Breastfeeding question... moms with experience

Help! My 3 weeks old infant is a 'grazer'. She likes to nurse for ten minutes or so, falls asleep then is hungry again in an hour. I'm getting exhausted! I've tried everything to get her to stay awake for feedings and it just doesn't work! I really want to continue to breastfeed but I can't keep this schedule up much longer. the books tell me to feed whenever she's hungry, the women I know say to make her wait or I'll spoil her, I don't know what I should be doing!
She also wants to be held constantly. I love my baby more than anything, but I am definitely getting worn down. I can get her to sleep in her bed maybe 2 or 3 hours a night, then she just wants to be with me and she will scream NONSTOP until I pick her back up. I'm not a big fan of the 'cry it out' method when she's this little, but I did try it one night and it didn't work. I really didn't want her to get in the habit of sleeping in bed with us, but that's the only way she'll sleep. Any suggestions?

Thanks, most of you confirmed what my instincts were saying. I think I should pick her up whenever she cries and feed her whenever she's hungry, she's just a tiny little baby! But it's all the other moms around me telling me what I should and shouln't be doing that are making me question myself. I'll just follow my own instincts from now on. Thanks! :)

I had a friend tell me once that this phase doesn't last forever and you'll see as you both grow you'll go through different phases. Enjoy her while you can!

My daughter started out the exact same way. I ended up co-sleeping so I was able to breastfeed in the evenings without too much distruption. I needed to sleep.

It's still so early - you'll find your groove. For now just do whatever works for YOU and don't worry so much! Everything always works out in the end.

Good luck!

Maybe you can try her sleeping in a bassinet/pack n play in your room and then transition her into her room again...

Sounds exactly like my 2 week old. i think thats jyst how it is when ur breastfeeding.

take a deep breath and relax for a minute. It will get better, I promise. It seemed like all I did for the 1st 6 weeks was nurse constantly. I made the choice to bring my daughter to my bed with me, I needed sleep and CIO is a form of abuse, in my opinion. Think of it this way, for the last 40 weeks, your baby was held, rocked, fed and loved 24/7. its hard to adjust to being all alone.there really isnt anything wrong with co-sleeping.

I am not a fan of CIO ever but I think it may work for some mothers. That said a 3 week old should not have to be left to cry. Obiously there is a need that that she has. What you are decribing is very normal. My son was the same way. Yes you should be feeding on demand and No you will not spoil your baby. Try keeping her awake during feedings. This may help but some babies are simply happy snacking all day which makes for a long day. I also didn't think co-sleeping was right for us but it worked great. It can be your best freind while nursing. We had our son out of our bed before he was 9 months old with no problems. He slept better that way, I slept better and longer and it was easier for mid night feedings. And beware this schudule could continue whether you nurse or formula feed so you might as well try to keep nursing. I can promise you that this crazy schudule will calm down and be more strucured once your baby gets older. She is still a newborn and needs to feed as much as she wishes. This will also help your supply. As she gets older and bigger she will be able to last longer between feedings and will also devolp new skills ans intrest and want to play more then being held. I would go out and buy a baby sling or front carrier. I love my sling. I can hold my baby all day hands free and still do other stuff that needs my attention. i also can breastfeed hands free with it.
If your baby is sleepy here are some suggestions to help keep the baby awake and interested:

