I need some help. I just found out that an extended family member, in her late 40s, has Stage 4 colon cancer.?

She was in relatively good health until she was diagnosed a few months ago. The cancer has spread all over her liver, to her lungs, and to other places, but I'm not sure where. She had surgery, but the doctors didn't remove anything because they said the cancer was too widespread. They decided to try chemo, but after a few sessions, they said her body was rejecting it- which I assume to mean that it wasn't working- and for some reason, decided not to try any more treatments. They have given her less than 6 months. I love her very dearly, but I do not feel that I can ask her or her immediate family question about her medical care because it might seem intrusive. I am struggling emotionally with this news, however. I don't understand why further treatments wouldn't be done. What would make a doctor decide to stop chemo all together after such a short time? Could there be something I'm not hearing through the family grapevine about her condition that would make chemo no longer an option?

The treatment may have been making her very sick. It did do that to my dad. I'm glad they are being honest with them. I get really bothered by doctors who push treatment when they know it is way past being useful and in fact making someone miserable. Hopefully they got into hospice which would work on symptom control, give medications, medical equipment and support from a variety of sources to make the last part of her life more comfortable so that she and her family would all be supported to allow them to spend this last period of her life together.

As you may realize now, there is no cure for cancer. There is treatment that may lead to individual remission and for all intents . . a 'cure'. However, there is never any guarantee. There is treatment for stage IV colon cancer and apparently your family member underwent the treatment. For unknown reasons some individuals fail to respond to first line treatments .. in general . . there are second and third line options available and other treatment options to consider. But, unless a patient hits on the right combinations at the right times . . a patient can run out of time and options that work. That may become when quality vs quanity will come into play for an individual and hard decisions are made. In other words, the doctor probably did not stop chemo . . your family member made that decision based on information given by the doctor. However, if your family member wished to continue seeking treatment . . than they can look for a second or third opinon. I suspect however that it is your family member who has decided they no longer wish to fight the cancer.

Stay strong and support your loved one no matter what the situation. Best to you.

Go to her in private and ask her. She might be willing to answer when she can. Chances are you are going to both hold each other and cry.

Tell her if she just does not feel its appropriate or does not want to answer then its ok with you.

Problem is that there is a family gene that pre disposes people to colon cancer. I wish we would have known about when my husband's youngst brother died at age 48. The other brothers and sisters should have had colonoscopy's then.

Four years later my husband was lucky as they found he had colon cancer that had not spread to the nodes. He had half his large intestine removed and a bowel resection. They did not do chemo. They told him if it came back it would be in his liver or lungs.

Now we find out colon cacer runs in his family. Aunts and uncles for several genearations back and grandparents had died from it. I had never thought to start adding up the family tree health history.

Our children start getting colonoscopy's early in life. They can remove the polyps before they become cancerous.

Looking back I firmly believe that my youngest brother in law was struggling with polyps when he was in his late teens. He had problems and no one thought to add things together.

As for your family member my guess is that the cancer is too wide spread already especially if its in her liver and lungs. Probably the chemo therapy is just not working. Next place it might matastizes to is the brain.

I have become more aware of how insidious colon cancer can be and how devistating it is. If they are giving her less then six months to live then the Drs feel there is nothing more that they can do. Visit her often and just sit and listen to what she has to say to you.



Its hard to say goodbye to a family member.

take time and type in colon cancer into the search engine and read all you can on it.

I think that I would like that Doctor. Too often the treatments are the killer and the patient is given false hope in Stage 4 and they prolong their lives by two months of vomiting and pain. So this Doctor is being realistic. I agree that it isnt polite to ask questions about the medical care because it is her business. All you can do is write or call and ask if there is anything you can do and let her know you are there for her.

I am sorry to hear about you loved one. I would definately NOT ask her what is happening. My Mum was diagnosed with kidney cancer in May 2007 it had already spread to the liver and lung when it was diagnosed. There was no treatment, no cure, it was extremely aggressive she past away a month ago. Chemo will do NOTHING for your loved one at this stage it has spread too far thru the body. The chemo will just make her sicker than the cancer itself and will achieve nothing but extending pain and suffering. There is nothing anybody in the medical field can do now but keep her pain free and comfortable. From where the cancer is i would give her 3 months or less.

Drop me an email, urgent. I'll provide you with more information. By the way sorry to hear that.