My cry for help! i have a eating disorder and i want it to stop!?

i am 5'0 and 81 pounds (not telling my age) now i have a eating disorder and this is all how it started...


i cut out lunch from my day to lose weight. i occassionaly eat a bit so classmates and friends wont think i have a problem. but when i do eat its usually a lil bit of yogurt, fruit, or celery. then i wanted to miss school one day so i threw up 4 times. i always want to do it again but try to control myself. today i made myself throw up :(. i cut back on junk food. if a friend offers some chips of someething i say no. we got free ice cream at school but gave it away. now whenever someone offers i pass it up but sometimes i dont.

i went vegetarian in hope of weight loss and it worked! in my house we have rice a lot and now i am cutting back. at the middle of the night( about 11 or 11:30) i was hungry but didnt care. i was hungry in school so i drank lots of water so i wouldnt have to eat.

im scared to gain weight nor do i want to! i see a fat me :( i miss being happy and being able to be free to eat what i want when and feel good about myself. i wont tell anyone about it and thats that! dont bother telling me to because i will ignore you answer. i just want you to give me soem tips to help me. i miss my life and i want to be able to feel good about myself.

thank you <3

well you should eat when you're hungry and don't ignore it. you should eat at least 5 to 6 times a day, not big meals but like a half a sandwich and a yogurt. if you feel uncomfortable with yourself, work out and eat some veggies. eat until your satisfied and work out, go for a jog, a walk, at least half an hour workout a day and see if that can help. don't give into temptation of throwing up, i try to distract myself by working out and listening to my iPod, keep yourself busy! I'm not saying that im skinny, but i am trying to be healthy. i wish you good luck on your voyage on being healthy.

I am so sorry you are having this problem. And I hate to say this to you, but they are clinics for treatment, and you really need to go to one. I sincerly believe this would help you, have your life back the way you want it. I will keep you in my prayers.

Telling people- I always considered embarrassing. I never wanted to. Until my anxiety got too intense, that I had to. You have to if you want help. That's all there is to it.

From a personal standpoint, I'm not sure how well an internet resource could help you. Eating disorders are a true psychological issue, and unfortunately, are very difficult to overcome without the help of outside sources such as a counselor/psychiatrist and/or medication.
I have severe anxiety, and I myself just took the stand to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. It's the right thing to do. You can be properly evaluated and treated in a very medical, professional manner. There's nothing held against you at these places, it's true help.

It's not that you are heavier than you should be, or that it's just a matter of weight, it's truely all having to do with how your brain has warped around a certain perception that is entirely false. One cannot overcome their own thoughts of what is rational and what isn't on their own.
It's like telling yourself, "Hitting my head against a cement wall isn't harmful to myself." when other people around you tell you it is.
Which is basically just the same (On a different scale) as telling yourself that you're overweight and cannot eat much when everybody else is telling you that you aren't.

So what it all comes down to is, see somebody who has the power to help. Maybe get medical treatment.

well first of all Im 12, 4'11 and weight about 30 pounds more than you.

First of all, ask 10 people in a day if they think you are fat. if a majority say no, then you are obviously not fat, because you actually are thin it sounds like.

Second of all, you should try eating more and more every day. ease back into normalcy.

3rd, go shopping. yes, i know it sound wierd, but g shopping. pretend like you havn't been shopping in a while and forgot your size. ask a sales person to try out some sizes with you. if you are a 00 or a 0 or a 1, you are definitly too thin.

if want to be healthy, thats great!

heres a meal plan:

breakfast- 1 egg, 1 cup of fruit, 1 glass of skim milk

lunch-salad with dressing, 1 side, and 16 oz. of water. or you can have a tomato and lettuce on croissant sandwich.

dinner-whatever your parents make.

You should definitely seek the advice of a Registered Dietitian, as they are truly the ones who know what they are talking about and can absolutely help you. Any answer you get from a non-professional is just not good enough--they did not go to grad school to really learn about what they're saying. I myself have a bachelor's in nutrition but do not have my RD licensure, and I know that even with a nutrition background, I don't know enough to be able to safely tell you what you should do.

That being said, here are some general tips:
1. Remind yourself constantly that you are beautiful at whatever weight you are. It sounds hokey, but really, eating disorders are more mental and emotional than anything else, so you really need to re-teach yourself about your value as a person (you're MORE than your looks), and the fact that skinny doesn't always mean beauty (many cultures actually prefer curvy or even women who are considered overweight).

2. Don't cut back on any more foods. In the beginning, eat what you're comfortable with, but DO EAT. Try to get at least 1,200 calories in... if this seems like way too much for right now, get at least 800 and work yourself up little by little. Anything below 800 is extremely dangerous and over time can lead to serious problems--you can even have a heart attack.

3. Read up on materials from organizations that help people with eating disorders... I have a couple of websites below that I thought were pretty good.

I hope I've been helpful, and that no one tells you wrong on this site. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you take anything said by a non-professional with a grain of salt. I strongly recommend that you see a Registered Dietitian for this--they will be the one to help you get better.