make sure your free hand is supporting your breast so the weight of the breast isn't on the baby's chin
switch breasts as soon as the baby begins to lose interest in active nursing, this *may* need to be done every 30 to 60 seconds at first (the first few times you do it). You should begin to see a difference within a couple days of doing this.
Burp and change diaper. Burping should be done with the baby sitting supported upright on mom's knee or lap rather than over the shoulder because it's also less sleep-inducing.
nurse in clutch or "football" hold as opposed to cradle hold - it's a little less "cuddly" and sleep-inducing.
massage the baby's head (crown) in a circular motion while nursing. Also using a wet cold washcloth and wiping back against the grain of the hair growth can help Try this for several days and see if there's improvement, and please update us as you can.
Place baby on your lap with legs near your tummy and head on your knees. Gently supporting baby, raise in sitting position, like doing a "sit- up". Do this two or three times, then do "side to side" a couple times.
You can also try breast compression.
www.mother-2-mother.com/cc-baby-A.htm
Some parents think if they rush to their baby every time it cries they will create a whiny, spoiled baby who will grow to be a spoiled child and later a spoiled teenager. This is simply not the case! Most of us have a strong urge to attend promptly to baby's distress (the crying bothers us). Those natural urges are quite appropriate. If we respond quickly the baby learns that he can trust you to take care of him and that trust in mom or dad leads to a secure attachment.

Recent research has shown that babies who get a quick and consistent response, especially during the first 6-8 months of life actually cry less than infants who have been left to cry for periods of time. When their needs are met, they develop a basic sense of security that allows them to be more confident and ready to explore and learn. These babies then become more independent as toddlers.

Remember -- your baby's cry is a way of asking for something. Your baby needs you not only to provide for her bodily needs but for comfort and reassurance. Because there are many different needs, it's important to know and use a variety of ways to respond to your infant. Sometimes if you answer quickly when your baby begins to fuss, the sound of your voice alone will be enough to soothe. Moving close and talking softly in her ear can provide comfort as can holding your hand gently on baby's back or tummy. Very young babies often like to be swaddled. The snug wrapping provides warmth and security. Some babies seek comfort through sucking on a pacifier, wrist or thumb. Others prefer motion to soothe them -- rocking, being carries as you walk, riding in a stroller or car.

Other studies indicate that continuous low-frequency sound can be effective in calming a baby - a ticking clock, humming with your lips pressed on baby's forehead or top of head, a music box, or singing softly -- tunes can be from the Beatles to Brahms.

Meeting all of a baby's needs can be a tough job. No one does it well all the time. It is good to remember that it is the "average" of all experiences that is important to your child's development

One thing that seemed to work for me when my daughter was that little was to get either a sling or a baby bjorn type carrier. That way you can hold your baby when they want to be held, but you can also still get something done. It also worked since my baby had reflux- I would put her in it and sleep in a recliner!!

As for the breastfeeding issues, I had the same problem. I ended up waking my baby up to be sure that she was getting enough milk by rubbing a cold baby wipe on her feet ( I know that is mean!!). If she is gaining weight, then she is doing okay. I promise you that it will get better. I didn't think that I would be able to survive at the beginning. Try to find a support group in your area (I went to one at the hospital in which I delivered). There are so many people that have great ideas that could help you. I know it seems like a huge task since your baby is only 3 weeks old, but it will make a world of difference.

Hang in there, you can do it. If breastfeeding just doesn't work for you, then don't feel bad about switching. Don't let other people make you think that you are a bad person if you do not breast feed. As long as your baby is gaining weight, then you are doing something right- formula or breastmilk!!

do NOT make her wait- making her wait would be making her starve NOt spoiling her. that's like saying you'll spoil your kids if you feed them. her tummy is so small right now that she can only take a little and it is digested quickly. plus at 3 weeks they usually go through a growth spurt and i know it's hard but i promise it doesn't last forever. you should NEVER let a 3 week old cry it out. this is the time they need you the most and being a mother is not easy- 3 week old do want to be held all the time and they should be. i suggest you get a sling so you can walk around hands free and even nurse her while she's in it. also, the lying down position is wonderful when you want to relax. breastfeeding does become very easy you just have a couple More weeks to go. i co-sleep and i love it and i have gotten the best sleep doing it that way and i dont mind it. it doesn't effect anything in my life really. just hang in there.... being a mother is tough but it gets easier andd you find way to do things easier
http://www.kellymom.com/

here is a wonderful breastfeeding website.

my son nursed every 45 minutes at first and it was tiring but it doesnt last too long. babies nure a lot so they cna bring up your milk supply as well. the more you nurse the more your supply grows

"I really want to continue to breastfeed but I can't keep this schedule up much longer...She also wants to be held constantly. I love my baby more than anything, but I am definitely getting worn down."

