Over my eating disorder- sort of?

I had a very bad eating disorder from my sophomore to senior years in high school. It was an endless cycle of restricting my diet, to not eating at all, to binge eating and purging, eating a little bit and exercising it all off, and so on. The thing is- I was never overweight, in fact I was thin to begin with. I was probably around 5'6 and I am now 5'7 but I went from a natural 115 to 97 pounds.
I slowly began to somehow eat better and exercise in a healthy way and being at college, I feel so nervous that my friends are watching my every move that my disorder has been under wraps. I have gained weight and I now am at a healthy 118 but I can't seem to shake the disorder off.

My mind still tells me I am fat and that I don't need to eat, but I am eating. I am done with the starving myself and purging after eating even a little bit.... but the ideas won't leave me head.

I've never told anyone, no one. I can't seem to think of anything anymore except my past disorder. I want help.

You say you've never told anyone...the first step to get over it is admit to people there is (or was) a problem. Open up to your parents or a close friend. Then the best way to deal with it is counseling of some sort, some people prefer a peer to talk with who has been there, other people prefer someone "trained" either way, best of luck to you, and congratulations to you for overcoming it and getting back to a healthy weight.

You could go to gym classes or martial arts to burn lots of calories or when you eat try as best as you can to eat only a little but not like a pinch but like normal and the way how you eat when you were thin.

It's not easy, and I applaud your decision to try to stop. Of course, anorexia and bulimia are like any other habit: they are extremely hard to get rid of/forget about. If you can't talk to your friends (who will make GREAT support systems and will feel good to talk to), then talk to a counselor or someone who only wants to help. This is very hard to get rid of on your own, and I wouldn't advise trying to do it on your own as you may relapse. So my advice in a nutshell: talk to someone, and get some help. :) good luck!

tell your parents, a friend, a grandparent, cousin, aunt or uncle or someone at your church and get help. things like this don't just get better... it is a disease and needs treatment.

ur not fat. u r normal and u just gotta eat healthy

You are doing better than you used to be, so keep up the good work! Think of all the things you love about yourself and all the compliments you have gotten. Sounds like you need to talk to someone about your problem, pick a really good friend that wont judge you. If you still cant shake those thoughts, try seeing a therapist. Its not crazy, and will probably help.

sweetie I know exactly what you are going through.
that's the problem I'm having too.
just try and re-enforce the good thoughts, and not the negative ones.
I would look into therapists, they can help you realize why this is happening.
we can get through this!
good luck : )

See a therepist.
No, I'm not trying to be mean. But they really do help. My friend has told me.

Don't worry about it. A lot of people feel exactly the same way unless they're Lance Armstrong or Arnold Shwarseneiger. Most people won't let others catch on, but they feel fat too!

Stop and go to an adult immediately and seek help in any way. Your not going to get much help from Yahoo! Answers.

stop just stop

I know what you mean - I was slightly bulimic for awhile, and sometimes the bathroom just calls to me.

I think you should either join an eating disorder support group, or talk to a specialist.

You've done the hardest part - admitting to yourself that you have a disorder (and even better that you know you're not overweight), and that you want to be healthy.

eat luch meats they will increase your health i think they help me all the time

u are soooo not fat. im 5'7 and i wish i could have ur weight numbers. trust me just eat normally!! and excersis a couple times a week. NOT to lose weight just to stay healthy.
if u really want help, talk to some1 who can help u with this, a doctor, therapist, etc.
i suffered from a eating disorder. except it was purging. dont let it get you down.