/ bipolar is b/c i sleep 10-15 hrs. a day and always have. That is my only and favorite escape, not to mention I am an alcoholic. I drink whiskey and water almost everynight of my life so that i won't care. w/o alcohol and all my meds i just can't deal w/ life. I talk too much, worry constantly about stupid ****, like my house being dirty, or the dogs still scratching despite me giving them flea treatment and allergy meds. its like my mind just never stops and i can't even follow simple directions from someone because my mind won't shutup long enough for me to listen, to ANYTHING. I can watch t.v. for hours and not have a clue what was on, because my mind is ALWAYS ahead of me and can't slow down to listen. This is why i respect alcohol and cherish sleep, anything that let's me relax, if only 4 the night. I can't write anymore, Icould go on 4 ever. Stimulants put me to sleep. I am on one, uncommon one, Provigil, it doesn't help the add though. I am also on anti-depressants , anti-anxiety and sleeping pills and high blood pressure meds. now, also, full-blown alcoholic {know that works against meds.} but I am still a mess. 35 yrs. old, started meds at 12. Used to be so promiscuous, still spend tons of money etc.

you are not happy with your self or no one else for the moment just worry about you.I do not know when you have had alcohol if you can take an anti depressant/call a hotline and ask a nurse.17404465000ask for hot line number I think iy is 17404468000

If you have ADHD or bipolar, it would be only 1 of many things. I don't know anyone that has ADHD or bipolar that are doing some of the things you described.

This is going to sound crazy but some of your experiences sound like some kind of demonic activity.

Maybe you have some kind of mineral - vitamin deficiency? Thats a possibility. Maybe that combined with some psychological issues from your home enviroment.

This is definitely not ADHD, and it doesn't look like bipolar either. It looks most like depression - sometimes a low-grade depression causes nothing more than a persistent state of irritability and an angry mood. This is sometimes coupled with sleep problems. This condition is sometimes called dysthymia.

The shaking/rage is just the effects of adrenalin. The body normally releases adrenaline when a person is fearful of something or enraged. Shaking, increased pulse and respiration rate, nausea are all normal reactions to adrenalin. What's not normal is being enraged in the first place.