Im 23 and pregnant even though i did use contraception.im having an abortion but the thought of it terrifies m

i did use contraception but I got caught out. my mum and my sister want me to keep it, the father is not involved and he never will be. im just so afraid of the possiblities. I am in my second year of uni doing great and I had no idea i was pregnant because i have had irregular periods for years. Im having an abortion but I am so afraid and i have no one to talk to about this, any help would be appreciated. according to the doctor im between 10-14 weeks. I just feel really confused and shocked and my mum wont even talk to me because she doesnt want me to have an abortion and i cant even look at a baby or a child in the street at the moment. I am sorry if i sound daft but I am honestly at wits end!! i just wish it could be easier.

You need to be 100% sure that you want a termination. Don't listen to the anti choice ranters, they are trying to make you feel guilty.
It sounds as if your hormones are kicking in, too. Go and have a word with your GP or a nurse if you can, and hopefully that will ease any fears.
Whatever you decide, good luck.

Please consider looking at www.abortionno.org. Dr. Meg Meeker, MD, author of the book "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" observes that until people reach their mid-twenties, the pre-frontal cortex of the brain (the decision making area) is still developing. You owe it to youself and your peace of mind to know exactly what you're doing, if you decide to do it.

Those who make a massive profit off the baby removal industry present it as "choice," as do the self-righteously self-absorbed. Depending upon your "choice", you may be haunted by your conscience for the rest of your life.

I think you need to find a trusted counselor to talk too. Don't rush into the abortion. It sounds like your mom is willing to help you and be there for you to keep the baby. Give it up for adoption if it comes to that but don't abort it. A child is gift from God. Your child can make a difference in the world. I wish you the best!

Go back to your doc and explain your feeling, it may be that he/she recommends you seek some counselling before you go through with the procedure.
It's a difficult decision to make, and if you're sure it's what you want, then it's entirely up to you. It's not for anyone else to judge, you can only do what's right for you and your situation.

If you are in the UK I would strongly advise visiting a family planning clinic, they're all over the place and the people there are really good and non-judgemental. I used to go there for everything, including free condoms which is great.
They'll talk you through your options and help you make the right decision. Good luck.

well i dont like people giving abortions, ur friends and family can help u ou and u can still av a good work life etc but if u dont want involvment with this child i would like 2 know that u would think about having the baby and putting baby 4 adoption? at least give this baby a life please. its not fair just 2 b killed like that

Well personally I think you should not have an abortion. You should have thought about the possibilities when you were having sex. I think if you dont want the child dont kill it give it up for adoption for those out there who cannot have kids!

What exactly is it that is terrifying you, is it the fact that you are destroying a life, or the fact that you don't know what is involved in the procedure, or that you are worried you will regret it, or what?

You need proper counselling from people better qualified than those of us on YA. From what you say though it sounds like you want to keep your baby. You can do it even if the father isn't interested. Keep strong xx

What is your question? Im sorry, but I am pregnant, after trying for 8 years, so your post makes me sick. At 10-14 weeks your baby has a heartbeat. Im sorry for your situation, but that is murder.

An abortion could make you feel even more confused in years to come. It's your decision, but why do it?

Nobody ever likes anybody elses kids as much as you do your own. Being able to get pregnant and having children is Gods gift to women. I really do suggest that you learn more about Abortions and what procedures they do to yank that baby out of your woumb. They don't use magic wands to make it dissapear, they yank the head first, then limb by libm and its prettey bloody. Its not human to do something like that to a living thing. by 10-14 weeks you can already hear a hart beat and most of its organs are already forming.

You make it sound like you are selfish and you only think of your self. Having a baby is the most beutiful thing for a woman. I assure you that when you have this baby you will change the way you think. Why don't you want to give the chance of life to this baby? when you have the support of your family. Your family will alsways be there to help you when ever you need them. It looks like your mother will alsways be there.

Good luck with whatever you deside.

only you know if this is the correct decision for you, it is horrible for your sister and mum to be treating you like this, they should be supporting you and helping you through this not imposing their own views on you. finding out you're pregnant can take a lot of getting used to, even when you are planning a family.

my advice would be to speak to a professional, perhaps go back to the doctor and discuss your options or get the telephone number for a family planning/abortion support line.

do not feel guilty, this is a huge life changing decision, you need to make sure that it's the right one for you. good luck xx

please do not have an abortion you will regret it for the rest of your life you will be wandering what the baby would look like was it a girl or a boy and even the time it would be due you will remember ....there are a lot of people in your situation that have had a great deal of support from families etc and it sounds like your mum Will be there for you as well . when you have had the baby you can go back to studying then and you can still study till the babies due .............worse case is if you really don't want this baby have it then put it up for adoption or fostering but i personally cannot see your mum allowing that anyway .......just think you could have a lovely healthy son or daughter in November and a grandchild for your mum.Please do not have an abortion your have your baby look back at these answers and see we were all right about the decisions

My sister was pregnant at age 23 also, she didn't tell anyone but the guy she was dating at the time. Hes response was if you have it i will kill myself. She told him she had no money to get an abortion so he said he'd pay for it. She left at 5 in the morning went through counseling all day and did it. She has regretted it ever since. She knew she wasn't ready for a child, but the baby was alive, it had a heart beat. My sister cant even believe she did anything like that. The way we all look at it in my family is there are far to many people out there trying to have a baby and cant, she could of put it up for adoption to give a family who actually deserve a chance at being parents. Having a baby is the most beautiful thing ever. It changes your life. But having an abortion isn't the answer. Please re think and look at other options. Abortion is Murder.

