Depression? I'm Not sure.. Help? I am 16, Insane, and having constant 'pleasant' fantasies of stabbing myself.

I was 10, and having problems at school, I never slept at night, just took naps during the day in class. About a year later I started to attend another school, this school was fine, but I was still having serious sleeping problems, I still didn't sleep much at all, and I was always weak. These problems continued for a few years, then I started sleeping semi-normally. Soon after I was sleeping too much, almost 13 hour sleeps. Not to mention that during my winter depression when i was 13, I had the most disturbing dreams. My feet were also feeling limp and numb. I was worried all the time about dying... During my current depression I am experiencing not-so similar-symptoms, but now I have no confidence, I over-eat, my sleeping schedule is horrible, my whole world is distorted and blurry. And Im always stammering. I cry myself to sleep, and always feel like I NEED to fake a smile to get through the day. Everyone calls me crazy. I am on antidepressants (they dont work) and I'm androphobic.

It sounds like you are suffering from whats called "panic & anxity disorder. It is as you stated,hell! Also your sleep disorder could come from clinical depression. See a GOOD doc. It can be controlled and the benifits will amaze you.

First, you're not insane and don't let anyone make you feel that way. You're just having a rough time and you were dealt a difficult hand in life, that's all. I'm sorry things have been so hard. It sounds like you're going through a lot and it sounds like you don't really have anyone around who understands what you are dealing with. I definitely think you need to see a better doctor who can help with better medications and can better diagnose what you're experiencing. Please feel free to email me. If I knew more about your situation (family, health insurance, state of residence, etc) I could suggest some directions for you to pursue to get better help. Due to my profession (I'll explain more if you decide to email me), I work a lot with mental health and am aware of a lot of available resources. Good luck & I hope this was helpful!

Depression could very well have started in your childhood. Hopefully you got your meds from a psychiatrist, because family doctors are not as familiar with them. The drugs take at least 2 weeks to work and that is after you have ramped up to the recommended dose. If one drug doesn't work there are a lot of choices, but it takes time. If you have faith in your doctor you can be optimistic about your future. Your friends need to be educated about depression. People that think you should be able to snap out of it are no friends at all. Even if your true friends don't understand what you are going through they will make an effort to learn about it and accept you regardless

Yeah, I have had those nice fantasies of stabbing myself. When I catch myself doing it now, I know it is time to call my psychiatrist.

Sometimes yes, the anti-depressants don't work but you have to try the different ones and then hopefully you find the "one" for you.

Many people do not like medicines, I am not crazy about it myself but they are necessary for me if I don't want to be suicidal.

Sometimes we have to be protected from ourselves. Please ask to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Tell them everything, it is the only way to get help.

take care