Compulsive Eating Disorder: I wrote this letter for my prospective psychiatrist. (long).?

I am nearly 20lbs heavier than I was one year ago. I can鈥檛 really remember when the binge eating began exactly, but it was around last spring. It鈥檚 progressively getting worse, and I want to stop it before serious issues occur.

It鈥檚 hard for me to concentrate on ANYTHING except for food. Even when I鈥檓 doing things that I once loved, I think about food. Some examples would be: when I鈥檓 at cheerleading practice, I think about what I鈥檓 going to eat for dinner. When I鈥檓 in my classes, I think about food the entire time. I think about all the foods I want, the foods I can鈥檛 have, and then how miserable I am with or without the food. When I am with my boyfriend, I think about how I can鈥檛 wait until I can leave, so that I can stuff my face in privacy. When I鈥檓 at family get-togethers, I dread going because I worry too much about the unhealthy food and desserts that will be there. I don鈥檛 even want to go to lunch with my friends, because I鈥檓 afraid of tempting myself to binge. When I鈥檓 in front of people, I don鈥檛 binge eat; however, once they leave 鈥?I put whatever I can in my mouth. When I鈥檓 in my dorm room with my roommate, I鈥檒l simply do my homework and whatnot Once she goes to the bathroom, or to class, I鈥檒l scavenge for food in the room that I can eat. I鈥檒l go grocery shopping on the weekends, for healthy snacks to bring to food (granola bars, 100-calorie packs, yogurt鈥TC), yet, when I鈥檓 left alone, I鈥檒l get the urge to eat as much as I possibly can. When I binge eat, I eat until I am uncomfortable. Monday-Friday, while at college, I think about all the foods I鈥檓 going to hoard when I get home, and it scares me. I鈥檒l tell myself 鈥渘ot this weekend, Bridgette,鈥?but once I get home, I immediately give in.

I go to the gym 4 days a week, and run at least a mile each time. I feel that going to the gym is only delaying the process of me gaining more weight.

I鈥檝e tried so many things to control my problem. I鈥檝e tried listening to audio tapes to help me relax and keep my mind off of things. I鈥檝e made flashcards with positive messages on them, trying to encourage myself to make better choices. Before eating, I鈥檝e tried to stop myself by asking why I really am eating this. I鈥檝e tried eating small, but more meals per day 鈥?but I somehow screw it up.

I used to be happy with my body, and now, I avoid looking in the mirror. I used to dress up every day, and now, all I feel like wearing is sweatpants.

I鈥檝e made up so many excuses for my weight gain; I want to be able to pinpoint the cause for my compulsive eating issue, and figure out a way to correct it. I want to enjoy life outside of the refrigerator.

You've made an excellent decision to get into therapy. This letter will be very valuable to your future therapist.

Best of luck to you in treatment,
~Dr. B.~

p.s. Consider adding to your letter a list of specific goals you would like to accomplish in therapy. Ask yourself the following question: If somehow, magically, my problems disappeared in the middle of the night, how would I know something had changed the next morning? What would be different? The answer to that question should help you zero in on your treatment goals.

You mostly think about food instead of actually eating it. Your issue seems to be compulsive stealing, even though it's just food, if it belongs to someone else, leave it alone. Eat only the food you buy for yourself and your compulsive eating disorder will lessen. If you continue your behaviour, you'll start helping yourself to things besides food.