Question about bipolar disorder..?

Ok, so I used to go to a psychologist until I was about 13 (I went for 10 years). I stopped because my parents think therapy is stupid, and they only took me because my school forced them to. My school and my psychologist always said I had depression, a learning disability, or I was abused at home. They gave me tests, put me in special classes, and even tutoring, but nothing worked. I always knew that I did have something wrong, but it wasn't what they thought. Yes, I was abused, but it only happened because of my crazy behavior/moods. I always had social anxiety and later on I thought I might have had depression, but I know it's not that. Also, I live in a country that thinks people with mental illnesses are crazy and also the only place I might get help is if I told someone at school, but I am too scared. I think I might have bipolar disorder. I am not sure if it is mixed episodes or not, but can mixed episodes have hallucinations and delusions? More details below.

It would make sense if I did have it, because sometimes I would feel normal, but everyone else thinks I'm crazy or they get scared. I would feel too hyper to sleep and then get out of bed in the middle of the night to find something to do. Also, I could spend days not sleeping much, just cleaning my room, organizing things, or other thinks I wouldn't usually do. I'd have so many different ideas and I also feel like something is controlling me. Ever since I could remember (probably around age 4, I am now 17) I tried so many ways to kill myself and wished I was dead. I am aggressive sometimes and start arguments for no reason. Sometimes any little thing will upset me. Also, sometimes I feel like eating everything and other times I don't feel like eating at all. Also, I started to have anxiety other than social anxiety and sometimes for no reason. People have told me that I am unpredictable because my mood keeps changing. It is hard to make friends, but also I can't keep them for very lon

You should definitely consider going to a psychologist again. If you are old enough to take care of yourself, you should not worry about what other people think and do this for yourself.

You need to be healthy and there are some people out there that have chemical imbalances and need to be on medication and you seem like one of them.

Killing yourself is a very selfish thing to consider for the people around you.

You would be surprised how much better you would feel on medication.

Think about it.

ok i wouldn't be to worried about going to talk to someone. i wouldn't let what other people say bother you. sometimes people just need someone to talk to that will listen and wont say your stupid or something else. a lot of people today find it acceptable to go and see someone. it just clears everything out so you don't explode on someone later. you sound a lot like how i feel sometimes. like almost everything that you have described. but i, like you am trying to figure stuff out. i wish i had more answers for you but like i said i myself am still trying to figure stuff out. try church or something also. =]

You sound like me when I was in high school. I would get up in the middle of the night and walk around the neighborhoods unable to sleep, and I was suicidal and tried to kill myself, but my best friend stopped me. I found out ten years later that I have bipolar disorder.

If you really want to know if you have bipolar disorder or not, you need to see a psychiatrist - a pscyhologist won't do you any good. Psychiatrists diagnose mental disorders and can give you medications if that is what you need.

Talk to your school counselor. You need to see a doctor asap to get you pointed in the right direction. You may have several different issues going on. Life shouldn't be this difficult for you. Medication, therapy, and a desire to do something productive with your life will make your days so much better.
Good luck, god bless, and take care of yourself.