What's a typical day like for you?
i never thought someone would think about how a person like me feel every single day. as for me, i always feel like i'm alone... whenever my friends ask me to go out with them or join them for lunch, i don't feel like coming. i always have an excuse. it is because i always feel that no one is enjoying my company, and i don't want to disappoint anyone (imagine they were very eager to ask you out, and then you'll just make them bored) that's what i always feel. whenever i walk in school, i always pass the way w/ less people because there's a less possibility of encountering my friends. so they won't see me and think i'm a loner. sometimes i meet a person, whom i thought i have the same experiences or characteristics, but ends up realizing they're not. i always think that meeting someone like me, gives me comfort and security that i'm not alone. but just like what i've said, no one is so i feel i'm alone... and i also think how could i find someone like me if they're also hiding their selves like me..
it is very depressing to feel this way, specially seeing groups of people when i'm alone. it really lowers my self esteem more.. i'm also thiking of how they could get well with others while i can't... so sad.. :C |
