How to recover from the psychical elements of eating disorders?

Hi, I am 5"4 and 8 stone 1 (113 pounds). This makes me a BMI of 19.4. I used to have anorexia and later struggled with bulimia. This went on for 7 years. I haven't "behaved" like someone with an eating disorder for around 3 years but still have problems with my thought patterns and self-image.
About 2 years ago, severe stress and panic disorder caused me to lose an awful lot of weight. I was the same height I am now and only 6 stone 12 (96 pounds). I went on anti-depressants and practised CBT to try and help myself. I gradually put on the weight. I coped well with the weight gain up until I was about 7 stone 10 (108 pounds) but as I got heavier than that I've found it increasingly uncomfortable. When I look in the mirror all I can see is the fat but I know rationally at my weight I can't be as big as I perceive myself to be. I find it difficult to eat sometimes because I'm so scared of gaining weight but I don't want to end up ill again. How can I get past this?

thankyou for your advice hyubin but I'm really looking for a way to accept my weight gain rather than prevent it as I live a very active lifestyle and eat very healthily. I am gaining weight naturally because I have been underweight for so long. I know I'm very slim and want to learn to see that.

You still do have issues. Just believe us when we say that you are STILL underweight, a bit. At 5'4", you should be between 115 and 120. You are almost healthy, keep it up:)

you should just exercise if your afraid that you might become fat. you should do this by doing more hobbies that require some sort of physical movement. You should eat healthy foods especially when you're trying to get over the remains of your illnesses. If you want to control your eating but still be able to eat, try eating in front of a mirror. It has been proven that when you eat in front of a mirror, it helps put you in control.

Therapy would help until the clouds part and you can see clear sky. Fear is ruling you and fear is irrational and does not have a platform of truth. It rules until you replace the lie with truth. The truth is that you no longer have this illness, you have overcome it and the aftermath will vanish when you step forward in strength and chase the fear away. You don't have a remnant that can build again you have fear that needs to be chased away. Know that you are strong. That you have achieved much and not just made headway but completely and utterly stopped this in its tracks. It will not overtake you. You have established your freedom so begin to put down new roots. When the thoughts come they hold no truth, they have no substance they are simply something that should be mocked by you. I know the difficulties of what you have faced. Experience with a friend's two daughters being in severe states and watching and helping them come out the other end healthy, logical and wiser for the experience is a testimony that there is total freedom from this disorder.

Honestly, the only way to get past these feelings you're having is to hammer them out with a therapist. I've been through it, and going it alone was probably the worst thing for me; I found it far too easy to fall back into old habits, BECAUSE those feelings of fatness and the fear of weight gain were always gnawing at me. I really do recommend therapy for this kind of thing, and the therapist will have lots of great pointers at how to quiet the demons.