Does having an eating disorder effect your parenting ability?

my friend has anorexia but i'm concerned that this may have an adverse effect on her 18 month old son shes very secretive about things but i've read a few medical articles that say that some mothers with eating disorders also limit the amount of food they feed there children resulting in malnutrition etc shes currently refusing to let the boys father have any contact with the child because since suffering severe post natal depression she will not allow anyone at all to look after him i'm concerned that the stress of this is not helping her illness but i'm concerned of the effect this may be having n her son and i dont know what to do

obviously i'm giving my friend as much support as i can i'm wary of contacting social services as i'm worried they may put the child in care and this would just make her problems worse the father is a very very good dad any ideas on how i could convince her to let him have the child even for a couple hrs just to give her some time to lok after herself?

I don't think you should worry about how your friend feeds her baby, though it has been reports of some moms who have limited the amount of food they feed their children with, but this is not common. Usually, anorectics have great knowledge in food and nutritions, and they also sometimes feel better when they see other eat.

What I'm more concerned about is if your friend has the energy to take care of a 18 month old son alone. She's most likely feeling weak and tired due to the lack of nutritions, depression and mood swings may also occur. If the anorexia takes too much of her time, it will give her less time with her child. The child may also have an increased chance of getting an eating disorder, if his mom continues eating in an unhealthy way as a role model when he grows up. Scientists also believe that there are some genetic factors that plays a role, but that's not much she can do about. The post natal depression she has is most likely being worsened by her anorexia. As a friend, you can try to be supportive, and let her know that she can talk to you about everything. You could also try to make her join social activities, though there is a possibility that she's feeling too exhausted to join these as she's suffering from all this.

She should seek treatment for both anorexia and post natal depression. Depending on her health condition, she may be able to continue living at home with her child/children. It may however be hard to make her realize she needs help.

It's hard to say how you can convince her to letting the father take care of the child for a couple of hours from time to time, as I don't know her. Could it be possible that the father could meet the child when the mom is there watching them as a start? If not, some have good effects on therapy, where both parents can talk about what and why their relationship to each other is not as it should be. The father has his right to see his own son, and I'm sure it would be better to find a way to allow him to do so, especially if he's a good father, or this case might end up in court.

I hope she gets better, and good luck to all of you:)

Most anorexics compensate for starving themselves by feeding their children what they themselves want to but won't eat rather then starving them too. children pick up on a lot more then we think so there is a high chance that he will mirror your friends actions in the future. But for now carry on supporting your friend and if you see any major differences in her son or become increasingly worried then you need to talk to someone who can help both her and her son. Good luck and I hope your friend gets better soon.

What right or excuse has any parent got to be able to not allow the other parent the right not to see their own child.This child needs his father,now more then ever. Ok this woman has problems but she has not only got them on her own plate but she is also putting them on her child's plate. This child is her son, and not the possesion of anyone.

She should definetly see her doctor, even if you have to force her.
Or you can sit her down like a friend talk to her about all your concerns, maybe she hasnt seen it from your point of view yet and needs someone to help her (YOU!)

yes go get advise from someone close to you or her you don't have to mention a name you just want to help the 18mnth old son he don't need to be ill treated too good luck and god bless

I'd try to keep as close an eye on her as possible...then if that's not working or you're not satisfied you have a good view of things....call social services.

Your friend should have a health visitor who will be keeping an eye on her son.

call social Services.

Dealing with social services I think, should only occur if the child becomes neglected in some way. They upturn the whole family unit and would probably cause more problems than is really necessary. Your friend probably needs medical help and definite counselling. It's clear that there are underlying issues that she needs to face. The child will probably not suffer nutritionally as anorexics tend to overfeed those around them. It's a form of control over food. As he gets older he'll pick up on her eating habits and start to question her motives.

No no, not at all!

Most people who suffer from anorexia know that they have a problem and will be wary of not passing it on.

My sister isn't anorexic, but she is very thin and i think she doesn't eat very much. She has a young boy of about 21 month and he is the opposite - he is pretty fat! Its almost like she gives him what she doesn't want to eat.

I mean, it might influence the behaviour of the child as they grow up - they might think skinny is normal and that so is eating very little... but people with normal, healthy families become anorexic all the time.

I don't think you should worry about the baby - i'm sure he isn't in any danger. You friend needs all the help she can get though.