Is It Bad To Think That Someone Is Faking Depression To Get My Attention?

How can I know if they are for real...

And how can I preserve myself if they are just manipulating me?

Oh lucky,

How often we ignore our instincts... and usually they are true... the mere fact that this person inspires this question in you should be truth enough...

The fact is, is that whether this person is intentionally manipulating you or not, they have planted this seed of thought in you.... your responsibility is to yourself... and if you are having these doubts about this person's intentions, you are probably right... listen to your instincts.

I've been in relationships in the past where I had extreme paranoia about the intentions and motivations of a person... and didn't know if they were lying or not... on one hand, I felt a deep care and want to help them, but that was not possible and not my responsibility, especially since it was detrimental to my own mental health and well being... I didn't NEED them in my life and they didn't NEED me... and from all that paranoia and looking back on it, i still don't know whether it was truth or lies.... what i DO know now, was that they were not good for me to be around at that moment of time...

Also, if this person is placing unfair resonsibilities and expectiations on you, that is unfair to you and no one should do that, and don't you stand for that either... u obviously do not trust them enough for you to give yourself to that person.... so just don't and let it be... they will be fine either which way.

I would think the key is looking for the loss of pleasure in things/activities that the individual used to participate in and find interesting, low energy, and inability to concentrate or focus and/or indecisiveness. Those things are really hard to fake for a long time. I don't think it's "bad" to think that but I'd error on the 'better safe than sorry' side because if you don't listen to warning signs, it may be too little too late. That was the case with my cousin who committed suicide and I see that a lot with the school shootings that go on. Once they start investigating, the warning signs are there, it's just no one bothered to put them together and get help for the person. However, hindsight is 20/20 and it's much easier to put the pieces together after you get the complete picture.

It's hard to know if someone's doing it for attention or if they're really depressed.
I agree with the first person. Find out how they act when no one is around, or gauge their reaction to something they were once really interested in.
It's not necessarily a bad thing to think they're faking, especially if they're the type of person who would do that. Don't tell them you think they're faking, and offer them support if they need it. If you want them to get help, tell them.
As to preserving yourself, just don't let yourself get too wrapped up in their stories, especially if you think it's not true. Don't ignore the person, and take everything they say with a grain of salt.

In the end, it's all your decision as to whether or not you believe them.

This is tough because when someone is actually mentally ill their behavior seems irrational to us as healthy people. Naturally we try to frame it in some way that makes sense to us. "She must be just trying to get my attention because nobody really thinks or acts that way right?" I'm inclined to err on the side of assuming they're sick because treating them like they're not when they are can be pretty damaging.

But you still have to protect yourself. Just because someone's sick doesn't mean you need to enable their sickness or that you have to give in to unreasonable demands. If it becomes too intense, recognize that you don't have the tools to help them and encourage them to seek professional help. It's really the best you can do.

if someone actualy has to fake a depression to get attention than this person is already depressed. or is the kind of hitman or secret agent you see in the movies.

It is neither good or bad, it is what it is. If you like feeling bad then think of yourself as bad. If you like feeling good then think of your self as Good. It is all up to you.

see how they are by themselves when you leave them alone. depressed people are usually moodless and never feel like talking bout most things. try talking bt something exciting to them and see how they respond.

...I agree with Hully_guy...if they are trying to paint this picture, then they have Issues somewhere

This question is multilayered so I will take it one step at a time.

Is the person faking depression?

Does the person even know what depression looks like to fake it? That is the better question. It is not easy to fake something you have no idea what it looks like and it would be easy to spot if it were false if in fact you know first hand what it looks like. Of course, knowing first hand what it looks like might actually desensitize you to the symptoms so you might choose to overlook this malady. That said symptoms include:

Feeling sad or blue

Crying spells

Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities

Significant increase or decrease in appetite

Significant weight loss or weight gain

Inability to sleep or excessive sleeping

Agitation or irritability

Fatigue or loss of energy

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt

Thoughts of death or suicide.

If you see these things then you might be seeing someone who is depressed.

On the other hand, you may be seeing someone who is diabetic, or hyperactive, or hypertensive or any number of other conditions that can and do create similar symptoms that with proper diet, exercise, and sleep might correct the symptoms.

In otherwords, avoid making assumptions or diagnoses with a medical as wella s a psychological history on the person.

I mean, you could be taking weight loss medication and be showing most of these symptoms and as for the death thing, that comes with exposure to death, like being in a hospital, caregiving or funeral business setting frequently. I have actually heard surgeons talking about such things while scrubbing up and the patient they were talking about was not 20 feet away. Were they depressed or simply stupid in talking about possible death so close to others/ You have to use some common sense here.

On to "getting your attention?"

If someone is talking to you then they obviously want your attention. I don't see that the bit about depression and the bit about gtting your attention are clearly strategic but then again this is me trying to look at the combination and say yes or no and the answer is perhaps some where in between. It may be a coincidence of events. There is no telling with out asking the person andit is doubtful that the person would think that they acted a certain way simply to manipulate you.

Now for the ethical question.

Is it bad to do this, assuming the first two parts are correct in your assumptions?

This is value judgment you must make and no one else. Does it bother you so much that you feel that you can no longer deal with this person? If so then you have already made your decision and your answer is yes. If not, then clearly it is not so wrong if wrong at all and you can move on with your relationship with this person. Make a decision map and see where this leads you and perhaps that will help. It is all up to you.

And finally, how do you preserve yourself if they are trying to manipulate you?

Don't let them. Stand up for what you believe in. tell them what you think. Listen to what they have to say and leave it at that. Always remember the choice is yours. Do not fel obligated to stay with anyone who make you feel manipulated. Do what is right for you. Hopefully they will understand.

Good Luck.