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| *Women health>>>Bipolar Disorder |
Can anyone recover the lost self confidence and self respect after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder? |
I was diagnosed 7 years ago with bipolar disorder. I tried to work for a while. I was an LPN but I couldn't sleep and would go days and nights without sleeping, eventually ending up in a bad manic episode. I finally got on disability but now I feel so useless. This week I tried to go back to college and after 2 days suffered such horrific anxiety attatcks, I had to withdraw. My doctor gave me meds. but they make me feel so loopy and I can't drive when I'm taking them. I feel like my life is over. My 2 children are grown, I have 4 grandchildren, but can't spend a lot of time with them because of becoming too nervous. Is there any purpose or reason left for me in this life. It gets harder and harder to find a reason to live. I went job hunting a few weeks ago. But since I haven't worked in 8 years and I don't have that many skills anymore,I didn't get any calls.In LPN school I was best in my class. Won every award the school gave away. But look at me now. Just a shell of my former self Yes, and yes. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II fourteen years ago and have been extremely fortunate to get world-class care. I am an ultra-rapid cycler and got my Social Security Disability (SSDI) just over three years ago. I see my psychiatrist 3 to 4 times a year and take 4 different psychotropics. I see a clinical psychologist every 3 weeks when I am stable, once a week if I'm not (usually in the fall and winter). I attend a weekly support group. Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been very effective for me, as has working with my psychiatrist on how to tweak my meds when I start to cycle in order to prevent a full-blown episode. I got my self-esteem back over a long period of time and lots of therapy. I had to give up my career as a speech pathologist, which was really tough-- it took me 3 years to let it go, as I was really good at it and had 20 years experience and tons of training. I felt like damaged goods, for sure. You need to see that you have the disorder; it doesn't have you! I, too, tried going back to school, but it didn't work for me, either. Instead, I started a pet-sitting company and keep it small by doing MAXIMUM 7 visits a day. Not only is this best for maintaining my mental health, but I am still below the earning limit set by the SSA, so I keep my benefits. Your medication situation needs to be addressed. Go back to your doctor and tell him/her about your side-effects: you don't need to suffer with that. The only ones I have are fatigue and reduced short-term memory. I can live with being stupid; it's better than mania or a mixed state! I hope you are on a mood stablizer (Lamictal, Depakote, Lithium, Topamax), maybe an antidepressant (Lexapro, wellbutrin, Effexor), and an antipsychotic (Seroquel, Geodon, Zyprexa). Ativan or klonopin may be helpful for anxiety. I felt like my life was over, too. Don't give up, and get some help which will teach you to manage your condition. Remember, it's like managing any other chronic disease (like HTN or diabetes). You will get your life back, although it will be different than before. Try to be flexible, and good luck! I don't have an answer for you but I feel for you. My grandmother is in your same situation and I love her through the good and the bad. Maybe your family needs to be your focus. i am only 19 but i was diagnosed 2 years ago bi-polar, i was on meds up untill like 6 or 7 months ago, and i got weened off, and i am a wreck from time to time but you sound like you have done AWESOME for yourself, if you ever need to talk (altho i am younger and dumb) Createdbydefault@yahoo.com Try another Doctor. When I move to a new area I call the local Pharmacies, tell the I'm new to the area and ask who prescribes meds(in your case for bipolar) and to give you 3 names of doctors who seem to know what they are doing. Where are you. You shouldn't have his happening. Email me privately and I may be able to find someone for you. Worked in a shrink office. I suggest you try meditation. It has no bad side effects and can calm your mind. You might also want to look at some calming biofeedback devices. One I use and like is Resperate (www.resperate.com). It really calms you, and it takes some concentration to follow, so it gets your mind off of crazy thoughts. Try to be physically active too. Exercise is good. No baby no no no. 8 years is not that bad. Please don't give up on life and get depressed. You are so not useless. My mom was diagnosed with bipolar as well and yes you can regain yourself. Please just don't give up on life, I know you feel so down but you can get through it and it'll get better. I will take your name down and pray for you too. Explain to your kids how you feel and what your going through. I know your probably ashamed or something because people that don't understand this or know about this will be mean and probably critical but guess what. F them. Me and my mom will pray you through this and its not over for you. Embrace the madness. God bless you honey and more people suffer from bipolar than we all know and even they know themselves. God bless!!! |
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