Is this normal for an eating disorder? Are there other people out there feeling the same?

I dont really know if I have an eating disorder, doctors think I do but im pretty confused right now so if it makes sense to say im not sure.. im not sure lol so im not in denial really i think im past that... maybe.

But im 5'1 and i weigh 36kg ( 79lbs ) and im 14. Ive been on a food plan in the last two weeks and have gone up by half a kg.

The thing is its made me really upset to increase my weight even though i know its what people want me to do. But in my mind its not right, people shouldnt want to increase their weight they should want to decrease it. Does anyone else feel the same?

So anyway it makes me want to not eat again because it makes me panic. I dont know how to get over this way of thinking if its wrong?

Or do i actually need to lose this weight?

Because sometimes doctors are wrong and its true that different people have different body shapes isnt it?
Arghh does anyone have any advice?
How am i supposed to put on weight without feeling bad/guilty/upset?

you really need to put on weight, yes of course you're going to feel guilty putting weight on because your disorder is making you want to lose it but you need to overcome this. You are slowly killing yourself and the more weight you lose the closer to death you are so try to turn the guilt around and start feeling proud when you have put that half a kg on as you are slowly getting better and taking another step away from becoming very ill. good luck, i hope you can find the strength to get through this x

I think you need to talk to someone and let them know how you feeling....maybe not over yahoo answers either

just realize that the doctors are out to help you i dont think they would tell you to gain weight if it werent in your best interest. They would tell you to loose weight if it was damaging to oyour helth, and in your case it sounds like you need to add weight to make you more healthy. everyone is always critical of what they look like, i would trust them, they are out to help you. its true diff people have diff body shapes and the take that into concideration to how much you should gain/loose. dont feel guilty on making yourself more healthy, you are still so young to get yourself caught up in your weight.

Well definetly you should put a little weight on. You shouldnt do it because other people want you to though, you should be doing it for your own health. Look on the net to find what you should eat. You have to take the initiative to look it up yourself to show that you think you can do it.

Really you do need a little weight on.
I dont think its an eating disorder, I would say you have some other mental disorder, but dont be asshamed. Ive got a few too.

I was anorexic/bulimic for four and a half years ( starting when I was 14). What you're going through is totally normal. You have to know that your brain isn't functioning properly right now, and you're going to have to trust the people caring for you and those who love you. No doctor would ever want someone to gain unless it was medically necessary. Right now, you're going to have to operate on faith and trust. It's SO hard, I know. I fought tooth and nail, but what got me through was my husband ( then boyfriend) being there for me and loving me through it. He encouraged me through the rough patches. I'm not saying go out and get a boyfriend, you don't need any more complications right now, but you should lean on those close to you.
You don't want to gain. That's the disease rearing its ugly head. As long as you're eating healthy meals and are being supervised, you're going to be fine.
You're going to feel bad/guilty/upset, but it will start to fade over time as you begin feeling stronger and better. Trust me, right now, just let go of the control and put it in your doctor's/parents' hands and have faith that they know what they're doing. Your parents love you and only want you to live a long, healthy, happy life, they don't want you to be fat and miserable. Trust the people who love you, they won't steer you wrong.
Hugs and good luck!