Depression? I need someones opinion.?

im 20yrs old and I am super shy. I have maybe 2 friends that I actually call close friends. Here in the past couple of months i've been keeping to myself. Sitting in my room all day. Reading, watching tv, playing video games, anything to keep me occupied. I always try to look my best but when I do I don't think that I look very good. And i'm not one to worry about what people think of me its just I cant stand to be judged. but thats going to happen regardless. Anyways. I don't leave the house but maybe once a week and everyone told me to get a job it would help. but it didnt i recently had to quit because it was putting further into whatever it is i'm in. I feel like i'm in a dark place these days and I cant seem to get out of it. I hate myself and everyone around me. I'm attending college and I still have no idea what I want to be. I feel as if I am nothing. completley worthless. I feel this way all the time. I don;t trust anyone enought to talk with them. I cant afford a shrink.help?

I also feel as if noone really knows me or understands me...and i also feel that I will die alone because noone could ever like me....seriously...give me your opinions or maybe some words of encouragement.

View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.

Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.

Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave.

People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".

Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger.

Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people.

Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk.

Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes". Valerian has also been recommended, but some people experience "valerian hangovers". Ensure you know how you react to it, before doing something potentially dangerous, like going out on the roads. The idea is to use the above like water wings, to provide initial, short term support, while you become proficient in the above techniques.

Re-program your emotional responses. Hate is a strong term; reduce it to: "I dislike myself, and my life, at present". This allows for the possibility of change. Realise, and accept that YOU are the one who programmed your mind, and that YOU have the ability to re-program it.

See the tips at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2, particularly those in the mental-health-abc and conquering stress websites. Use the negative thought reprogramming technique, and read page 2L. Recognise, and challenge your negative monologue (self talk). Make a conscious commitment to being positive, and optimistic, even if it is apparently unrealistic, or inappropriate, because of the benefits it will provide, later on.

WORK, to change yourself into someone you can think much better of. See sections 38, and 47, and volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I (insert activity here)". As one insightful (paraphrasing poetically) person put it: an affirmation, without foundation is just mental masturbation.

Read: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D. 2001, New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674 Shattuck Avenue, Oakland. CA 94609 http://www.amazon.com/ may be worth trying for this, as it has a good section on building self esteem, using a different approach. You can also learn to use the EFT, in section 53, several times daily: "Even though I dislike my current life situation, I deeply and completely accept myself". Consider taking up yoga, or t'ai chi.

Depression is addressed in section 2, at ezy build: view page R first: there is a depression quiz via sections 1, or 2: print the result, and visit your college counselor. There are many free, or inexpensive, but highly effective treatments you can employ: Omega 3, exercise, St. John's wort, occupational therapy, journalling, relaxation methods, and so on.

http://www.anxiety-and-depression-soluti...

http://www.revolutionhealth.com/conditio...

http://www.healthcentral.com/depression/...

You may want to speak with a school counselor.
If you live in the dorms, an RA. Something. Someone will listen. With you being in college, if this situation isn't fixed, it could just get even worse.


Good luck :)

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College counselors are free. Please discuss with them.

Your college should have someone you can talk to for free. Depression is very, very common, and there will be resources for you.

If you talk to a counselor and they think you need additional help, you can go to a regular GP to get prescribed an anti-depressant. Be sure to ask them about side effects, ask for the lowest effective dose, etc. Never take any medication without knowing everything about it. But it may be a good option for you right now.

Most importantly, remember that it WILL get better. I promise. Someday you'll feel good again and enjoy life. But you need to take action to get there.

Good luck. If you want to message me, you can.

Hi hon... if you are 20 years old and a college student, then you should be able to get free or low cost help from your COUNTY mental health clinic. Contact your health department if there is no telephone number listed for a county mental health service.

Depression and anxiety are not fun to live with. i know and understand well. I've worked for years to feel better, and i'm finally coming around.

Depression can be a serious illness, as you know. Please help yourself. You deserve it.

Being a young man you are gonna have these feeling about what i want to be or who am i. I understand the painful shy stuff too. First off their is no one out there perfect!! Some times our worst enemy is our self and why?? Do you live with your parents?? You can still get some medical benefits for your self from social services. Being shy is not a bad thing. You can observe people more. Me personally I like my alone time, there is some real ignorance out there and I need a break from the world. People have told me at times I need to talk more and I said no I don't cause then I would sound like you guys who talk without thinking and you sound stupid!! You guys might as well suck on your toes cause your foot is in your mouth alot!!(LOLS) You are only 20, don't try and expect to have your whole life figured out!!!

wow , i was finally over these feelings and they're back after you reminded me of them

look , the best thing to do for you now is to find something that keeps you bussy , you may feel like you don't want to , and that your just too tired , but try to get over it by thinking positively , you are unique , and all you feel is normal , it's some chimichal stuff in the brain are mixed up or something . FIND HOPE , look for it , hope for the good , believe me that works.
one last thing , all these feelings you feel about your self are not true , i felt worse than this , but when i get better i think "what the hell was i thinking!"

Maybe it's your friends, or lack of. Stop downing yourself out about no one liking you because there are 6 billion people on this earth, I'm pretty sure you'll find some who like you. Get out of your house more, jog around the block or just excersize. When you're home alone call someone and see what they're doing or if they want to do something with you. If not, then go out on the town and meet people, yeah it's scary but so is sitting by yourself for four hours with nothing to think about but how you look in the mirror or how you have this annoying habit or that little flaw. It's not healthy.

Hi there, you sound like a good person and friendly too, you may have low self esteem, you should try and get it up again, i think you just need to open your self up a little bit... gain some courage and walk through the streets happy for who you are and what you are and dont worry about what everyone else is thinking about you that is just what you assume that people always have something negative and that is VERY wrong... just look at yourself when you see people in the street, i dont think you even care about what they look like... same goes to you.. you have family and those 2 friends that care about you and love you for who you are.....and thats all that matters....
try and go out more often even if its a walk in the park... because sitting in that room for a whole week without going anywhere is definitely NOT healthy... Look after yourself...
i wish you all the best in your future and ENJOY Life... :)

Is there something behind this? It sounds to me you are depressed. Sometimes talking to someone or crying just helps. I'm personally going through depression. I lost my fiance about a year and a half ago to cancer. I'm also having a hard time at work with people gossiping about me, etc... I'm realizing who my real friends are and when it comes down to it it's like 2. I also started dating this guy because I kept listening to everyone to go out and meet guys. Well it ended up this guy broke my heart, which didn't help any if anything made things worse. I would suggest talk to someone, don't get pushed or rushed into doing something you're not comfortable, or ready. I obviously wasn't ready to date and now I think I feel worse now because I blame myself. I think he didn't like me, I wasn't good enoug. But talking to someone helps just trust on me on that one......I know!

alright.
get a job. make some money. join a gym. or go running every night/ day at the same time so you feel like you have something to do at that point of the day. go to a bar, a club talk to some girls or guys (whatever your interested in), get their number, ask them out a few days later. live your life!!!

eventually once you start GIVING yourself a purpose & only YOU can do this. you'll gradually start feeling happy. it'll start out only some days you'll fall asleep smiling, but eventually you'll be brushing your teeth, getting ready for something, making dinner, you'll seriously look at yourself in the mirror, or just smile to urself and just be like "woah i love my life"