Does it sound like Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?

I don't really know where to start but my mother has times where she is extremely happy. She will play music loudly and laugh extremely hard, dance in public, blast music while we're driving. She'll also hug me and use endearing names which I find a bit uncomfortable.

Other times, she gets mad over the smallest things. When I was ten, my family was going to this thing where there are a bunch of shows and free stuff. I said I didn't want to go, asking why I couldn't just stay at home alone for a bit since I'd done so the previous year while they went to New York for a couple of days. We argued over this for a little bit, I was basically just saying that no, I did not want to go and that I was not going. Eventually she got extremely angry, looked me in the eyes and approached my slowly, grabbed me by my shoulders and started shaking me. She hit me and I was crying and she started mocking me for it. She then pushed me and I fell onto a two foot tall small cushion and then she went into my room and started taking everything on my walls and on my desk and pushing it onto the floor. She started yelling that my room was way too messy and that I should clean it up. After everything was on the floor, she yelled at me to clean it all up, and since I was scared, I did.

She would pass my room occasionally and she was arguing with my dad. I cleaned everything up the best that I could, and she came into my room and said that it was not good enough and started yelling at me some more. I started arranging everything so that it was in perfect lines, but did nothing else, and she came into my room later and I don't remember anything else other than it was good enough.

She kept trying to get my father to leave with my brother. My sister wasn't there. She wanted the two of them to leave, and I knew that I was going to be alone with her. I was terrified that she was going to kill me, and please do not be rude for just writing this makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and guilty. I sneaked out of my room and as she was telling them to leave I just cried and shaked my head 'no' towards my father. They didn't leave.

This would happen occasionally. Not exactly like that, but I don't know. These sorts of things happened all the time, my family fought a lot. I always thought my family was normal up until around a month ago and now I've started posting these sorts of questions everywhere, sorry.

I can't write more as I have to leave soon, sorry this is long, but no one has to read it I guess. I'm 16, by the way.

I posted this once before, I'm not sure if I accidentally deleted this myself or if Yahoo deleted it, but if they did I won't post it again.

Thanks for your reply, I forgot who, but I can't. According to my parents, none of those things ever happened.

when i posted this earlier someone asked why i used an example from 6 yrars ago and that that confused them or something so:

i used an example from six years ago because whenever i post things, people say that i was probably just being a teenager. i was a child in that example so i was hoping no one would judge me. i'd have no problem writing about a more recent example.

less than a year ago i hadn't had a haircut in a while. i came home from school and my mother, although she kenw i didn't want to get one, ordered an appointment for me on that exact day. it was in only a little bit and my hair was greasy and i'd just gotten home from gym so i just said that no i was not going. later isaid, i'll go later in the week, i just don't want to go today. and she kept saying yes you will, i ordered an appointment for you and i said change it and we just kept going yes and no for a while. eventually she got mad

Well that's physical and emotional abuse, but I can't really say about your mother, could be either. I'd say borderline though from what you said, there are people vastly more qualified than me to advise you on what to do in these situations. I would say probably go to your room and lock the door? Not sure, hmmm never argue with irrational people. As my friend from South Africa would say "when two people are yelling at each other no one can tell who is sane."

Those with borderline personality disorder can be very manipulative and tend to seek out destructive habits and tendencies - i.e., promiscuity (I know it's gross seeing as it's your mother, but it's relevant), spending thousands of dollars shopping within an hour or two, driving very fast ("joyriding") to the point of possibly destruction. It can be hard to tell between BPD and bipolar disorder, but the largest signs are that the manic episodes in a borderline last longer - they think they're invincible, they try to manipulate those around them to feel sympathy for them, and if they don't, they simply dispose of them or lose interest because they can't be manipulated. It sounds as though your mother is bipolar - but, unless she or your father try to help her, chances are, she won't help herself. I know that it can be painful for you, and probably for your sisters and brother, but until she does something dire that will put your life or others' lives in danger, she won't be forced to seek help and undergo treatment. You can do the unthinkable and tell someone (which, again, may be worse of for you as they may find her unfit to be a mother and take her out of your lives) or you can try to talk to your father or close relatives. It doesn't sound like what she's doing is normal parenting, but I'm not a parent or psychologist, just a grad student, so I couldn't tell you in a professional context. You could also seek support from groups, a close friend or her parents, or a teacher who you can trust with confidence. I'm sorry for your rough times, I'm not sure how old you are, hopefully you can learn from her mistakes and leave at 18 with the knowledge of her behavior on your side.

yeah, it sounds like your mom has issues. i don't think she is bipolar because this is months of ups and then months of downs. and she could just have anger issues. she could be BPD if she changes around everyone to fit their personality. it is hard to tell just from a few instances you have had with her. nonetheless, she needs to seek treatment on her own...

Your assessment is really good, a lot of credit to you for analyzing objectively and having the ability to step outside and see it for what it is. My stepfather is bipolar and it does sound like him, except for that I think he seems more aware of it than your Mom. They are so similar I would really try and get a professional to help you, what about the school social worker or psychologist? The psychologist would be bound to keep your confidence. There is specific criteria for diagnosing each one of those, but the assessment is difficult without a professional to help with it. Good luck.