My depression is back with a vengence?

My mind has thought about suicide and today I cut for the first time, it felt good. I took some pills earlier today and now fell sober. I am scared. I take my medicine regularly, i see my psyhiatrist and pshycologist, why and the hell is this happening again

I am normally the highest of the high in spirits when it comes to personality. and over the past few years my life has consistently downward spiraled to the point where now I am fighting severe depression. Usually the one to cheer everyone else up, I know what its like to wallow in depression. Its not embarrassing, but you need to get a grip on things; whatever you do to hurt your ownself WILL.NOT.I repeat. WILL.NOT. make you or anyone else feel better. The way to fight depression is to do something of its exact opposite. Do something that exercises your will to "be." Join a club, volunteer, help others. Go on a vacation with family and friends, or go by yourself. Go to church. If think you are having trouble with life and want to die, simply live more. the more things that get thrown my way, the more I absolutely fight back at them and focus on something else to keep me going. Curveballs in life called men or women can sometimes work against you. The cure for that is register for school. take a few classes, take control of your own being. Most people who contemplate suicide don't actually expect to die. They want the pain to end, and they usually want someone to stop them before they do it. Thats why you have so many people saying I'm going to kill myself, and telling people over and over before they actually do it, they want someone to give them a solution....which is why I presume you have posted this question. You are not alone. If you cut your self to deep or do something worse, you will die. And no one can save you from that. I dont know how religious your are or what you are affiliated with. Christian religion believes that if you take the power of life in your own hands you will not be forgiven. I dont think you want to deal with that at the pearly gates. So what you have to take into account is that you are feeling pain. you want help. you want the pain to stop, and you want someone to reach out to you. Baby, we can do what we can thru the computer, but you have got to trust your psyhiatrist and your psychologist enough to let them know what is going on with you right this minute. You need to call their office and speak to someone at the after call hour line let them know you have an emergency. I am not equiped to discuss if it has to do with the type of meds that you are on or not, nor do I have enough info. I have known more than one person that has killed themselves. At the beginning, everyone is shocked sad wished they could have helped. After that, everyone moves on with their own lives. Because they cant live normal lives feeling guilt and shame for someone else. So you see, you may get the temporary attention that you wont even be here to see, but that passes. Don't worry about being embarrased. Your family may or may not be equipped to handle depression, or know what to do or say easily. I went to see my own counselor today for the first time actually, the woman next to me and my husband had her thirteen year old kid next to her. She was calling his doctor asking for an emergency prescription for his meds, as he is bipolar. The thing is they werent ashamed, she talked as loud as she wanted to, CAUSE she knew whatever everyone else in the room was there for, it was something similar. We all have unique experiences that contribute to why we feel how we feel, but depression is something that everyone deals with at one time or another. I would like to offer you to take a walk thru a park or on a sidewalk on a street that is not busy. you have to take some control too, now. yOU CANT just stay in your house cooped up. Talk with your pastor, there is a whole congregation waiting, just waiting for the chance to do some good and welcome someone into their lives. Or even just step outside breath the air, dont wallow in self loathe and pity. I know because I am starting to have to fight with the same issues. Everyone has toyed with thoughts of suicide, I say toyed because in our complicated lifes, suicide seems to be one of the few things that we do have control over.Suicide in our minds is a way to take back some of that control and get acknowleged. Really I think we just want someone to listen to me, acknowledge that I need help. In my case
It took us two weeks to get to the counselor. like I said we just went today.you take care. be safe

try not to cut again.It'll be hard to stop.Take advice from people that have done it and stopped,it's like a drug.Suicide isn't easy either.there is help please hang in there.get help with therapy or antidepressants or listen to some inspirational songs.Some songs i have to listen to when I'm depressed and relate to cutting and depression are:

ZOEgirl-Scream(can relate to anyone who battles with depression and suicide)
Plumb-cut
Between the trees-The way she feels(talks about when someone finds out and they're supportive and the pain someone goes through)
Between the trees-A time for yohe
Gary Jules-Mad world
Papa roach-Scars
plumb-In my arms

they are about depression and are inspirational for hanging in there or getting help

This is happening because the problems we deal with are persistent. STOP cutting. It does not feel good. And you will really regret it after you have the problems under control. Like a year or two from now you will really regret having a bunch of scars from cutting yourself, and you will be embarassed. So just don't do it now. Call your Pscyhiatrist and psychologist and tell them it is an emergency and you need to talk to them. Openly talk with them.

i have bipolar disorder and i dont take medication i think cuting your self is just for attention and so people no how bad you are you may need strong medication if you dont listen and go to the doctors then the depresion will stay you can either live with it or you can get help there is no point cuting please dont stupid my sister used to do it it is realy for attention stop the nonsence

hope i helped xx

Honestly man dont think of depression its the worst thing ever. Just get some friends hang out and have some fun. Life has its ups and downs,but killing yourself will not make any differece. Enjoy the good things in life. Like girls, parties, and more such as kids and a family. I strongly recommended you let your parents know this. They love you and care for you even if you dont believe it they will always be there I know becuse of personal exp. Later chill have fun :)

I think is because of not believing in your own power to have control over your own feelings.
Try to think with powerful happy thought, always try to smile. Smiling is the cure to you disorder.
I hope all the best for you. Good luck.

Medications can tend to stop working, or need to be adjusted. Sometimes othere medications can interfere. You need to call your doctor and let them know what is going on, we want you to be safe.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, sounds to me your laking attention so wake up to your self get of the drugs and get a life or shut up and get on with it.

instead of just cutting yourself, you could cut a little smiley face to remind you that there are better days...

Pills Doctors Wont help you Get over this it's all really in you,the cure is you.

you should go back to the docter NOW - straight away!