went to my doc yesterday because i am just still not back to myself after my surgery that was 2 months ago. i am feeling blue and having scary thoughts from time to time. i am seeing a counselor for these issues recomened by my doc but she recomended that i go back to my doc to be put on a mild antidepressent due to what she thinks is ptsd and then another trama recently a death in family. i went to my gp and he gave me zoloft and wants me to see a phycologist to rule out bipolar. i don't have any of the symptoms i have read. just since my surgery i have been just down and paranoid and anxiety issues really bad. i did remind him that two weeks after my surgery i put myself back on lexapro for 6 days and then got off and also stopped my bc pill and that is when i started feeling bad. he said it is most likley a chemical imbalance but wants to still rule out bipolar. i am scared I have rapid cycling bipolar disorder. When it all started......I had been going to nursing school and was very depressed because i had failed my last class before graduation. (my middle child had surgery and although I had an A in the class, my teacher failed me because I refused to leave him at the hospital by himself and come to class....she said nurses were expected to be at work every day reguardless of what was going on.) So, my life continued to spiral out of my control. I became more and more depressed and more and more anxious. I was going to the hospital for anxiety attacks. I was having problems with my family. Next thing I knew I was in ICU because of a suicide attempt. I was then moved to a behavioral health unit at a hospital where they decided that I had major depressive disorder. I began taking two different medications for depression......zoloft and trazadone. The trazadone was to help me sleep because I never did.
A few weeks after leaving the hospital I began feeling much much worse. So, I went to my doctor who sent me to a psychiatrist. When I told them all of my symptoms such as mood swings, racing thoughts, anxiety, etc........and it wasnt even like my mood swings would take anything to set them off. They would be very rapid. I would be happy one minute and then very very angry or crying my eyes out the next. I would also go up to a week at a time with no sleep. He discussed these in great detail with me and decided that I not only had bipolar disorder, but rapid cycling bipolar disorder. They put me on lithium, zoloft, trazadone, and seroquel and I am doing some better now.
I wish you luck, and it isnt as bad as it seems right now. You will learn to work through all of this. However, it is very unhealthy to stop taking your meds and then begin them again and stop taking them again. When you take SSRI's which is what Zoloft and Lexapro both are it depletes your body's natural serotonin level. So, when you stop taking them your body has to restart the ability to learn to create seratonin on its own. That is why they tell you not to stop taking the medications without prior approval from your doctor and that reapid stopping of the medications may cause suicidal thoughts or attempts.
Once again, good luck. I hope everything works out to be what is best for you! don't be scared... I don't think you have bi-polar disorder.. I think its because of your medication... and the anxiety you are under... try to calm down,,, listen to some music that makes you feel good ,, something like Dancing in the Streets... try to put your mind off of the recent tragedies that you have experienced... see if there is any change in the way you are feeling.. it won't be instant . but I th ink you will start feeling better.. If my doctor told me he thought I had bi polar I'd be scared too.
What would make you doctor even consider that? It is not something they usually jump straight to, but I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry.
Given that you have just had surgery, a death in the family, have gone off your birth control, began and stopped anti depressant meds, I'd say it's more likely to be depression and/or PTSD than bi polar.
The fact that you took an anti depressant for 6 days (which is long enough for it to have had an effect on you), and then stopped, would also account for the paranoia and anxiety. You should never ever do that. Even when they make you feel normal, you should never just STOP taking them.
A psychologist cannot diagnose bi polar, only a psychiatrist can do that. Even then it is not any easy thing to do, and takes some time. A diagnosis of bi polar disorder is more of a guess than a definite diagnosis as there are quite a number of what's called co-morbid conditions, that have similar symptoms to bi polar.
Go back on your birth control, get some grief counselling, and take it easy. It can take some time to get over the surgery. Keep taking the Zoloft, even when you start to feel better - keep taking it. It will help you deal with all the crap that will come up in the counselling. The more you worry an fret over this problem the worse it is going to make you feel. I would simply wait and see what my doctor says. Take the medication the doctor prescribes and don't take any medication that is not prescribed by your doctor. Some medications can actually make a person's symptoms worse.
After having surgery and a death in the family could be the cause of your anxiety.
If you have read up on bipolar symptoms and you have none of the symptoms, I would say that you are not bipolar. Maybe a little depressed and grieving over the loss of your family member. I am very sorry for your loss. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri... and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 and http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:
Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
K眉bler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. K眉bler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.
Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning
James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins. Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.
Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.
Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent.
Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/ ~~~ ANXIETY: There is a saying in the mental health field; "if the only tool you have in your kit is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as a nail". So it goes with doctors, and their prescription pads: handy, quick, and convenient, when trying to manage a large list of patients, with very limited time for each.
With anxiolytics (anti-anxiety medication, such as Lexapro, or Paxil, which treat both anxiety and depression) you are only addressing the symptoms, and even then, often only temporarily, as your system becomes used to it, and you have to accept the risks of an increased suicide/homicide rate, aberrant behaviour, and side effects, such as possible sexual dysfunction (common). For those reasons, I recommend first trying the alternatives, which not only treat the symptoms, using herbal remedies, or supplements like inositol, but the cause, as well, using EFT, and relaxation techniques. The anxiolytics/antidepressants will still be there, should the alternatives prove insufficient for you.
See anxiety treatments, at ezy build (below) in section 6. Set yourself a specific time period for worrying about anything, (say; a half an hour, or an hour, possibly when you get home in the evening, but not too close to bedtime) after which, resolve firmly to refuse to even entertain the thought of worrying again on that day: realise and accept that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. You will have had your "worry time" for the day, and can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?". It is important to deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, or images, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. When you notice something negative, such as: "I'm never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser?" or even: "I can't do this/will never get the hang of this!", or a disturbing image, recognise that this is part of the mindset which will hold you back from progressing in your recovery. Having identified and labelled it, I first visualise a large, flashing red "STOP!" SIGN, then I say to myself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic". In the case of an image, visualise a large, flashing red "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.
Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Alternatively, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself." Neurofeedback treatment for anxiety is increasingly becoming available. Herbal remedies, such as St.John's wort, arctic root, or Valerian are often effective, but the idea is to use them like water wings, or training wheels on a bicycle, providing initial support, and giving time for other treatments, such as therapy, and relaxation techniques, to take effect.
(The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: a thousand and one: this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel. Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. ~~~ See www.theroadback.org on Lexapro withdrawals: nasty! It is inadvisable to stop, cold turkey with such medications; they need gradual tapering off: luckily, you hadn't been on them for long, or you could have had a seizure. Bipolar disorder, and PTSD are addressed in sections 10, and 33 - 34, at ezy build. addressed in section 10, and antidepressants, in sections 1, and 2. If you are bipolar, antidepressants can trigger mania/hypomania. |
