Depression and my pushy boyfriend?

My boyfriend constantly doubts that i will ever help myself breakout of my depression. Instead of patronising me and pushing when i'm not ready, he should let me do things when i'm ready, at a pace i can cope with. He says he moans at me to hurry up with getting better because i will only get free education until im 19, im completely aware but im simply not ready to go back into education. I love this guy and he says he loves me and i believe him, hes just not making loving him easy. I don't know how you can help me some words of advise might be of use to me, or some ideas of how to break out of depression. I'm already seeing a countseller, im going to this convidence building place and i've got my self an exercise plan so im doing something. Thank you.

Well im not prepared to leave the guy, i was going to kill myself before i met him and he gave me something to live for. Then the otherday he said that he was going to kill himself until i gave him something to focus on, i really don't know what to make of this. He calls me emo and says i moan too much, i agree.

Ignore that last answer from MEE. He is just feelingsorry for himself and unlike you probably complains and moans instead of doing something about his own life.

Anyway, I'm 28 and have had severe depression since i was about 17 so I know quite a lot about it.

You're not going to like this answer but these things take time, you can't rush them. It's not like you can put a plaster on it. You can't 'hurry up and get better', and to think that you can is unconstructive and unhelpful.

My ex girlfriend was like your boyfriend. She even said once 'have you tried just NOT being depressed?'
You need to go at your own pace and if you know you're not ready then you're not. I think you need to explain to him that unless he is willing to support you, care for you and give you his love no matter what, then you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he may nt be right for you. He just sounds a bit immature to me and i don't think that he is helping your state of mind. Although saying that a golden rule of depression is that you never leave your partner when you are really depressed cos you may regret it later on.

Healthy diet and regular exercise did a lot more for me than medication and theapy and i no longer take meds or talk to any professionals. I still have really bad days but as long as you recognise them for what they are and try to do something that willl make you feel better like seeing friends, going to the movies or whatever makes you happy.

Depression is a really personal illness, and don't ever forget that it is an illness and a treatable one at that. You may break out of your depression sooner, later or never, the one piece of advise i want you to listen to is that it is the way you deal with it day to day more than a question of when.
Avoid alcohol, it will make you feel worse and have a long talk with your boyfriend.

Hope this helps, and again don't listen to that MEE guy, he just feels sorry for himself.

I think you're already doing everything that you can to help yourself. If your boyfriend can't see that, maybe you should think about whether he actually does love you, as you are and not as he'd like you to be. Changing yourself for someone else is seldom worthwhile and doesn't work in the long run. Good luck with it all.

I am glad that you are getting professional help. One of the problems with depression is the pervasive feeling of helpless and hopelessness. Your boyfriend 's desire for control can deepen the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Try to focus on how you will recover not please him or anyone else for that matter.

Good for you in getting help. it will take a while but you'll get there if your ready and willing to.

As for your boyfriend he isn't good for you. he isn't supporting you or giving you help in the way you need. love has nothing to do with this at all. He is making your life difficult on top of what you are going through already. best to step back away from him and focus on making developments on yourself and your life. good luck n take care

Whilst your not well you need to have your own space. Your boyfriend appears to be hindering your recovery rather than helping it. If I were you I'd ask him for some space so you can get well and when your strong enough then you can let him back into your life. The way he's going he's going to push you away anyway. Hope you get well soon.

if you really want to know i think you should spend time with out a boyfriend and when your better then think of getting a boyfriend not now i think hes a no help to you at all at the moment believe me one who's been through it I'm 55 old woman and been there

ur lucky u have someone that loves u.
i dont think u realise how lucky u actuali are. im gna b 20 and iv neva been loved. or liked even. think about that.

he doesnt sound like a very good person to turn to. I think if you really feel like hes pushing you too far your should make your relationship with him history!

I know exactly what you are feeling right now!!! Being pushed into anything before your ready is never really good (at times it can be but not so much) and yes he has the right idea in mind to help you. but he needs to understand to some extint that you gotta go at your own pace. Yes education is good, but you gotta work with yourself and figure out what is right for you and what isnt. But it sounds like you are already doing that by seeing someone, excersise plan, etc. So he needs to understand that you are doing something about it, and this is something that needs time, but that you are working with yourself!! I just went through the same thing almost, and i found it was in my best interest to leave him, but that was my choice, that doesnt mean its the right thing for you, so dont think that i am suggesting you do it. Like i said its about doing what feels right to you. I tried and tried working with my ex over it, but it was never enough for him. So ya, i wish you the best of luck and your not alone with feeling the way you do!! Keep up the good work!

I sort of know how you are feeling at the moment. I have been suffering from depression for a while and yesterday I was REALLY low. I have been seeing someone and I just had to say to him, 'look, I'm not well right now and I can't deal with being in a relationship right now because there are so many things I need to sort out first'. So we are now 'on a break'. I'm not telling you to break up with him but just sharing my experience. I found that I only have limited resources emotionally and I need to build myself up first before I can be part of a couple.

How to get over depression? First it is good that you are seeing professionals to help you. I do believe that it is a combination of a negative mindset PLUS a chemical imbalance that causes depression. The counsellor will help you get out of the mindset, the exercise will help physically. Good for you. Do some research and talk to your doctor about antidepressents, they are a good temporary crutch to help you out of a hole. I have talked to a couple of good friends who have had depression and they have been very supportive. Also make sure you are eating well.

A very good book to help you is 'the feeling good handbook' by David Burns. Give it a chance, it really helps you 'get over it'.

I'm still not better but I am getting there. take it at your own pace. Doing further education at this stage, even though it is free would probably cause even more stress and you could end up flunking out like I did and having to redo everything later.