My wife is sick with fibromyalgia,constantly complains about it on harps on me.i am tired of it,what can i do?

i seem to be her vent(who she takes her frustration out on)...but i have been told by her to basically put up with her because she is sick...i am a "gopher" for her, i constantly bust my butt with things around the house and dont seem to be appreciated and feel like i am being taken advantage of and am treated like a baby (did you wash your hands, etccc) i am 48 years old and not a baby...i also feel like even though i work very hard that she comes in the house and picks out the things that were not done vs the things that were done....i am very frustrated and am afraid when she walks into a room that she will yell that something i done wrong (light left on, etc)...i am constantly asked what took you so long to get back from the store, who you talking to on the phone, where you been...how the heck do i handle this...i am about ready to explode

Isn't there cure for this? How longare you going to put up with this. God I couldn't. You are not a slave!

find her a support group. Look at your local hospital. Maybe you two need counseling. Try telling her that you can't ease her pain and that you feel so frustrated when she complains all the time about something you have no power over. Tell her you feel manipulated and that you are afraid that you are enabling her to get worse and to not do for herself. Tell her that you are not a child or a nurse-maid. Tell her you love her but you can't take the stress she places on you.

Try talking to her about it. They always say you take things out on the ones you love. That's because others wouldn't put up with it. If talking doesn't work I would just quit doing things for her until she can learn to appreciate you. If she is complaining about all the things you don't do maybe she isn't realizing all the things you do do. More than likely she is just frustrated with her situation and she doesn't know how to deal with it. So she takes it out on you. Good luck!

He who is self-enslaved will kiss the chains that bind him! (this saying is patented)
Since your head is already facing downward , see if you can find your spine somewhere down there and when and if you do. put it back in place and do something about your pathetic existence, fibromyalgia or not. She is not the only person suffering from a little pain so don't let that be the blackmailing thorn in your side and set her straight!!!

Someone needs to tell her in a nice way that she needs to shut the "f" up! She won't get better unless you either tell her yourself that you're tired of her s_hit or get someone to! I'm not sure what fibromyalgia, but I believe you when you say she's sick, but she has to learn to not be angry at you because she's sick.

If she is ill, perhaps she is worried. The usual treatment for bad fibroids is a hysterectomy, which is not that huge a surgery. Is she receiving treatment, or has she been using this as an excuse? Is her behavior recent, or of long standing?

In this house, we both do what we can, and that includes helping each other. But I would not care to be abused over a long term.

your wife is suffering from Bioatch symdrome and it blaming it on fibromyalgia.
i have fibormyalgia and have never treated my husband like that. i found that yoga really helps with the pain and having a high protein diet. no carbs. for some reason carbs make a flare up last longer. the way your wife is treating you has nothing to do with fibromyalgia. she's just mean.
put her in a yoga class and exercise with her.

find a support group. FM is a very real illness and most people don't understand. You have to be supportive. What if she had lost an arm or a leg? What about cancer? Just because you can't see it doesn't make it real.

She and you need councilling to help with the stresses of the illness.

Good luck to you both.

Explode !! She taking advantage of her condition to control you !!And that is not right !!! I went out with a woman for 3 years . She had Fibromyalgia . the only time I knew it, was when she had to remind me because the pain made her tired or irritable . I would just hold her and encourage her . Your wife on the other hand ,has made this condition her life ... and her excuse for being a miserable bi***.

She is in pain and frustrated as well. However, it doesnt give her the excuse to treat you like sh**. You need to have a serious talk with her. If shes not getting any treatment for her pain, she needs to see a doctor. There has to be understanding from both sides. Hope things get better.

Explosions are not good!!!! talk to her before you explote, you might end up saying things you do not mean and regret afterwards, talk to her and tell her everything you just told us, do not keep anything inside, let it out It's going to make u very unhappy and misserable! Talk talk talk! Good luck! =)

Misery loves company. I just read a study where they think Fibromyalgia may be linked to a protein deficiency. Try getting her protein shakes and supplements. Also, try to cut down on the carbs for her. Fix the problem, not the symptoms.

Assuming she is really sick and not a hypochondriac-

go to

www.wellspouse.org

to hook up with other spousal caregivers

if you are not willing to help her in her time of need-divorce her-you don't deserve a wife

It is time to sit her down and to have a little talk with her to tell her that you know that she is sick but she can't treat you like this.

don't ask, demand that the two of you seek professional counseling immediately. you two will end up in divorce or living together hating each other if you don't. Good Luck

I think you need to have a long talk with her in a nice way.And let her know whats bothering you . If you keep this to yourself
It will just get worse.

you should talk to her and let her know That your with her no matter what .Threw thick and thin .but you will not be treated like this.Just because she sick does not mean you can't be happy or hide your feelings.

Check out this site: http://www.fibrocenter.com/ it has lots of great information about what your wife is going through and has a support group for you.

This isn't about proving that you love her. Being sick is not an excuse to treat you like crap. Tell her that.

Essence of Emu

Gosh, am I married to you? I suffer from F-M with a bout of Shingles. Being ill, is he lonliest thing on the planet. No one knows the amount of suffering a person goes through until they go through it themselves. I know sometimes my husband gets tired of hearing it but he went through some seious health issues last year and as bad as I felt, I got him through it.
He now realizes that people need people to get them through major life altering times. I hope you stay healthy forever, but you have to be more tolerant of your wife's plight. By the way, there are some reasonably good meds for F-M, anti-depressants. I do not take them now but they have worked in the past. Also, swimming is the best form of excercise. Why not sign her up at the "Y" of swim club, she will feel so much better and quickly.
Please calm down for both your sakes.

well I feel your pain!! I have a best buddy that just found out she also has this and her WHOLE personally changed like I mean overnight!! Shes bossy, constantly points out my mistakes at work and is getting vindictive!! I just want to run away and cry! Where did my buddy go?? As far as advice I don't know what to tell you, I'm not married to my best friend, but it still hurts just the same!! I mean you want to feel bad for them but DANG at the same time I need someone to cry too also!! If you are located in a bigger city maybe you can find a support group to join? Or look one up on the internet!! Good luck and Ill be praying for you!! =)

Hot showers and massage help.

Get some space and do some things you enjoy alone so that you feel better emotionally and have something to give.

Go have massages together. You will feel pampered, cared for, and less tense, and she will get some relief.
Massage therapists are great people to vent to, as we are used to dealing with people in pain or under huge amounts of stress.

Don't beat yourself up about your frustration, or let anyone make you feel guilty. It is a lot harder than people realize to deal with someone who is in constant pain.

I have seen adverts for a medication for fibromyalgia (not an antidepressant), but don't know anyone that has tried it.

You shouldn't have to put up with that. You should talk to her and tell her how you feel, and see if it changes. If not, just take out your frustration by cheating on her behind her back.

She may need different meds. See a shrink together, third parties often work.

Higher a nurse to do this instead of you.

For better or for worst, in sickness and in health! Time to prove you love her

divorce, or sleeping pills in the cereal.

shes crazzzyyyyy
i wouldnt NEVER treat someone like that !

For sickness and in health............did you forget that part?

We make our own beds........sorry dude.