Friend in severe depression and I can't help anymore...how to break away?

You're in a tough spot and you need not feel badly about setting a limit. It's really hard when you're a helping professional to know when to back off for your own sake as well as for theirs. I would agree with bmac in terms of setting some conditions for a continued relationship and I'd suggest explaining your rationale as both the need to not enable the person to avoid getting the intensive treatment they need as well as your own need to take a break. It isn't as though you'd be abandoning him, but rather encouraging him to seek the level of care he needs and then continuing to be there to support his seeking help.
I have a very close friend who was once in a very abusive relationship and I had to do something very similar-I refused to allow her to come and visit me with him in tow, but made it clear she was welcome to come and stay with me-I even bought her the ticket-if she was willing to leave him and end the self-destructive behavior. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but also the wisest as she realized I could no longer support self-destructive behavior and she got the help she needed and left him.
I would also suggest that you tell him clearly and directly that in order for the two of you to continue a relationship as friends, that you need to have other things you can share besides his depression as that is what makes a friendship so valuable to both people.
Good Luck! Source(s): 20 years as a psychotherapist

Do it gradually. Start by setting limits, like only one phone call a day for 30 mins. and then reduce it little by little. Encourage your friend to go to counseling and develop other friendships.
Sounds as if he needs a professional helper! Ask him to consider getting help from someone who is more able to understand his needs!
I bet he is. People who are depressed don't realize how it affects others around them. And if they are in a really bad depression, they can just suck the life out of others, too.
He needs professional help. If he refuses, then you have to tell him, "I cannot be your therapist/counselor. You need someone who is trained to help you with this. When you get into counseling and start working on your problems, then you can call me. You are hurting me by not getting the help you need."
The end. Don't argue with him. Just state it gently, but firmly. As long as you continue to do what you have been doing with him, he will never get help. A lot of this is looking for attention--and you're giving it to him. You have to let him help himself now.
FDA researcher
Dee has some good advice. Actually, these people are also controllers that get some secondary gratification by keeping you on the phone so you can't do anything else. When they start repeating, it is time to end the conversation. Good luck. S.