I have struggled with these things most of my life and I feel I'm really ready to get help. What meds have worked for you or loved one and what were side effects ? I'm also considering counseling. I'm tired of being unhappy and my husband is very stressed and negetive and moody and hard to live with . He never wants to do anything fun. He denies he has any problems and blames everything on life circumstances. How can I get him to seek help? Shan, you don't think the husband has his own issues too?
You should both seek medical advice and/or counselling as it sounds that the relationship is part of the problem.
Medication can help. A few months on Prozac many years ago (there are better drugs now, I hear) helped me with ongoing depression brought on by circumstances. It helped me feel better about myself, then life, and eventually allowed me to move forward and work on the other issues. After voluntarily stopping treatment when I felt ready, I was fine for years afterwards!
Maybe you and your husband (who first has to acknowledge he has issues too) should try and seek a solution together.
If that's not possible you should think about a trial (or permanent) separation. What I do when I'm stressed out is I take this relaxation medicine called Absolute Calm, this wont be a solution to your problems just something to help u relax when you feel like you need it. I would advise going seeking therapy to help. Absolute Calm though is nice because its all natural and doesn't require a prescription, I use it if Ive had a particularly stress full day at work and I want to relax, here's a link:
http://getabsolutecalm.com/general/?utm_... I'm really sorry to hear about what's going on.
I'm 15 now, but about 4 years ago, my mom decided she wanted to get help for her anxiety and depression.
And she also had OCD.
She got put TONS of medication.
I don't even know the names of them, there were so many different ones.
Just a warning: remember that some drugs you get put on are completely mind altering, and you may be unhappy now, but the site effects of the medication may also make you unhappy, just in a different way. Just be very careful, and if your doctor mentions it to you, do a lot of research on the medication before you try it. Because it ruined my mothers life, and now I don't live with her nor speak to her, because once you're taken over by a strong medication it's very hard to be weened off of it.
I don't want to make all of the medication sound bad because it isn't, some medicines can change a person's life.
You just have to make sure you find the right kind that's for you.
And know it's not addictive or mind altering.
Counseling is your best bet right now. Talk to your psychiatrist about how to handle the situation with your husband, and I'm sure she'll help you to help him.
Good luck, and be careful :] Self-Esteem
How you think about yourself defines your self-esteem. How you see yourself defines your self-esteem. If you are hard on yourself when you make a mistake, if you don't like what you see in the mirror, if you feel like a failure every time your anxiety relapses, chances are you have low self-esteem. You probably don't like yourself all that well. If you don't like yourself, it may be difficult to believe that recovery from your anxiety disorder is possible.
Low self-esteem and anxiety may become a vicious cycle. Perhaps low self-esteem is one cause of your disorder. Perhaps years of battling your disorder have led to low self-esteem. It really doesn't matter which came first because, either way, the two are feeding on each other now. Eliminating one problem won't necessarily eliminate the other, but working on both will bring you further along the road to recovery.
Low self-esteem doesn't change to high self-esteem over night. However, the acts of being good to yourself and compassionate towards yourself will help immensely. These are acts which you may practice every day by being conscious of how you "speak" to yourself. If you have low self-esteem, there's a good chance that you are much harder on yourself than you are on other people.
Would you get angry with someone else for having an anxiety relapse? Then why get angry with yourself? Think of the words you use to comfort your friends when they relapse and give yourself the same treatment. This is a technique you may try whenever you are having critical thoughts towards yourself. You might not believe those comforting words at first, but time and practice will make a difference.
The main problem with changing low self-esteem is recognition of the problem in the first place. You might not notice that you are being critical of yourself. You might not see the connection between your self-criticism and your anxiety. Take some time to notice how you talk to yourself. You might carry a small notebook with you to write down some of these thoughts. In the same notebook, write kind, comforting words you may say to yourself when you start to beat yourself up.
I have been suffering from Self-Esteem and Anxiety Disorders since I was a child. You better consult with your doctor,it will get worse with the years because next step will be "Depression" and there is not cure [yet] for mental depression.
Depression is like a cancer,slowly will eat you up.DEPRESSION is the leading cause of disability worldwide, according to the World Health Organization. It costs more in treatment and lost productivity than anything but heart disease.We need a network of depression centers, much like the cancer centers.
Please consult with your doctor ASP,before is too late Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm pretty ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation. Habits take about 30 - 40 repetitions to become established, with most people.
Cease comparing yourself unfavorably with others, using the STOP sign: "I am a unique individual, with potential, and my own set of skills". Keep your head up, and look people in the eye, or on the bridge of their nose. See self esteem/confidence, in section 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and consider volunteering, even from home, at first. It will also provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I ..(insert activity here).." Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you.
Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at ezy-build also refer. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself". ~~~ Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609 http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this, as it has a good section on building self esteem, using a different approach.
1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.
2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.
3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.
4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tend to be more successful in their career.
5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)
6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.
7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation. [ AND MINE: USE THEIR NAME FOR A WHILE, OFTEN, AT FIRST, SO IT HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM SHORT TERM, TO LONG TERM MEMORY. FOR EXAMPLE: "What sort of things are you interested in, Obediah? I like archery, and train spotting, but am no longer combining the two." next: "I'm from Upper Volta, Obediah, Where are you from, originally?" READ SECTION 41, AT EZY BUILD, FOR MORE MEMORY TIPS.]
8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice鈥?br>
9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.
10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude. ~~~ Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are confident, and outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.
1. Like yourself
The first step in becoming more confident is to accept and like yourself. You should make a list of all your positive traits and strengths on a piece of paper or in your diary. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you too have praise-worthy qualities like others. You will like yourself and feel confident about yourself after this.
2. Attend Seminars
It is good if you attend seminars where professional speakers offer you tips and guidance on gaining confidence. During the speech, you can even pick up tips on public speaking from the speakers by watching their body language and the way they project themselves.
3. Motivate yourself
Whether it is for an interview or for a presentation, tell yourself that you can do it. Motivate yourself each day and soon you will find your confidence level growing. Another good way for motivation is that after work or study each day you should make a list of at least four things that you did well for that day.
4. Overcome fears
Some people always have a fear that they can never be successful in anything they do. Such insecurity will be a disadvantage and would cause you to lack confidence in yourself and in everything you do in your life. So in order for you to get rid of this fear you have to remind yourself that if you haven鈥檛 try something you can never say that you will fail in it. Be positive and try things without any fear or insecurity. For example at work your boss is asking you to head a team but you fear that you will make a mess out of it. Such a fear will prevent you from taking on that task at work. But if you were a confident person you wouldn鈥檛 think twice about failing and would gladly take on that task. This shows that a lack of confidence could also affect your career.
5. Accept Failures
If you are always crying over the mistakes that you made in your life, you will never get anywhere. Always remember that past mistakes and failures cannot be reversed and what鈥檚 done is done. Thus it is no use crying over spilt milk. A confident individual always looks past those failures in his life. After all, failures are just part and parcel of becoming successful. If you failed once you should take that failure as a learning lesson. ======================== ======================== ========================= ======================== Anxiety: see section 6 at ezy build; page N first. Depression: section 2; page Z.13, first. Stress: section 42; comprehensive post, first. Couples counselling? |
