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| *Women health>>>AIDS |
To gay men who came out and were sexually active before AIDS.? |
Do you ever feel a type of 'survivor's guilt'..because you weren't infected and so many of your friends died? I just feel incredibly lucky because our community was so devasted by the disease and somehow some of us just lucked out and dodged a speeding bullet. I think you have to have been through all of this to really have an idea of what I mean by survivors guilt. Personally, no. But I understand where you're coming from with the question. "Survivor's guilt," for lack of a better phrase, is actually an issue which pops up to this day. There are plenty of men who are actually surprised that they DIDN'T contract HIV, while many around them DID. Although it is still an issue among the gay community, the bigger danger is the lax attitude that gay youth have today about HIV and AIDS. Infection is on the rise among the younger generation. On one side are the young men with "Superman Syndrome," who think it can't happen to them. These are the ones who still screw around bareback, with the thought in their head that they can tell who has HIV just by looking at them. The other side of the coin is the ones who intentionally seroconvert to HIV. Do you mean you didn't stop having gay sex? Many gays did just that so they wouldn't get aids. umm being gay doesnt mean u get aids dumb ***, it means ur a **** faced ho bag who didnt use protection. no one I know has Aids or HiV(doubt u know the difference) get schooled beyatch before u ask something stupid like that I do not feel survivors guilt. I believe that God had a purpose and it was not fate or luck or whatever but Gods will. I was Lucky maybe. I came along just as the whole AIDS thing was coming to light in my little rural area of the South in the late 80's. I wasn't sexually active in the gay community until much later in life, (after much internal conflict). It is odd, sometimes I hate that I missed out on things when I was younger, but by doing so, it may have saved my life. I do know what survivors guilt is, but my experience doesn't relate to AIDS. I did, however, know someone way back when, from my little community, who utlimately died of complications from AIDS. Not sure if that qualifies me to answer here though. I have been sexually active since 1980. I have always practiced safe sex. I never stopped having sex. I am not HIV (+) and I do not feel guilty. Now that you mention, even if I was HIV (+) I would not feel guilty to be alive. I have lived through the HIV pandemonium and I do not understand what you mean by "survivors guilt", I am sorry... No, I've never really felt "survivor's guilt". The first man I ever loved slept around like crazy. I was 19, and impressionable. I was hurt that he'd go around on me, and he told me,"But honey, I keep coming back to you." "What is he, a cocker spaniel?" I thought. He died from AIDS in 1988. I felt very lucky, like I dodged a bullet myself. But no I never felt guilty for having survived the onset of AIDS, just blessed. |
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