You need to go see a counsellor or therapist that deals with this type of situation all the time. I believe they are the only ones that can help you come to the best informed decision for yourself. Just keep in mind, that this is YOUR body and YOUR decision. You should not go against your better judgement for you, just to please others. The only thing I ask of ANYONE considering abortion is that they make an INFORMED decision. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out well.

what is with some of these women here "murder" really. if a woman got raped and ended up pregnant and wanted an abortion. . .wud you still call it murder.!
i have to appologise for some of these women here.
as i Think i could be in the same boat as you, i have the coil in but i think i may be pregnant. i already have 2 young children and i dnt want any more.
But i do suggest think really hard and talk to someone who can help you come to a decision i think. in your hearts of hearts you want to keep it, my sister is 18 she fell pregnant andis due next week, we (her family) will all be there to help her, as im sure your family will be to no matter what you decide to do.
What ever you decide to do. is up to you and no one else !

good luck xx

When it comes to it the choice is yours but it sounds like you're trying to please every one else while also thinking of the options. Discuss it with your mum, let her know your fears and thoughts, perhaps it will help you with a solution. If your mum really won't talk to you go back to your doctor and talk it over. Whatever happens remember it is your body and your choice, if you don't believe you can take care of a child then you really have already thought it thru and know what you think would be best. It's down to your decision and while no one can make it for you it might be best for you to talk thru everything with someone first.

i am a big believer in things happen for a reason. i had an 8 month old going to uni and i had no support, financial or otherwise. you would be amazed at howmuch support is out there in uni and its not advertised.you sound like a sensible young woman, so i think your letting your brain think a llittle too hard. you have a great oppurtunity to have a baby and to persue your education,do not think that your baby will stop you from doing it. i think you are tormented not by the choice that you say you have to make but by the voice in your head that knows that an abortion would be the wrong choice for you. i had to compete with that self-conflict in my last year of university when i fell pregnant with mysecondson.although his dad and i are still together it was not plain sailing he had alot ofproblems and our relationship suffered. think of my story as your inspiration. i dont think abortion is what you really want and your intellugent enough to even struggle with the concept of doing that to your baby whereas somewomen treat it like a dental procedure. you seem to have a lot of support so you are lucky. and to be honest having a man there is notalways easy anyway.

I know this is a crazy difficult time for you-not from personal expierence but I had a friend in college that was in the same boat. PLease think this through-do you really think it is going to get easier to look at a baby in the in street after you have you abortion? You are smart and I think you are full aware that at 10 weeks the baby has a heartbeat and that in another few wekks you will be able to feel it moving around. Do you ever want to have kids? If so, how do you justify this? I know it will be hard,but there are ways to do it-thousands of single in school mothers do it everyday. I am not saying this is ideal but please think this through. It is a baby already and I am sorry to say that I don't think it will ever be easier. If your mom wants this baby so bad do you not think she will be there to help you when you need it? Please think hard.
God Bless

It's a child, not a curse or a burden. Just because you are having a baby doesnt mean that is it for your dreams. I am 12 weeks pregnant, and 18. But that doesnt mean that Im not going to go to college. I still see those dreams, and even though I cant get to them as soon as I would have liked to, I will still get there. I know it must be hard though, knowing that the father will never be in that child's life, but there are still plenty of other people who will. If you KNOW that you just cant have this baby, then give it up for adoption. At least give him/her a chance to live. Some people dont get the opportunity to have children...

I am 21 and just found out I was pregnant. Trust me I am still dealing with the news. I mean I feel like I am too young I had different plans with my life other then changing diapers. I am in college, I work full time and all that. But then I remember that I have life growing inside me and that is one of the most beautiful thing that could happen to a woman. There millions of women and coulples that would love to experiece how it feels to be pregnant and would love to have a baby but cant.
By having a abortion u are being selfish. U are thinking about yourself. YOur baby deserve life. Your layed there and had sex knowing it may lead to this. Your mother wants to be a gradmother. Dont deny your own child the right to live, dont deny your mom to be a gradmother.
I know its going to hard but hey life its hard. Your baby is growing inside you. This tiny lil heart is beating.there is adoption as well.
Well think about it very well and keep us posted. Good luck.

