Will Depression sabotage my love life forever?

I've dealt with depression and self-esteem problems for years. I've seen several therapists, and although I've made progress, I've never been able to completely shake feelings of inadequacy in my relationships. My lack of confidence has destroyed relationships with amazing women that I wish I could have married. I'm 30 now, and fearing I'll never escape this pattern of self-sabotage.

It's hard to have hope. I'm aware on a cognitive level that my problems are all in my head, but my irrational fears always mess things up. Has anyone else dealt with this and found a way to successfully overcome it?

I think the number one thing you really need to do is find the hope you lost. Your depression and self-esteem problems are likely never going to go away completely, but that doesn't mean you're destined for a sabotaged love life.

The best thing I can suggest to you, is to always keep working on yourself. And, when you are with a woman that you like, let her know about your problems, sometimes, it can be easier if you have someone there who just understands you, and can be your rock when you are having a bad day/week.

You can find happiness, like I said, you need to know that there IS hope!

Fearing feelings is what sabotages your love life.

You're depressed because you fear to feel, that's the real dilemma.

A relationship isn't to make you happy but to help you know yourself better.

HUGE HUGS!!!

I don't have much confidence either, so I can't help you there. But you might want to try refocusing your thoughts away from yourself, and onto the women you're interested in. I say this because I get VERY self concious, scared, and sad about EVERYTHING until I concentrate on the people I'm around and block everything else out, then I'm able to handle things at least a little better.

I don't know, though. If this is a pattern with you, there might be some reward in it for you. Ask yourself if there's something about sabotaging relationships that you're liking. When I was younger I used to sabotage friendships because I'd like feeling wanted and valued when people would ask what was wrong or if we could be friends again, but then I guess I grew out of that when I realized the truth of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "As you sew so shall you reap" and that true friends are just too valuable and rare to be treated like that.

I think you'll be okay. (I can't tell you whether or not you'll marry) Just make sure you pray about it, wait for an answer and then trust and follow God's leading-- He won't lead you astray.

Praying for you!