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| *Women health>>>Depression |
Can a person find love if they suffer from anxiety and depression? |
Hi, I am a 25 year old male who suffers with anxiety and depression. My main goal in life is to sort out all the problems I have and get my life back on track. Because I have been let down a lot in the past I had to deal with so many problems I do not know where to begin. When I was at school I was bullied and occasionally beaten. However, as many people in my position would have told somebody about what was going on I did not. I thought I could deal with the problems myself, however, I could not and it is a regret I still live with today. The bullying did not stop after school, it continued to go on through college, even my first job. When I left my first job and started at my second job, the bullying stopped. However, I became so insecure by then I suffered with paranoia and panic attacks because I constantly worried about what people thought about me. After that job ended I just did not have the courage to find another one so I shut myself off from the world. I got depressed, moody and just ate and ate. I also would not talk to anyone at that time, even my own family. After nearly a year of not doing anything with my life I realized I needed help, I do not know how I managed it but I went to see the doctors and told him about my problems. He then referred me to the mental health clinic, however, they felt I was not that bad and they referred me to I.V.S. the Independent Visitors Scheme and they paired me up with a volunteer once a fought night just to get me out of the house. When I first started going out I really found it difficult being around public crowded places and my panic attacks got worse. A while after that I decided to do a computer course. Although I feel I have a long way to go I manage to work two part time volunteer jobs, as I am on incapacity benefits. And I am looking forward to one day having a full time paid job. Right now though I am just taking one day at a time. I have also decided to go and see a counsellor and have just recently started seeing them for one on one sessions and then group therapy with people who have been in the similar position as me. It has also affected my love life, in fact I do not even have a love life thanks to my anxiety and depression. I often wonder if I ever will. It has also affected my sex drive as I am still a virgin and have never been interested in sex. I know you will say that is because of the medication I am on, but the fact is I am not on any medication. The doctor felt I did not need it. Will my sex drive come back? Will I be able to have a love life as I am not interested in sex and suffer from anxiety and depression? Surround yourself with positive people who are supportive and not patronising. Keep doing your computer course and when you have achieved that, learn something else. Motivate challenge yourself, set goals that keep you reaching onwards and upwards. Accept that there will be 'bad days' and prepare yourself mentally by having positive-affirming mantra like 'This too will end' or 'I'll get through this' & learn to believe in this. We can blame others only so much for the way they treat us but being kinder to yourself is a decision that only YOU have control over. Of course it's not easy but through application & practise you will build up the 'inner' strength. take care of the big things, the little things fall into place. The most intimate relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself & if you don't have that solid cornerstone, any subsequent relationship will be based on a rocky foundation. Don't get into a relationship to make you happy or to take refuge in, it'll just end up in some sort of dependancy & cripple your progress. You have the courage to do these things, you've shown it by talking about your issues and getting some sort of help and that takes a lot of balls. Good luck. It WILL be alright. :-) dont worry about what other people think, you should just be yourself, and so what if they say something it probably means that they are jealous or wish they had a better life than you but dont know you.. forget the other people, focus on urself, im sure ur a nice guy, let people know how nice u are and things that u have to offer, hey you just might get rich and married.. be better than the enemy I have read your case history and I can only suggest a relationship with pets. The torment has gone too far. if peter andre can find love then anyone can All your body is doing is reacting to the situations that it is not famailiar with. When your on the right track it seems you have more attacks and this is true because your body has been "programmed" to deal with things a certain way. Almost like trained. When you're bullied or lower you probably feel OK.. when your doing something on your own, It's different and weird and your body recognizes that and puts you into panic mode.. It takes time but once you do a little something different every day you'll be fine. also there's more to life than sleeping and eating.. Good Luck! Me- suffer with panic and depression for 20 years. Sure you can have a love life just get your self better first and as far as not being interested in sex that may change after you get better and stay better. Give it time. Good Luck!! |
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