I am depressed, and i have anxiety disorder..and im 15?

what do i do i am freaked out about dying but i know it will be much better than my life on earth... i hope i believe in God and i pray but i just am obsessed.. my mother is bipolar, depressed,anxiety disorder, social phobia, and split personality disorder.. she tries commiting suicide every month.. idk what to do i have gotten 3 olsers in the past year.. i can't sleep i am so worried about dying.. because my mother came SSSOOO close to dying the other night.. she took 30 200mg depressents.. but since she was an LPN she knew when to stop.. i hate my life.. but God put me on this planet for a reason.. i live with my uncle now because my mom cannot take care of me... i cry everyday and can't stop thinking about dying and whether i go to heaven or not.. i need help but i think i am going to be worse than my mom...but my mom called the police on me and i guess i am possibly going to a foster home.. i am SO scared.. my life is a nightmare i want help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Things will get better. You are only fifteen you have your whole life ahead of you. Life can suck sometimes. You have so much good to experience. I know you are scared. Talking to a counselor and getting on the right medication will help you. I am twenty seven and have anxiety disorder and am starting to feel depressed myself. Please don't kill yourself. I don't know if you believe in god. If you do I think you should pray. I am not religious but do believe in god. I haven't went to church in years. I think prayer will help you. You said it yourself god put you on this earth for a reason. I believe that you can beat this and help others. Please get help. Just ask for it call the suicide hotline or your uncle someone will listen to you.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. A foster family may be able to get you some help through the state so that you can deal with all of these emotions, it seems so much for a 15 year old to carry on your shoulders.

Is there anyone you can talk to? Maybe there is a church nearby that you can get in touch with the youth pastor? I really don't know what else to say, I will keep you in my prayers, and I wish the best for you.

Foster Care may be a step in the right direction. Nothing to fear there. It would be a great thing if you talk to Jesus and ask him to come into your heart and be your Lord and Savior. Ask him to set you free.
It's going to be ok talk to God and let him guide you. Doc

See anxiety treatments, at ezy build (below) in section 6. Set yourself a specific time period for worrying about anything, (say; around three quarters of an hour, possibly when you get home, or after your evening meal, but not too close to bedtime) after which, resolve firmly to refuse to even entertain the thought of worrying again on that day: realise and accept that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. You will have had your "worry time" for the day, and can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?". It is important to deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, or images, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. When you notice something negative, such as: "I'm never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser?" or even: "I can't do this/will never get over this!", or a disturbing image, recognise that this is part of the mindset which will hold you back from progressing in your recovery. Having identified and labelled it, I first visualise a large "STOP!" sign, then I say to myself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Alternatively, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself." Neurofeedback treatment for anxiety is increasingly becoming available. Herbal remedies, such as valerian, (which is not for use if depression is also present) passionflower, St.John's wort, are often effective, but the idea is (as with anxiolytic medication) to use them like water wings, or training wheels on a bicycle, providing initial support, and giving time for other treatments, such as therapy, and relaxation techniques, to take effect.

(The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is easy to be dismissive of such a seemingly unusual technique, but give it a good tryout, for at least a few weeks, to see if it is effective in your case.). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: "a thousand and one": this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally, if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel.

Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention. I have found that the 2 - 3 minutes spent using the EMDR markedly reduces distractions to the relaxation process, and is repaid many times over. ~~~ Depression: I suggest: (1.) Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or grapefruit, or their FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it. (2.) Work up slowly to at least 20 minutes minutes of exercise, daily, or 30 - 60 mns, 5 times weekly. Too much exercise can cause stress, which isn't wanted when dealing with depression. (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain). (4.) Use daily, one of the relaxation methods in sections 2, 2.c, 2.i, or 11, and/or yoga, Tai Chi, and/or the EFT, in sections 2.q, 2.o, and section 53, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris whichever works best for you. (5.) Initially, at least, some form of counselling, preferably either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy. (6.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, or supplements, such as SAMe, taken with a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin, or Inositol (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets, or mail order: view section 55).



Start a mood chart/thought record, and record all negative thoughts. Whenever you notice a negative thought, record the mood (disappointment, sadness, frustration, hopelessness, anger, etc.) and rate it, from 1; the lowest, to 100; the strongest you have ever felt. Have 3 columns, and in one, write down the thought. For example: Mood: Lonely: 90/100. Thought: "I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life". Then, although this can be painful, it is very important; record every piece of evidence in support of this: "I am alone right now. I have been for some time. There is nothing to prove this won't continue". In the last column, write down all the evidence refuting this: "I used to be fairly sociable, and enjoyed being with friends. Change is inevitable in life, and nobody can state the way things will be in the future, for sure". "Most people recover from depression, in time, and I rarely felt lonely, until becoming depressed". Then read again what you have written. Give it a moment, to let it sink in, and rate that mood again, possibly putting it in brackets, and/or in a different color, but try to stick to a standard practice, for greater ease of review, later. Example: Mood: Lonely: [70/100]. Replace "shoulds", and "ought to" statements with: "I feel ..." ones.

If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking around 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol / L). It should be above 32 ng/ml.

Don't use medications and supplements together, without medical advice, except for Omega 3, which is safe, anytime. Take enough supplements to attain, or exceed the levels (no possibility of overdose) of those every day, with an orange, or the juice of a freshly squeezed orange, grapefruit, or other antioxidant.
(make sure the epa is higher then the dha) important for adults... kids need the opposite levels: more dha than epa, but all are beneficial, if you can't achieve the recommended proportions.

Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, (60% of depressed people have low vitamin D levels!) using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult to achieve.

If the above is insufficient for you, after several months, (unlikely) try one of the alternatives, such as the neurofeedback, magnetic, or low current electrical stimulation, or EMDR therapy, (see section 33, at ezy build) keeping ECT back, as a last resort. There is a quiz about depression, through sections 1, and 2, at ezy build, below: print the result, and take along to your primary mental health care provider. With depression, there is a choice of possible treatment types which needs to be made, and you can decide to use either allopathy, (modern Western medicine) with its reliance on antidepressants and therapy, or alternative treatments,