What's it like to have an eating disorder?

horrible....
i cry everytime i look in the mirror.
i am afraid of becoming fat but i nonstop nbinge and kkep gaining weight. anorexia and binge dont work well

but i developed binge cuz i thought i would'nt gain weight from chewing food and spitting it out...i was wrong and i am going crazy

i complain about myself nonstop so no1 wants to hang out with me..i go home every day and chew food and spit out and cry from boredom

people say nasty things behind your back nonstop.. either u r 2 thin, 2 fat, or my least favorite, insane
u become proud of urself for finally purging after months of attempt
..ur hair falls out and ur metabolism slows and every1 around u has 2 yell at u everyday
it hurts, but not as bad as being fat does

....u get jealous of all the perfect people around u, they say u arent fat, but its plain obvious they just want u 2 shut up
i can giveu much more email me if u r interested. until i lose weight. my family hates me 2 death i suppose

horrible. I get so sick of people talking about me behind my back. i`m either too skinny to them or i`m fat. i constantly hear people say, "she used to be such a pretty girl, now look at her. she is sick looking." i get so sick of hearing people sya and reading things when people say, "oh i don`t like people with eating disorders. it`s their fault they are so stupid they could stop this if they wanted to." if it were that simple, DON`T YOU THINK WE WOULDN`T HAVE A EATING DISORDER?!?!?! nobody wants to be around me anymore. i have lost all my friends and my family says they are falling apart because of my eating disorder. everytime i look at myself in the mirror i want to cry or think things to myself like, "why do you have to eat? be strong and don`t eat. it will get better." my heart hurts all the time and i have a slow heart rate. at any given time i could have an heart attack. i`m scared to go to bed because i worry i won`t wake up. i`ve fainted before after getting out of the shower and now i`m scared to take a shower. i read the nutrition facts label on things religously. i watch other people eat the things i used to love, knowing that i can`t let myself eat any. what food i do eat i am fro some reason greedy and so when people ask me if they can have a bite i get defensive of it and hog it all to myself. i`m scared to eat and drink anything because most likely i`ve looked it up on the web and found out some reason why it may be bad for me. need i go on??

It is hell. I am 47 years old and I've had an eating disorder most of my life.
I don't have a good sense of my body. I never have. I am 5'6" and through high school and college I weighed 105 lbs. Too skinny. But all I could see was the cellulite on my thighs and the fatness of them. I was overfat, even though I didn't weigh much.
Then I got married, learned to cook, had a stressful job, and learned to turn toward food as I never had before. In high school, I was borderline anorexic. Then I started to binge. Work a night shift? Stay up late? Food helped me through it. Lose a patient? Food was there. Have a fight with the hubby? Eating chocolate helped so much. Sad because marriage was hard work, and there was never enough money to do anything (DH was out of work), yep, food was there. A comfort, a help. As things progressed, I turned more and more to food to get through things. I was disgusted with myself, and started purging with exercise and laxatives. That got to be too much work, so I quit purging but didn't stop binging. I numbed myself with food. I didn't care about my family, my kids, just what could I eat and when.
Finally, I found that I couldn't live that way and I got help.
I've been in recovery for over 10 years, and I still struggle with my eating disorder. I'm fat because of all the abuse I've heaped on my poor body. I try to eat sensibly and exercise, and it's a struggle some times, when the food that is everywhere calls me.
Hope my story helps someone.

I don't know because I don't puke up my meals. Maybe somebody from Hollywood will answer where puking up at least 2 of your 3 meals a day is encouraged for a thin figure.