The problems in my marriage are fueling my eating disorder and I just can't get over it...?

I've been struggling with bulimia for about a year now, my marriage problems lead me to it. For the past month 1/2 things have been going a bit better between us. I just can't seem to let go of all the things he did in the past, I have so many sad memories and I can't stop but wonder if now he can just hide things from me better than before, his profiles on all the websites, and his friends, his chatting etc. We barely spend time together, his world revolves around his car and 2 motorcycles, spending money on pieces for them and so on. First thing he does when he gets home is turn the computer on and check his messages. I get frustrated, our sex life is almost gone, he went for 7 months without touching me, no matter how much I was showing him that I couldn't wait anymore. I had to practically rape the man to get smth. from him. I am just tired of this, i am only 20 and he is 35.I clean for him,I cook really good food,I do everything a good wife should do.what is wrong in this picture?

I've been trying to go to a marriage counselor with him, but some of our problems are very delicate and with him being in the military, he could get into a lot of trouble. He says he would not mind going to a civilian counselor, but he complains he never has the time for it. I need to open up to a professional, I want things to work like they used to when we first met. He changed a lot, he's not like he used to be. And him advertising himself as a single gay man on several websites for gay people does not help me at all. :( It's painful and I can't stand being criticized and blamed for it any more. he used to say it's my fault, but I am trying to do as much as I can possibly do. I would never talk to his boss about these problems either, it would really mess up his career up.

What's wrong with the picture is that you are not stepping up and taking responsiblity for your own actions, but instead are using your marriage as a scapegoat to allow you to continue destructive behaviors. THAT is what is wrong. I understand that you are young, but YOU alone are responsible for the choices you make. Either you make them, or they make you, but either way, it's a choice. What you decide is up to you. Stop looking to your husband to fulfill you. You must find happiness within yourself. It comes from an internal source, not an external source. Pull yourself up by your own boot straps, get yourself a life, take pride in yourself, and take control of who you are......do all that, and I promise you will see a change in your husband. Best of luck to you!

unfortunately, it sounds like it will never change. he is not worth it with your eating disorder. if he does not seek counseling or talk to you, give him an ultimatum. If he is hiding stuff he will always hide it and sounds like he trying to what he can do better. Your young and could do so much better!!!! good luck.

Something is seriously wrong with this picture. You either need to start going to counseling and get help for your eating disorder if you want your marriage to work or break up which I guarantee probably after awhile your eating disorder will go away. It could be caused from stress too.

it sounds like he is just using you because what 35yr old wouldnt be having sex im sorry but it sounds like you need to get out you have to take care of yourself you are to young to be having this kind of trouble in a marriage your not his slave your his wife take care of your health please

need counseling or time to yourself

if you need some action i would be happy to bone you.

First you need to get help for your eating disorder not only are you going to damage your body up but your marriage will suffer even more. All you are doing to your body is stretching out your stomach badly and then throwing it up which messes up your esophagus and your teeth and then everything you put in your mouth is going to make you gain weight because your body needs fuel in order to work properly if it isn't getting any fuel then your body is going to shut down and you will get like a bag of bones and will look like an old lady. Please get help for your eating disorder and then work on your marriage.

1. Just because fuel is there does not mean you have to fill up on it!
2. Take responsibility for your emotions and actions and realize you are the only one with power over you
3. If you can not or do not want to (more likely) to get over it, stop punishing yourself by sticking around
4. You can not make someone treat you how you want to be treated but you can make yourself treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated.
5. What is wrong with this picture you ask: YOU
6. You have an expectation of a life that he does not share; his perspective on how things should be is different than yours; and you are not being faithful to yourself because you've put the value of his loving you above your loving yourself.

You sound like a nice woman...so I'd ask you to go to therapy or counseling. Really.

Life is too short to be miserable. And we cannot make other people change ....or accept us, either.

Sounds to me like you love him...but he doesn't love you. Sorry. You will have to face the facts and realize that you are wasting valuable time in a man who doesn't cherish you.
The sooner you realize you have a lot to offer and that you are worth your weight in gold, the better.

Go and seek professional help. I'm not kidding.
You need to become stronger and to work on your issues.

Letting go is never easy; but sometimes it's the best thing we can do. Toxic relationships or one-sided ones are never healthy.

Sounds to me like you are a codependant; and that is something you cannot ignore anymore.

You are the one who needs help if you think that he will change, because he won't. And if you have tried to bend over backwards to make him happy -yet he still disrespects you and shows no signs of wanting to improve on this marriage- what else do you need? A sign from God?

God doesn't want us to be miserable. He loves us and wants us to be happy.

Good luck. You deserve to be happy and to have a man who loves you and respects you by your side.

Him.
If the problems are so bad it's making you mentally ill (as in the bulimia) then you should get out of that relationship. Seriously. It's no good for you. He's no good for you.

EDIT: I have read your other questions, and your blog. It makes me feel really sad that you are caught in a relationship like this. You deserve to be happy!! Please consider leaving this man - there is someone out there who will treat you and love you so much better!