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| *Women health>>>Depression |
Does depression cause a person to pick fault out of another person? |
My mom and I used to be best friends, now however, when we talk we fuss. I miss our friendship, but don't know what to do to get it back. Her brother killed himself next month will be 3 years ago and she's not even remotely getting over it. When I say something that she doesn't like or agree with, she gets really defensive and points out something bad about me. Sometimes she goes back to when I was a teenager, I'm 24years old now. I think that should be history. People who have depression will sometimes go on the defense with those closest to them, hoping that by dregging up negative things will make that person feel as sad and misearable as they do, then they dont feel so alone. Most of the time when people are very depressd or in a maniac state they arent even aware of just how negative they are being and how much there words hurt others. Your mom also may be bringing up things from when you were younger(even though negative) b/c she remembers that time as a happier time in her life and also a time when her brother was alive. On a final not, if you see mood swings in your mom that tend to span anywhere from 2-3 weeks to 2-3 months or more where she seems happy and ok to feeiling very run down and depressed, she should probably check things about being bipolar. A few good meds also would be wellbutron,paxil, zoloft, and prozac, for stronger stuff you would start looking at risperdal, seraquel, zyprexa and a few others. Hope this helps and good luck to you, i go through alot with my mom too. Source(s): I work with mentall ill and mentally retarded. Yes , its like misery loves company . They want you to feel what they are feeling Your mom should seek help, grief is a normal process except when it over stays it's welcome When your self-esteem is really low, you don't like yourself very much and so you do and say things to isolate yourself from other people - it protects you from getting too close because you feel so vulnerable. No, your mother shouldn't go back to reviewing things you did when you were a teenager. I think she's having an adjustment - getting used to you being grown and not a child any more. Could she also be having "empty nest syndrome"? Meaning, have all the children grown up and left home. That does tend to leave one with depression, basically a feeling of not being needed any more. When you've spent most of your life defining yourself as a mother, you tend to be lost when that's not your main job any more. Try to keep your chin up and be positive. Hopefully, this is just a phase she's going through. (I raised 4 children and went through empty nest syndrome and survived - at least I think I did.) LOL Your mother will never get over the loss of her brother. Everyone is different when it comes to how long the healing process takes and three years is not a long time. Hopefully, at some point in time she will remember more of the good memories of him and feel less sadness. Your mother is probably feeling a lot of things about the loss of her brother. Guilt and anger are two of the feelings that are part of the grieving and healing process. It is normal to feel anger when a loved one dies, especially if it is unexpected. She may be angry at him just because he is gone, in addition she may be angry that he did what he did. Your mother may be feeling that she should have known somehow that he was going to do this and that she could have prevented this which, is not true but none the less how she may be feeling. She may be subconsciously pushing you away out of fear that something might happen to you. It might be helpful if you tell her how you feel. That you miss the relationship you had and you want to try to get that relationship back on track. Tell her you miss her brother too but you don't want the loss of him to turn into another loss (the friendship you and your mother shared). Your uncle would not have wanted that either. I don't think that she should bring up the past either but the only thing you can do is tell her she is doing that and it is not helping the situation between you two either. |
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