there are a lot of things to consider. i've personally gone through an abortion when i was in university and i can understand how this decision is very difficult to make. on one hand, you might not want an abortion, but you have to ask yourself if you are able to provide for your child. how will you be able to support yourself and your baby? even though your mom might be happy to help, being a parent is a lifelong 'job'. and being a single mom is not going to be easy. maybe if the baby's father is more willing to help you out (ie. emotionally, monetary), then maybe having the baby will be alright. being a single mom is tough, i've seen how my friends have had to leave school and ended up doing nothing close to what they have aspired to do for a career. they struggle to make ends meet. to be honest, a healthy child needs the love and nurture of two loving people. that's the most important need you should be able to provide to your child.

it was selfish of me to decide to have an abortion, but my decision was made out of the best interest of the baby because at that particular moment i knew i would not be able to provide the best for my child. and to that extent, i don't think i would have made a good mother because i would want only the best for my child.

now that i've finished school, my career is going well, and i've got a man who truly wants to spend his life with me...only now am i thinking if i should have a baby and start a family.

whatever you decide, i'm wishing you all the best.

The comments you may get on here with such a question won't help you much really.
This really is a personal choice darling and you need to talk to some one. There are pregnancy advisory places, look them up. Whatever you decide, you must decide what's best for YOU! NOT your mother, sister or any other family members. They're lives, after all, will be INdirectly involved where as your life will change for ever. Whatever you decide i'm sure it'll be the right decision. As for the "i'm pregnant after 8 yrs of trying woman" so bl**dy what? ignore it and other such comments. What does your scenario have to do with they'res? Nothing. Make your own decision babe based on what's right by you. Just make sure it's a fully informed choice. Good Luck hon.

When i was 18 i got pregnant and i was single, like you my parents were there to support me but i knew i wanted this baby, it was hard but i coped, hes now 8 and i couldnt imagine life without him, your life does NOT have to stop because of a child, i can understand why your thinking the way you do, im sure your mum and sister will help you out anytime you need them, if your that far along your baby will be formed by now you should be having a 12 week scan anytime soon, i dont agree with abortion after 12 weeks before is bad enough but not half as bad as after that week!
Just really talk to your mum she obviously wants to help you and her grandchild to be, dont jump into a big decision like this because once its done theres NO going back!
Children are so much fun im 27 expecting my 3rd and last and i work part time from home and sometimes its hard but i really do enjoy being a mother its not all doom and gloom its the best thing any woman can do xx

You should listent ot your family. an abortion is a very traumatic experience and if you are already scared you will feel bad once you do it and it will haunt you for life. Your family may be able to help you in this process so that you can finish school and make a life for yourself. There is no shame in being a single mom and you are not so young that you would be unable to handle being a mother specially if your mom supports you in keeping the baby. Make a list of the pros and cons and don't be selfish that is a life you have growing inside of you. Have the baby and if you still don't want it place it in a loving home as there are many adoptive parents like me and my husband looking to adopt.

do whatever you feels best. if you think that a baby could interupt what you're doin in your life right now then have the abortion or consider adoption so you know that you could one day find your baby again after you've done what you want to in your life. if you think that you are capable of having a kid and looking after it then keep the baby and have a go at parenting. your family will love you no matter what and its up to you what you do. you can seek help from doctors and specialists in this sort of thing. if you're up for that then you should look for a self help book and do the right thing.

Dont get rid of it then, if its hard for you now it is worse for you when you do kill it, at 10-14 weeks he/she has all the arms and legs,etc and its unfair that you got caught out but its not fair to get rid of your baby its a selfish thing to do, you can still go to uni and carry on, and as you mum and sister seem so supportive and dont want you to get rid of it then they could look after baby for you once its born for you to carry on with your life, you can work round babies, its not the end of the world. adopt even, but dont kill it, If you have had a 12 week scan you will see just how developed you baby is.

It breaks my heart !

I've read some of the answers to your questions and I'm appalled that words like murderer and killer are being used towards an obviously distressed woman who is about to make the most awful decision she'll have to make. My answer to your question is this. It's your life that will be affected by your decision and only yours your family may be around in the early months and years but will they still be around when the child is 5, 8, 10, 16 and all the way to 18. If you bring a child into the world that you don't want you will spend the rest of your life resenting it for all the sacrifices you will have to make in the future. If you abort now it will be a medical abortion they will give you a tablet, you will go home for 24 hours it will start contractions, you will go back into hospital 24 hours later, they will give you a pessary and you will have the worst pain (worse than any period pain you've ever had) and you will experience a very heavy period. If you wait longer to make your decision your will have to have a D&C (not good at all). Think long and hard about what you really want, having this child could be the best thing that you have ever done, but if you not absolutely sure it could be the worst. Take some professional advice your doctor should give your councilling before you start the procedure I wish you all the luck in the world and never feel guilty whatever you decide, it's your life my lovie. X X

Well there was a few reasons Allah forbid sex before marriage, and this is one.

Your in a very difficult situation, and you can ask for advice and help but at the end of the day it is your decision.

There are lots of chatlines you can talk to, try one (they would be better than anyone on Y/A)
I think you should probably keep the baby and let your friends and family help you out, find a nice guy who is willing to be with you and not some manwhore who with you have brought someone into the world. Your baby is now a human, abortion is murder.