Heartache vs depression?

I don't know that I've ever been depressed before but I'm having a hard time discerning between going through losing someone I loved versus depression. She and I were together two years before she left me for the man she was cheating on me with and ended up engaged to him 2 weeks after we split (yeah I know that means she had to be emotionally cheating on me for awhile - they met via internet and he lived two states away). The long list of deceit and lies are plentiful and the betrayal stings even more because when we first got together she confided in me that she had been cheated on and abused in previous relationships...I thought she understood how that felt and would be less likely to do it to someone else, I was wrong. Also it stings because we moved to this city because I didn't want to move her away from her child (child is with her father who has custody - she and I never had kids together, glad we didn't)...had I known leaving the ONE kid she could see didn't matter to her (she has another child that she couldn't see because of distance and financial reasons), then I could have moved where I wanted to move when I transitioned out of the military. Tried to be a good guy and consider the relationship with the one kid that lived 20 minutes from us but I was wrong about that too. It's been about a year and I feel as though I'm still going through the pain and I feel it's partially because we still communicated via phone and e-mail when I should have cut contact (you know feeding me the "I miss you" and "I still love you" and "Maybe we can be together in the future" lines - telling me stuff she felt like I wanted to hear really). I don't have any friends here, don't really know anyone here other than the people I work with (much older crowd) and I don't have the most outgoing personality as I've always been called shy. I have a good paying job (received three raises since she left) and these type of paying jobs in my field are far and few in between back at home where my family and friends are. Is there anyway to tell if you are just going through a heartbreak or if you're depressed? It's been a year now since it all happened and I can't really tell.

Apologies this is so long.

It's not easy moving on with or without her in your life, but it is ultimately BETTER to cut her off. It's gonna take a while before you even believe that breaking the communication is better, but as long as you don't give in, you're putting yourself in a position of personal growth. I know how you must feel because I feel that pain constantly. I'm not a mental expert, but if you are at the point where you don't even feel like talking to anyone or willing to enjoy life, you very well could be depressed. All I can recommend is that you get out there in the dating pool, find distractions by finding someone new. No more "hi how are you" to her--she loves that attention that she no longer deserves from you.

She might've been cheated on, but it didn't justify her making the same mistake and then having the nerve to break your heart and try to keep you on a chain. You can do better--you will do better when YOU make those steps. It's not in her power--don't even blame her anymore because she's not with you. You are now in control. You can start new, meet someone who isn't her.