Chronic depression? Is there something wrong with me?

Ever since I can remember I've always been depressed since I was like 5 years old(i know really young) I didn't know what it was until I go much older(17 now). Lately I've just bee feeling very moody and extremely sad much more than usual. The problem is I don't seem to know exactly why. I've been through alot of emotional and verbal abuse as a child. I was always told I was ugly and the fatter I get the uglier I get and how all my other family members are skinny and I am the only fat one and that I'll never get a boyfriend. sometimes I use to think my siblings were ashamed of me because of the way I look and I was also called the odd ball and I just kept in all built up inside and haven't said a thing. I would just put on a smile every day like things were cool and would be very quiet. Now that I am older I feel like all that supressed hurt and anger is comming out. I don't even talk to most of my brothers and sister, but thats for other reasons. I just don't know anymore.

What I went through as a child abuse?

I want a boyfriend, but there are days I don't feel very pretty. My mood shifts some days I think I am and some not.

How can I stop my mood swings and depression? I just want to be happy and pretty. I don't have any friends i feel like they are just using me.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said :
" Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."

So in learning to like and accept ourselves, we give ourselves two gifts.
The first and most important is that we become our own unconditional friend.
The second is that the friendships we share with others are true friendships, true meetings of the heart,

Learning to like yourself is paramount in the ability to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life. It means that you have set yourself free from the need for approval from others, even love from certain others.

Learning to love yourself usually means unlearning to dislike bits about yourself. It may be the way you look, etc

Whatever the reason or reasons we don't like ourselves, there are steps we can take to change this situation.

Sometimes the reasons are deep-seated.It has gone on for so long that we don't really even know when it started. We can't remember an existence without it. All we know is that we are left with this legacy of self-loathing.

Maybe we believed something that someone once told us about ourselves when we were very small and did not have the skills to logically think about whether that statement was true or false. Nevertheless, like an automaton, we still believe this lie to this very day

Counseling can assist in identifying, then destroying negative beliefs that are simply not true.

Meanwhile, write down all the things about yourself that you do not like. Ask yourself: Who told you this? This simple exercise can be a starting point towards a happier future

You need to get some help and talk to someone about your feelings ect. You would feel so much better. Get things off your chest and not keep building things up. There's nothing wrong with you except you need a little help dealing with private things. No big deal. There's help out there and it works! Good luck.

Talk to your best friend about it, and as soon as you're 18 and have a job go into therapy.

God will always see you as beautiful and will always love you for who you are.

HAVE YOU GONE ON MEDS ITS PROBALY CHEMICAL IMBALENCE

ok im 21 and still on your boat. i tried st. johns wart you can find at any health food market and eat loots of food rich in vitamin B6. this will help with some of the downess. for your swings, try walking around the block, even just that short, when you feel that urge to get up and just yell, or feel violent. (sorry about my bad spelling). also once youve started doing this try keeping a diary of how you felt each day and what you did so you can see if their is a pattern or a trigger to your outbursts. also keeping a diary help you with noticing your improvement that you might just miss or overlook if you just went through it day to day. once you have been feeling better, you will feel more like letting yourself loose a bit so you can meet that pearson that you want. but when it comes to dating, you need to remember to just be your self. you want them to like the person, not the persona. plus guys like it when a girl know what she looks like and likes it, with a big smile. guys are attracted to personality, looks are an added bonus. let them find what they like, instead of picking what they should. i hope this has helped a bit. and like i said im right there, so if you feel a lil funny im usualy always on, for any help or a cheer up. just remember to breath, we all live, and we all die.

You have to like and be comfortable with yourself first. People suck, I've had my share of bad situations. But you can't let them dictate your life. I don't really have friends either so I'm just working on myself. Exercise, do things you enjoy doing and see a therapist if need be just so you have someone to vent to. You don't need a boyfriend to come rescue you, you need to do it yourself. Take baby steps, you're 17, are you going to college? Knowing what you want to do with your life, may help, regardless if its getting a good job, publishing a book(me!) or whatever. And yeah, I don't know either, honestly, but I'm trying any way.