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| *Women health>>>Eating Disorders |
Very ashamed..Finally told my husband about eating disorder. Have any of you gone through this? |
I have been giving advice to people on here who are battling with weight issues/eating disorders but haven't been able to practice what I preach, so to speak. I am overweight, but I don't think that's the real problem. I have a daily battle with food. I look at food and see something evil, tempting me to eat it. I do not over eat more than once a week, and have a hard time keeping my daily caloric intake above 1400. Even that number makes me feel like I might as well be eating a million. I'm making an effort to keep my intake at that though, because I know it's unhealthy if I don't. From the age of 14 on and off until I was 20, I would starve myself or if I did eat, force myself to vomit. It stopped for a while when I met my husband, mainly because I was terrified he'd find out and think I was crazy. Last year when my husband left for training, I started eating as little as possible and vomiting when I did eat more than I think I should have because the horrible thoughts and feelings won out. contin... I was anorexic for a while.. and that eventually became bulimia--when I couldn't starve myself any longer but still felt the guilt after eating. Honestly, the main reason I quit was because of three things. 1) I started dating my now hubby 2) I started smoking cigarettes 3) i smoked pot. Now, I know it sounds like I substituted an addiction for an addiction. How and why these things helped: 1)He always told me how beautiful I was.. and the one time he confronted me about it (after purging) he acted very dissappointed..etc 2)Whenever I'd purge it was because I lost control while eating and ate way too much and I had to purge almost immediately after eating. Since I wanted to smoke a cigarette, I was less likely to over eat. And, I didn't want to purge if 10-15 minutes had already past. 3)This was the only time, while I had my eating disorder, I was able to eat with out guilt. Now, I'm not saying that you should do these things. I'm just saying that is how I dealt with it. I've been free of an eating disorder for 4 years now... But I still smoke cigarettes. Wish I could offer you some better advice.. Maybe you can substitue your eating disorder with a more healthy addiction. I have not gone through this personally but I would suggest you consider some form of therapy as your eating issues are obviously tied into your emotions and attitudes about food, as well as how you view yourself. I hope your husband is supportive and things work out for you! Just eating right wont help you at all, the only way to get your current weight off is cardio exercise, your heart needs to pump blood through your body, your body needs to consume the fat for energy. 1.5 hours of heart raising cardio a day. If you cant get your heart rate up for 1.5 hours and stay there for 1.5 hours it may take you 2-3 hours to keep it up for 1.5 hours. You ready to lose weight? Go for it, if not keep trying to diet... weight loss isnt a pick and choose kind of deal. Weight loss is diet and exercise. no, i have not gone though that. don't worry. you will be fine! :) My friend, do yourself a favor and forgive yourself for being human. You are not a bad person. You do have a serious issue when it comes to food, and you may need professional help to deal with it, but that doesn't mean you're weak or worthless. It sounds like you have an actual phobia with food, like some people have a phobia with fire or electricity. See, like fire and electricity, food is something we need and is very beneficial, but it can cause problems if you're not careful. So the important thing to remember is that food is not evil. You also need to bear in mind that you NEED food in order to survive. The trick is to remember that YOU are the boss of your own life and YOU decide how you feel about food and how you deal with eating. You can also benefit from the decisions you make about food. For example, did you know that most dieticians recommend eating six snacks or small meals a day instead of eating three square meals a day to lose weight? Think about that for a minute and imagine yourself having something small to eat six times a day, knowing that you're getting what your body needs and encouraging your body to shed extra pounds at the same time. See how it works? Food IS good for you and it CAN help you lose weight and be in the best physical shape you have ever been in. Now YOU have to believe that. If you can convince yourself, GREAT!!! If not, get help. No shame if you need help because you've been battling this demon for a long time, but if you can't do it by yourself PLEASE get help. After all, you're worth it, aren't you? |
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