What's the limit on carbs, calories, and sugar for diabetes?

My dad has type 2 diabetes. He's had it for a few years but after spending some time in the hospital recently for nearly slipping into a diabetic coma, he finally has decided to take it seriously (thank GOD).

I've been trying for years to help him out by making sugar-free treats, since he's quite the sweet tooth, but I'm realizing I need to learn more. When I look at the nutrition labels, I don't know what's healthy and what's not. What's considered an "okay" amount of calories and carbs? I know the lower the better, but how low is that? It seems impossible to avoid them altogether.

Specifically this is bothering me right now because he's got a birthday coming up and I'm throwing him a surprise party, and I would love to make him some chocolate cupcakes. I think he should be able to enjoy his favorite food on his birthday, just not at the cost of his health. What amount of calories, carbs, and sugar is safe for him to eat in a dessert?

Thanks in advance for the help.

I don't know if this makes a difference, but he's 46, he doesn't exercise but he walks a LOT during the day at work. He's had his blood sugar around 100 for the past couple weeks.

I have prediabetes and I was told to limit it to 45 grams carbohydrate per meal. Not sure if this is the same for someone diabetic.

I wanted specifically to add that using fake sugar is not always ok. A lot of people can only have a little of the fake sugar stuff before it makes them sick. I only use it in coffee and my diabetic dad only uses it on his cereal in the a.m. and in his pop (Fresca doesn't have any sugar). Otherwise, my mom makes him regular desserts and just watches the serving size.

It's carbohydrates that are the primary concern of diabetics, not so much total calories or the amount of sugar. Counting calories is for people who are trying to lose weight, which could easily be one of your father's goals, but right now it's probably secondary to controlling his blood glucose. Likewise, cutting sugary treats doesn't do any good if it's replaced by additional starchy food like rice or potatoes.

You can check with your father for his specific carbohydrate targets, but as a general rule he should be able to eat one of your chocolate cupcakes as long as he eliminates an equal amount of carbohydrates from his other food. Just make sure not to urge him to eat more than one. It's too easy to give into temptation and eat two, or three, or ... more. Then his entire diet is out the window.