How do you cope with Social Phobia/social anxiety disorder when trying to establish a career?

How can I manage this illness? It's difficult for me. I have let good jobs slip by that required doing presentations and a lot of communicating. I have let good potential friends slip by, by being too reserved. I am scared to speak all the time, even by phone. The internet is easier for me. My husband is the opposite. He is friendly, well liked, well loved, and enjoy himself with people. People think that I am weird or they think that I think that I'm better than them, people have mistaken me wrong because of this illness. I hope my children do not ever suffer with this. The only people I am comfortable around are people that I knew for a long time and see everyday. I do not have any personality at all. I hate myself for this. I do not even know what to say when I am around people therefore I just say hello and that's it. I hate myself for this. How can I manage this?

A lot of people dislike me because of this illness, they feel that I am too into myself and self-absorb but they just don't know that I cry about this and just can't help this problem. I would like to be more out-going, more fun, more fun, but I can't

It may not be healthy, but what worked for me is developing a seperate personality. I'm not sure if you can have self-inflicted multiple personality disorder, but I am different people in different situations. Somehow, for 9-10 hours a day, I am confident, outgoing and friendly. But when not at work, I avoid ALL people, any public situations, even the grocery store!
The only way I can behave normally in a social situation is to drink. A LOT. Sometimes even that doesn't help.