Help with alcoholic partner who also suffers depression!!!!?

Okay he has been to rehab three times before so they won't take him again. He really wants to get clean and stay clean this time. However he also suffers from depression. He keeps looking to me for support and I am doing the best I can but I don't know what else I can say or do. If anyone has any ideas please share them. I really could use the help.

OKay we both attend AA but they are a little to superficial for us. They preach a lot and that is a big turn off for both of us.

Also know that I am not making him get help. He wants it and I am just looking for some options that are open to someone who has been in rehab and relapsed to where the rehabs around here will not take him.

I was not there for the other relapses I am here now and trying my best to be a supportive person.

i two had an alchoholic partner that was depressed (they seem to go hand in hand). it was torture. It was painful to watch and experience what he was going through, but it was also painful becuase of the way that the treated me (quite abusive). I tried going to AA meetings for family members and loved ones for support (although he refused any and all help). I held on for two years and eventually had to let him go. It was just a self destructive relationship

I would say that as long as it seems promising that your partner can recover, maybe you can hang in there. But if it gets to the point that it is tearing you down. Than i would say move on...

The best thing to do is not let him be co-dependent on you. Remember he is already co-dependent on alcohol. He needs to learn how to fight this horrible battle on his own. Let him know you are there for him and you are counting on him to get better. Attend his AA meetings with him, be there to distract him, get him interested in different projects. My dad suffers for a drug addiction and after sooooo many years of being angry at him, I learned that I should appreciate him for who he is. We now have a relashionship and he seems to be doing better than ever.

You can;t force someone to get help if they don't truely want it. If he really wants help he'd make the effort. Talk to a doctor and give him the support you're willing to give. This isn't your problem. You can't fix it. He has to take te initiative and help himself. There are many support groups online and possibly in your town. Look into it. AlAnon is a support group for friends and family member of alcoholics and they're there to help. Google it or look for your local group. Good luck

He needs to go to AAA meeting with someone who cares.He needs the support and he is asking for it.It is not easy for an alcoholic as it is a drug itself and has destroyed many lives.Someone who goes to meetings would be good for him but he has to keep going.I hope he can get the help as he seems to want it so badly.You could go with him as it will help you to understand what he is going through and they may be able to help you deal with it better.I know someone who use to be an alcoholic and he has now been sober for many years now.You have to have the will power to want to change your life.

Get him to a mental health counselor. They treat both alcohoism and depression. They often go hand in hand. You can't make him get clean and he can't do it for you, only for himself----to get his life back. He knows all this. You need to go to Al-Anon to find out how others are dealing with it. Please take care. Don't make this problem you're whole life.

The best advice I have is to stop being an enabler for your partner. What makes this time different than the last three times.
That being said, look to other programs, there are alot of other rehab facilities including faith-based services that will take rehab failures.
Best of luck

Have him start with AA and go from there. They will support him and not leave it all to you. Also you need to go to a program as the partner of an alcoholic to understand how it's affecting you and how to care for yourself.

he has to really really want it he knows the tools it takes to get clean if hes been there three times... he needs to use them sorry if thats blunt but its true

Alcohol is a depressant. Treatment time!!!!!

sounds like you both need a holiday,hope you get the answers you need. best of luck

Hi bk, I would tell him to get some Mirtazapine, it is a very simple medication, that will help him with depression....
Alcohol is a depressant, trust me, I've been around many alcoholics.
You can't support an alcoholic, you'll become an enabler, don't do it...it's miserable.
He should try a therapist, and find out the source of his depression, because there is something eating at him, or he wouldn't drink so much, he wants to be drunk....so he feels nothing...
The people I've known that drink a lot, all have some terrible secret, that they cannot deal with...could be anything, death in the family, parents abused him, Uncle, or Aunt mean to him, but there is something...
I would just ask him, however, don't become his "therapist," it's his job to take responsibility for himself and get help.
You can do nothing until he takes that first step. Good Luck to both of you.