You have a normal baby.

You'll get through this. Just as millions of women before you have, and millions of women after you will. It will get quite a lot easier very quickly.

God knows what sort of sociopaths you know, but the goal with a newborn should be to get as much milk in there as baby wants, not to make her wait. Google "failure to thrive."

CIO is neglectful, lazy "parenting" at any age, but a SIDS risk as well in a baby that young. Don't do it.

Why _not_ let her sleep with you? It's good for you, it's good for her.

A sling or other soft carrier is a great help.

You _cannot_ make a baby _too_ secure. It will pay off many times over as she gets older.

Don't let a 3 week old cry. Ever. Even the CIO people say to wait until at least 6 months.

And I don't get the "make her wait or she'll be spoiled" logic. How can you spoil a child by giving them nourishment? Feed her on demand. I promise, by 6-8 weeks, she'll be in a regular feeding pattern. I had a "grazer" newborn and a 15 month old to chase after- it's tough, I understand. The first few weeks are a blur. Sleep deprivation is fun :)

My 2 year old slept on my chest for the first 6-8 weeks of his life....and he sleeps just fine in his bed now (he's been sleeping on his own since he stopped sleeping on my chest). Never had any issues. Once he got into a better sleeping/eating pattern, he wanted his own space.

I promise it will get better in 3-4 weeks. When you make it through the blur, you'll look back and miss the days of sitting back and nursing all day long.

At 3 weeks, your daughter needs you love an affection just as much as she needs her diaper changed and food in her belly. Attention is not a want, it's a need. She doesn't know that 3 in the morning is sleeping time and allowing her to cry in her bed alone will not teach her that.

I promise, it'll get better soon! Stick with it mama...we all go through this. Formula feeder & breastfeeders alike! It's a new baby thing. I promise you'll have a better feeding & sleeping pattern soon!

You have to do your best to stimulate her while she is feeding. Rub her feet, neck, tummy, etc. If you can't seem to keep her awake and do this, unlatch her and do your best to wake her up then relatch her. At this point, she is still going to be hard to keep awake. And your right, she is wayy to little for the cry it out method. At this point, you just have to feed on demand, but I promise you, it will get better! Also, around 2-3 weeks, they go through a growth spurt where all they want to do is nurse. I am sorry you are going through this, but its not forever! Good luck!

Don't listen to 'the women you know', please! (rule #1 of mothering- know when to smile, nod, give a gracious 'thank you' and then proceed to ignore. Epecially the women with just one child, because no two children are the same, and no two children need the exact same parenting, but only a mother of more than one or two realizes that.)
Your infant is being...

an infant :)

She is also regulating your milk supply to her own unique need.

If you're not a fan of co-sleeping, that's okay. We don't co-sleep per say, meaning for years; I DO have my children sleep with me or in a cradle next to me the first few months. But after that- I am a wife as well as a mother, and I love my huband. Our bed is where we always know to find eachother at the end of busy days :) It doesn't make it a habit to do it for the first few months, to the contrary it creates a secure baby and a well-rested (relatively speaking here!) mami.
Realistically there isn't much you can do here, but nap with your baby at times. Try a few carrier styles and find one you both like, keep her close, at least you can do a few things for yourself and your home as you feel like it. And really, just enjoy.. It goes all too fast. I can't beleive my youngest is already almost five weeks. And he is what we call a 'velcro baby' too- the kind of baby who takes 'baby wearing' to a new level. Fortunately he's my second baby like this, so I wa able to recognize it before it became an issue. Change your perspective a little, and you might find you enjoy the time that your baby can only be held, consoled and nurtured by you. Soon enough other people and things will grab her interest, and she will say "down, mami, I want down". :(

Enjoy :)