Binge eating disorder ?

I have had a life as f**ked up as it gets.. Now I'm 18 and It's still shitty but anyways.. I live with my mom and she is the only one I have in this world but she is selfish, extremely depressed, hates me and blames me for all of the troubles in her life.. and she is never there .. I have no friends because I cant connect and deal with their dumb Californian asses and I ignore guys because 1 the are shallow and 2. they only want me for my looks..

My weight is normal but every time I'm emotionally fucked I eat eat eat until I'm sick, It has become almost like a punishment method for myself for being miserable.. It's like I'm trying to prove to myself that I have no control.. I've had mind games played with me through out my life and now .. I'm the one that continues to play the game..

I sometimes think I'm just going to end it.. it's like it's only a matter of time..

anyone have any advice for what to do when this eating impulse happens?

i have an eating disorder and everyday is a struggle... try what I'm now trying.. always try to be stronger than ur self.. always imagine what r u going to feel after u do this thing.. whenever u want to eat go scream, brake glass bottles, cry, dance, play with baby's(that's works for me) be strong honey and remember we all have problems thats life... goodluck