Does this sound like the start of an eating disorder?

Please don't tell me I need to get help. I am having a hard time keeping myself together. I feel useless to guys. My parents hate me. I can't cheer anymore. I'm a wreck. My little cousin also called me "tiny fat". I feel like I am losing it. I've thrown up once already and I am on the scale all the time. I pinch my fat and I can't stand what I see in the mirror. I'm getting fatter by the second. I am starting to eat less but then I had tacos and pizza today, I felt like dying. So tommorow my fat @$$ is not going to eat at all. I promise. I want to be skinny, I want everyone to notice my thinness. I want to be 40 lbs. less by the start of the new school year. I want to fit in amazing clothes. I want guys to think I'm hott. What's wrong with me..

It sounds like you're obsessing about your body. It's easy to criticize yourself when your feeling down, but realize that the problems you've told us that are stressing you out AREN'T about your weight.

I'm not going to preach to you, but I want you to know what you'd be getting into with an eating disorder. I have been recovering from anorexia for the last 3 years, and I still can't see an end to it. It caused me to lose all of my friends. I could never go out to eat with anyone. I'd always call and cancel plans because I would always be so tired, or I'd have a headache, or it would cut into my workout schedule, or all of the above. I always had to come up with lies to try and hide what I wasn't eating.

On top of destroying all of my relationships, it made me feel awful all of the time. Imagine the ache you get when you have your period or the touch of the flu and that is how I felt all of the time. I would shiver all of the time because I was so cold. It'd be a 90 degree day and I'd be wearing a winter coat to stay warm. I developed fine little hairs all over. I would take three steaming hot showers/baths a day to try and warm up.

Then there was the other fun stuff like dealing with my hair falling out. My eyes became really sunken in and my skin got really dried out. People thought I was 10 years older than I really am. Other people have made comments that they thought I looked strung out on drugs, what with my appearance and shivering and all. And guys may have thought I was hot, but they didn't want to know me, they just wanted to get me alone and use me for sex. Every guy I knew went running off as soon as they figured out I had a problem.

Then there is what it does to your mind. I started losing my ability to remember things and concentrate. I'd watch a tv show, walk into the next room, and then not be able to remember what I had just been watching. I had to drop out of college and was in danger of losing my job. I started sleep walking well, sleep eating. I actually got one of my roommates pizzas and put it in the oven while asleep. I woke up to the smoke alarm going off. After that, I felt I had to tie all of my cupboards and refrigerator shut before I went to bed. (crazy!)

I know this was long, but I feel it's important for you to know. This all started with one diet for me. I thought that if I just lost some weight, my life would get better and people would like me. I wanted to let you know that it doesn't work that way. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could go back and do things differently. It's cost me all my friends and family, and countless of thousands of dollars on top of that. It isn't anything you want. Trust me.

if you don't want to hear "get help" i dont know if there is anything else to say. i am not saying that to be smart, it is true. an eating disorder will take over your life if you let it, and it is easiest to stop now.

a good first step?
throw out fashion mags and dont buy more
You need to stop for a moment and think, what would I rather do - be healthy and be happy with myself or be very unhealthy and lose close relationships with friends and family. You need to realize you are not perfect, no one is. You need to eat for your body. Respect yourself.

That is an eating disorder and you do need help.
It also may have something to do with depression.
I'd suggest that you eat, but if you'd prefer, maybe eating some healthy foods, such as salad and things like that.

Not eating food for long periods of time isn't too healthy for you.

Also, losing a lot of weight in a short amount of time may also be harmful for you.
Eat! Not eatting is worse then eating two pizzas! Just eat an apple, and if your still hungry, eat another. Just make sure you eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
i DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOU ON SOME OPRA SHOW! EAT WOMAN, EAT!
well luckily, it sounds like all you have to do is alter your eating habits. dont stop eating, just stop eating sh!t... buy lean cuisines, lean pockets, ect. and you can eat pizza still.. same great taste.. but only 300 calories. it will also help you lose weight faster if you atleast hop on the tredmill for 20 minutes a day.
ya its sounds like me a year couple years ago i couldnt help but eat everything, it sux i know. how can you help youself? well what i did was start eating good food like from whole foods and trader joes n stuff. like now i look okay. average lookin. and its okay ONCE IN A WHILE to eat a slurpie or a peice of chocolate or something but do it in porportion also. maybe once a week. only good foods though natural stuff no fake!!