And the home sickness i have suffered since 89 have taken their toll.
We cant afford to move back home.
Its a long story and i dont want to bore anyone or go into too much details,but im all alone,and went too and nearly jumped off a bridge yesterday,and wonder if the samaritans are any good?
I couldnt do it,as im basically a coward.
Will they think im stupid? Will they laugh at my trivial problems when the world is such a mess,my problems probably seem trivial to them. What do you think?
Please this is a heart felt plea can i ask for no sarcasm,or just jump answrers im in genuine pain here. I'm sorry to hear about this. I think it's worth calling them, sometimes it's good to get things off your chest. You would probably feel a lot better for it. A problem shared is a problem halved.
When I was bullied at school, I was at my lowest, I was so depressed and couldn't see a way out. It really does help to talk to others about your problems.
Your loved ones would be devastated if you ended your life. It's hard to think rationally when you're depressed, but try to see the good things in your life. Not sure what else to say, but I'll be thinking of you and I wish you all the best. Ive never actually rang them but Thats what they are there for, ring them. im so sorry your going through this, depression is such a bad thing to go through, i know from personal experience!
I k now you dont know me but your more than welcome to pm me on yahoo if you ever want to talk?
It sounds like your going through hell, have you got anyone there at home that you can talk to?
You shoulndt have to go through this alone! and im so sorry you are:(
please do talk to someone about this!
take care I dont talk to them as much as I used to now.
but in the past they have been very helpful, they wont offer advice they just lisen, which at times can b frustrating.They are there to listen ,not to judge you, talking things out will help you ,ask your Doctor to refer you, there really is no need to suffer alone. Haven't used samariatains, but have used similar help lines, no problem is trivial if its causing you upset, its how you feel that counts, call and take care no one who is there to help you will laugh at you or think you're stupid. i would recommend that you find some type of therapy that can help you find happiness. All they can do is talk and give you information.
What they cant do is wave a magic wand and make all your problems disappear. Ring them now, there are people there who will help and guide you in this time of trouble. Trust me on this one. They won't laugh at you. They know that your problems aren't trivial, they are your problems and they are as important as anyone else's.
Just phone them up. You won't bore anyone and you can go into as much detail as you feel comfortable with. It's all completely confidential.
I'm glad you couldn't jump off the bridge. It doesn't make you a coward, exactly the opposite is true.
When you have spoken to the Samaritans, perhaps you could speak to someone else about your problems. There is no need to feel ashamed of asking for help. Hi there, dont talk yourself out of getting help...and you are not a coward for not jumping off the bridge! That speaks to me of braveness and strength and that you are willing to give life another day...and another day....and another day.... just to see if it can get better....and that deep down you know that there is hope...
And there is hope....in only ONE person, the one who created us, our Lord God. If you have a bible turn to psalm 139 and read about how much He values you and cares for you.
Let Him in, turn to Him and he will heal your pain and make you feel whole and new.
Peace is what the world wants and searches for and only our creator can give us that peace and wholeness that we crave....and need...and bring meaning and purpose to our lives.
i will pray for you. Your problems are hardly trivial if you are feeling this way about them. That in itself is a heck of a problem.
Please, I hope you won't worry about whether other people will think you are stupid (though I know it's hard not to especially in depression -- I think our worries about how others view us is a large contributor to the deepening). One way to look at it is that you're not giving them credit (or the chance) to respond to you and in the way they will rather than the way you have decided they will. Anyone who wouldn't deal with this seriously has their own issues unrelated to you.
Our problems again are not trivial just because it is worse somewhere else. How we feel is very real and our perceptions are our realities. Often what we need is a gentle soul outside of us to see what we can't because we are too immersed. They can help us wade through. Help us see things from a different perspective and give us the courage to approach things from a new direction.
One that was very helpful to me is that we can't change other people, only ourselves. We get to make our choices about what is good for us and what we can handle and whether to continue to interact with someone but we can't make them different or behave in another way... except if we behave in a different way with them (that's often remarkably effective). That mindset adjustment can be very freeing.
So please do call, and do keep talking (not everyone clicks with everyone); that is exactly what The Samaritans are there for and they do not think anything that is distressing you is trivial.
Also, remember to breathe. Just breathe. Take deep, slow breaths in and release them in a relaxed way. This releases stress (which concentrates in our diaphram) and gets oxygen in to our brains opening up our thinking.
Finally, while you are working through all this, please go get some Vitamin D and start taking a 1000 IU a day. The vitamin is being discovered as very important and a deficiency not only is related to MS, cancer, arthritis, bone loss, and more but it's very important in depression (and body aches which often accompany sadness). It's a sunshine vitamin but when people are depressed they tend to hole themselves up rather than get more light. Nothing else has had a more profound effect for me than regular ingestion of D via supplements. I phoned them once, several years ago when I just felt I could not go on anymore. Personally I found the call a bit frustrating because they cannot give advice and are only really able to listen to what you have to say, so it may work in the short-term but, if you are anything like me, you need some answers about how to get through each day, not someone to listen to you talk. A friend may be a better option or would you consider counselling?
And no-one will laugh at your problems, who's to say they are trivial anyway, we all deal with life in our own way and you may have enormous strength in some areas of your life and feel totally weak and helpless in others. There is nothing wrong with this, please don't be so hard on yourself. And if people are judgemental well, frankly, that's their problem and not yours, do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, there is no need and no point.
All that matters at the moment is you, not the state of the world or anything else, just you, please remember that, you are the most important thing in your world, if you are ok, then everything else follows.
You need to take small steps to recovery. First of all if you need to cry well just let it happen, cry all day, cry for weeks but get it all out. I genuinely believe you have to feel all your emotions in order get through depression, because it won't go away on its own, as you know, and you need to work through it in order to conquer it.
I also think that no-one is given any challenge in life that they cannot overcome, and you will overcome this and the next thing and the next and you will be stronger and you will gain something from all of it. I know all this seems ridiculous because you are in such a dark miserable place right now that what the future holds is totally irrelevant but even the fact that you are acknowledging your predicament is a step towards recovery. I have suffered depression myself, as you may have guessed, and what helps me cope with it is that I consider the challenges I face in my life have been given to me and entrusted to me because I am able to overcome them and they are designed for me to make me who and what I am.
Please please seek help from either a professional or a friend but never ever feel alone the way you do, so many people suffer from depression and have recurring thoughts of suicide, you are not alone I promise you. Life has so much to offer, you just have to find a way to get out the other side and take it, and you will, but take your time and please put yourself and your needs first. |
