What is life for you like as a victim to Bipolar I Disorder?

Life is all over the place for me.
Sometimes I'm on cloud nine, I'm running a business, I'm going to work, I'm socializing with people, and blazay and then
I get super hyper and unorganized and all over the place and kooky.

Then is the worst part. I get super depressed and want to die (I don't want to die really) because the pain in my soul is too much and I see dead things and I hear voices and I'm super tired and I don't want to run the business anymore and I want to quit but don't because I need the money and I don't want to talk to anyone including my husband and he's a good man.

I can't live like this. I was on Lithium and it worked but I changed doctors. Now, I am trying something different because I don't like the blood levels. I just started Lamictal.

Anyway, how is life for you other bipolar people? What do you do for a living? How do you cope? How are your religious beliefs? Friendships/relationships?

Sista gurl you described me to the T. It all started for me when i had my 4th child Dec of 2004. I have never been the same. At 33 years old i feel so lost and confused at times but other times i am so happy and over energized. I was running a home child care for 6 years and had to close it down because i feel i was not mentally stable to run it any more. At first my husband was so dam supportive but i think the duration of this crap has gotten hard for him to deal with. My family and friends have always depended on me for strength so its hard to talk to them completely. I lost a big part of my income and now i have major bills with my husband is the only one working. I had to make a choice and i chose to be fair to those children and my self but in the process i put a bigger strain on my family because not only did we loose alot of our resources but they've had to deal with my mood swings and my different personalities. I had post-partum after my child was born but i did not want to accept it so it progressed to bi-polar disorder. I do not hear voices but i have dreams of the future and i see dead people too dam much. I have no religion just a beliver that there is a higher power and he is good to me. I just want to feel better so i went to the mental health Doctor yesterday and she prescribed me LAMICTAL and i took the first one today. I also use cannabis to take me to another place when the bi-polar gets to rough to deal with. It is a very serious thing so you want to talk to your husband and also let him go to the doctor with you. Its always a Good idea to develop a support group and have someone to talk to. PLZ don't try and deal with it alone because it will break you. God is always there but he wants you to use your common since when making judgment, he woke you up this morning and he will walk with you until you go to sleep but its your responsibility to make the right choices in your life. If you need to talk just email me. Until then good luck and may God bless you always.

You should see a psychopharmacologist. They are doctors whose specialty is finding the right drug "cocktail" for their patients. For my sister, it was a combo of Lamictal and antidepressants and also antianxiety and even a mild stimulant. A good doctor can make all the difference.

I'm sorry about your condition. BPD is a tough diagnosis.

I also recommend that you try changing your diet. Read Ultrametabolism. Most disorders can be greatly relieved if not totally cured by dietary changes.

Yes we are victims because bipolar choose us we did not choose to be bipolar.But we are also survivors.we are fighting and winning everyday. i everyday look at it like this some where some place some one else has it worse and I'm actually one of the Lucky Ones.


psychopharmacologist is a wonderful idea as stated below i have done that for my son and myself.

I'm not bipolar, but read this Newsweek story. I did, great story, but it's really sad.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/139429

Wow! So much of what you described is how I feel!
Most of the time I dont want to be around people, I just want to stay home. Which I am a stay at home mom now, but still, I dont want to go to the store, when company cames over I groan thinking how much I dread it.
I get sooo depressed, it feels like life will never get better.
sometimes I have the flying high wonderful feeling, where I want to get stuff done, but not usualy. Sometimes I just fly off the handle when I am angry or hurt, and there have been a couple times I dont remember everything that was said. That is scary.
a doctor also gave me Lamictal. I only took it for awhile because of no insurance and it is pretty expensive. It seemed to even me out.
Now I am just taking cymbalta.
I just started a week ago..... I used to take it a couple yrs ago and it did a lot of good, so I am hoping it still does.
I hope your medication works for you!

It is so hard for people that dont have this disorder to understand how we feel. Even if I explain myself to my husband I can tell he doesnt really understand, but he is a great guy and he tries.

I'm on a cocktail of meds that are FINALLY working for me:
200mg Lamictal
200mg Seroquel
40mg Geodon
10mg Abilify

It took forever for me to get the right combo of meds, but it's WORTH THE WAIT! I'm finally able to function without all these mood swings and be productive all the time, not just half of it.

I'm a student, and I also volunteer (something I have only taken up when my meds started working).

I cope, obviously,with the meds very well. However, when I do get a "break", I have a therapist a phone call away.

Religion? I don't really belong to a religion. I have three basic beliefs:
1. A higher power exists
2. There's somesort of afterlife that is positive (no heaven/hell)
3. I'm 50/50 on reincarnation

I have social anxiety disorder, but the Geodon is help loads with that and I have returned (slowly) to social events with friends and family.

Don't give up. Things DO get better.