Depression and alcoholism, really BPD?

5mos ago I was diagnosed with depression and began meds+therapy. 3mos ago I joined AA and since, my other problems are becoming more pronounced. I go from hating myself to dismissing everyone around me because I am better than them. My past/current friendships and relationships are consistently unstable, going from one extreme to another (love/hate), never inbetween. I am terrified of my boyfriend leaving me even though I do not want to be with him yet I keep giving him reasons to do so. I impulsively spend, steal, binge/purge/diet, have sex, clean. I have several therapsists, counselors, sponser, etc who I present with the same problems until I have an answer I am satisifed with. I am constantly bored and find myself looking but I don't know what for. I don't know who I am as a person, what I want, etc. and my friends, relationships, ideals, appearance change regularly. I have a very hard time sleeping alone, not having physical contact, etc. I have a feeling I may have BPD.

RE: BPD, referring to borderline personality disorder.

I do not feel as if I am bipolar, for the most part I am quite passive. Currently I am taking Prozac and Wellbutrin and these have helped significantly with my depression/energy levels. Thinking back to the emotionally unstable mess I was 6 months ago, I would say I have improved; however, I believe I have only relieved the depression aspect.
RIGHT NOW, life is just fine; I woke up this morning it is a beautiful day I am looking forward to spending some time in the sun. If something undesirable were to happen though, my entire sense of wellbeing will vanish. My emotional state is determined by whatever external event has just occurred and often this means a complete loss of all hope/happiness for sadness, anger, etc. As soon as the problem has resolved itself in my mind, life returns to normal and I often don't think that there is anything wrong with this behaviour, that it is just how I have adapted to life.

Sounds like some mania...I would say you are probably bipolar or have lesser form, cyclothymia. You should tell a doctor or therapist about your manic symptoms so you can get a proper diagnosis. Bipolars often self medicate as you did with alcohol. Also bipolars are more likely to be misdiagnosed with depression. Seek some professional help.

I'm not sure how old you are but generally BPD will be diagnosed in your early 20's; however, it can be diagnosed later in life. Have you been referred to a psychiatrist for medication assessment and/or to a psychologist for psychological testing? You need a therapist who can set good boundaries with you. Keep away from the alcohol self-medicating is never a good idea.

It could be that your problems are becoming worse because you are not dulling your emotions with alcohol. When I became sober I had to deal with reality and figure out how to live life in a normal way. People who haven't had an addiction might not understand that. I think you should seek out a recommended psychiatrist who can diagnose you. None of the things you are doing sound normal. You might need medication.

it depends on your drinking if u dranked everyday and u suddenly stop u are going to have symptoms.of the alcohal.i think your in the begging of depression get something to calm you down or you are going to get worse like getting panic attack-severe insomia. i am going through this now so good luck.

Sounds like you're using it as an excuse now to do what you like, you never said what age you are?? but you sound like you feel you're living beneath yourself and think you're destined for better... maybe you are.

The way you describe it, I agree. . . I think. Are you saying Bi-polar or borderline personality disorder? I see a strong argument for bipolar disorder and if that's what you are seeing, I agree. The going from hating yourself to dismissing everyone around you because you are better than them and impulsivity is total bipolar. You need one therapist who is specifically trained in dealing with the bipolar population and your meds then need to be geared toward treating bipolar disorder. This will stop the swinging from the deep depression to the impulsivity, the unstability in your relationships, the changing ideals, appearances, etc. A bipolar individual can become stable, there is hope and don't ever give up. You may have to make a few changes in your medical professionals who are treating you though. I'm sorry you have to go through this, this is certainly no way to live. I hope you can get some help and feel better. I am here to talk if you need me.