i'm on my second leave of absence in the past year....I've worked maybe 3 months in the past year. The disablity payments from work will only last so long and I'm not sure if I can go back to work at all after that....everytime I think about it...I get sick (nausea, vomiting, pounding heart, and crying). I know that my employers think that I'm lying which of course makes it worse and I think actually led me wind up going on sick leave the second time. I'm frustrated because I am used to taking care of myself and my kids, but now I feel helpless. All this worrying is not good for me and I know it, but as we all know money makes the world go round and without it we're lost. I feel like I'm turning into a recluse and that's very scary, especially since I have kids...the youngest of which, has no relationship with her father...so of course he's no help at all. I have suffered from anxiety my entire life, but it's gotten progressively worse over the past 10 years.
Please don't give up! Are you on antidepressents? If you are, theyr'e not the right ones for you! I waited till I was in my late forties to even go see a doctor, only then because my days had become so dark, I literally wanted to die rather than live this way. I was so anxious at times, I wanted to drink and just stay in the house with the blinds closed. I had to work, but just the drive had me fighting panic attacks the whole way there. I became so neurotic that I started counting things,.OCD. I lost weight, wanted to sleep all day, couldn't stay asleep at night. I trid meditation, self-help books and tapes, herbal vitamins, shots of Nyquil, u-name-it! I could tell you stories...like getting paranoid at bank & stores, leaving a full grocery cart behind. I had an attack years ago in an intersection in left lane, sooooo..I avoided most ALL left hand turns. I cried, got mad, withdrew, didn't find pleasure in ANYTHING!!!!!.....Then, there came a little med called Paxil. I tried two or three other ones, but they didn't work as well. 6 months later, I have NO panic attacks, my depressed moments are just normal moments. I don't count everything in sight...and I hated math!!!! I rarely cry and haven't thrown a dish across the room in months. You may need a little xanax until the meds "kick in", which takes a couple weeks...But, you'll be so glad you did!!!!!!!!!!ps..u can always e mail me! Hugs to you! oooooooooo oh, And I also considered looking into dissability as the last resort!
Anxiety and Depression are both treatable. There are many medications that can help you. Go see a doctor and quit looking for a hand out.
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