I'm pregnant... (yes we used contraception) but it's complicated (!) ?

Been with partner for 3yrs we are in mid-late 30s and don't live together, he has 2 ex's and 4 kids, neither of which i have much to do with. Thought I loved him and wanted to be with him, but being pregnant mades me think seriously about his past, i.e what if he leaves me too?

My initial reaction is that I don't trust him - not when it comes to my child - and that he may leave.

He's over the moon, saying he will stay with me forever.

I'm stressed - his favourite is currently his youngest, who's 6yrs, his eldest is 18 who's just had a kid who he's never seen, and from what he says has no interest in.

This would be my first child, and I really hate that he's never seen his grandkid and that he plays favourites with his kids. Won't he do that with me?

He tell's me that 'its just about him, me and our baby' - I hate that, my child would have 4 half brothers and sisters and also have a neice.

I love him but have to end it - how do i tell him? I take responsibilty for this and feel really stupid and depressed. This would be my first child and hormones are running riot.

Don't be silly silly jonesy - if we planned it we wouldn't use contraception.
Stupid, stupid comment

Hormones are running riot - I'm not mitigating the seriousness of your situation, or how looking at the long-term might suddenly change your perspective of this boyfriend......but is your decision truly based on his past, or is this something that may pass when your hormones come on an even keel?

These are serious issues, nothing to be taken lightly - and I certainly dont condemn you for finding yourself in this situation. Many of us have found ourselves there, and alot of us took the easy way out. I commend you for wanting what is best for your baby, and that you plan to keep your child rather than undergoing an abortion. In this day and hour that is saying alot for you......

Can you hold off on any more major decisions (like breaking up with the father of your child) until you've had more time to adjust to all this? You may be exactly right about the boyfriend, and he may let you and this baby down someday....but you know what? It wouldn't be the end of the world if he did. For now it sounds like he is eager to be with you and help welcome this new baby into the world, and you may need his support in more ways in the days ahead than you currently anticipate. Before you cut the cord (pun intended), why not give him a chance to prove himself?

Best wishes to you and this wonderful baby! Try not to let the uncertainty of your relationship with the father destroy your happiness over welcoming this new precious child into the world.....

ps - Jonesy crossed the line. She has been reported....

Sounds more like your hormones are playing up alright - now are you going to end it all just at this moment... that sounds very strange to me.

Anyway I think you should talk through your fears - but you should also recognise that you are PROJECTING your fears (which is normal)... but if you keep acting like you can think inside his head then you might just get that separation by undermining your relationship at the time you should be bonding more closely.

You need to be honest with him..It was fine when it was just the two of you but adding another person into it has made you rethink things..Tell him he needs to get his life and his relationships together before you can trust him to be the man you need as your partner and your childs father..GL and i am sorry...but congrats! having a baby is a wonderful thing..

you just have to be honest with him, and let him know how you feel about him playing favorites with his kids and that your afraid that hes just going to leave you like he did the other two. I've always found that being as honest as you can with them, makes it easier on yourself to move on.

Well, you need to tell him you need a break, that you want to be a single mother, yes- that he will forever be the daddy and can play up that role as much as he'd like, but that you don't want the relationship attachment. Good luck!

Tell him what you just said here. He'll get it. To be honest, chances are, he WILL act that way. What makes this so different? This will be baby # 5. I wish you and your baby all the best and commend you for not just waiting to see what happens for his sake. Good luck. All the best. :)

By 'have to end it' do you mean your relationship with the father? or the pregnancy?

I'm not sure what you should do, but your feelings are normal for knowing all that about him. He sounds like a pretty sucky dad.

If you really love him and he really loves you, make him marry you. If he's really committed to you, he'll do that with no problem, and then you'll have the comfort and security you need to know that he wont do the same thing to you (and if he does, he'll pay for it). Sometimes you can't change the past, but you can create a better future if you're willing to work for it. I think you should just wait until your hormones settle down before making any decisions, because you don't want to regret anything. Good luck!