Is this happiness or bipolar disorder?

An hour of feeling like myself, calm, confident, and on top of everything, followed by severe anxiety/depression/nervousnes which lasts anywhere from 5 minutes to the rest of the day. I tried Effexor, which made me want to kill myself one minute, then made everything ok the next. I constantly change my interests: One hour I know FOR SURE I want to go into Psychology, then the next hour the word psychology sounds stupid, and Marketing is the cool thing to do. If I say something another person might not like, I constantly go back and forth in my brain saying "it's ok, what you said was fine", followed by an extreme pondering of how it wasn't fine, "I can't believe I said that". Some days I am completely interested in things, and other days I can't believe I ever even considered what I had once thought. I just tried a DL-Phenylalnine supplement to increase dopamine levels, and within an hour I was emailing/applying/texting people about how badly I wanted to start my marketing career.

I can't figure out whether or not my normal mood is "calmness" or "depression". I haven't been happy in so long. When I start to FEEL good, like today, I truly wonder if I'm being manic, or, just being myself.

Really doesn't sound like bipolar. Some degree of emotional lability is expected for someone with depression and anxiety

Emotional Wellness by OSHO. A wonderful book

and also wathc this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsI1aioXN...

Suddenly, I really wish I could meet you in real life. You just described my thought process to a T. I've had problems in the past with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and alcohol. Maybe we're the same?

Well how old are you? If you are 16 or older it could be bipolar but i wouldnt think so. It could just be hormones

I think, for the most part, people who are mentally unstable won't even ask these questions let alone seek help like you're doing. I have had/have bipolar friends and they're nuts! You don't sound nuts at all. You actually explained the stuff that used to go through my head. I had a severe anxiety disorder, so much to the point I wouldn't leave the house. I went pill hopping for years. And I self medicated, which set it off in the first place. So I quit doing drugs and drinking and found a psychiatrist that actually liked helping people. A year after being on stuff that finally worked for me, not only did I leave my house but I moved 800 miles away by myself all alone. Everyone uses some source of help, it's just a matter of finding the right one for you. The best help and ultimate healing is faith, having faith in yourself. And remember self-doubt is fear and fear is only created in your mind. When you feel yourself slipping away, focus on the feelings you had when you were happy and felt like yourself and build your strength of faith (just like you'd build a muscle) by conquering your fear (those negative doubt thoughts are resistance). Stick with what will ultimately make you feel your best, not temporarily. :)