How can I accept having genital herpes?

About a month ago, I found out that my ex gave me genital herpes. At the time I found out, I had begun dating a new guy and he was perfect for me. We are perfectly compatible and just alike. But when I told him about my diagnosis (I couldn't put it off because we had already slept together before I knew; he's negative), he decided that we had to go back to being just friends. He even told me that he had seen a future for us and the herpes was the only reason he changed his mind. Now I'm crushed. I'm afraid to meet new people because I'm sure this is going to happen every time. I feel unloveable and unattractive. I feel like no matter how beautiful or sexy a man thinks I am it will all change once he finds out. I even checked out a bunch of those herpes dating sites in case I ever get despepate enough for internet dating and none of them had men in my area. I don't have anyone to talk to about this as no one understands. There are no support groups out here. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm gonna be alone forever. I am only 23 and I'm terrified that after my kids grow up and move out I'm gonna become the crazy cat lady.

To Mike Stevens and anyone thinking about leaving an answer like him, I was not sleeping around with more than one person. My ex who I contracted this from was the first guy I was with after I got divorced. He cheated on Me. He took the condom off without letting me know until he came. I never cheat and am not promiscuous. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have herpes. This could happen to anyone.

Too start things off sue your ex-boyfriend ifhe had sex with you without warning that he is contaigious with herpes.

I do feel sorry for you as most, if notall people won't want to take the chance at catching the diesease. Usig condoms and other protections stop herpes most of the time.

Also maybe there is a guy out there with herpes as weel who is right for you.

Your life isn't ruined yet, but i really do feel extremely sorry for you. I am sure your not alone, and it won't make you a crazy cat lady... Anyway whats wrong with cats??

ok for one, That Mike Stevens needs to wake the f*** up. DONT listen to him. He is a jerk and he will get his. For two, you NEED to tell whoever you end up with. Do not hide it with pills, because if you want to build a relationship with anyone, they need to know. You need to be honest. You will feel SO MUCH better. I have a bf who is amazing. I don't know why he accepts my situation, but he loves me FOR ME. I got it from an ex too. And let me tell you, there are guys out there who aren't heartless and will love you for who you are. Just love and respect yourself. Please get in touch with me anytime you want. THere are people out there for support.

You might find someone, you might not, Ive had hsv-2 for 1 year now, Im 23 now, and I've totally given up on dating because of exaclty what you fear. Anyways, I can honestly, and very confidentally tell you that there is a cure for herpes, if you live in california, I can help you in getting that cure, otherwise look for it deep and hard, google is your best friend, you will find it, but whether you will believe it or not is another question. There is mroe than 1 cure out there for it, and its not an overnight treatment, it will take time, dedicationa, will and belief, follow my advice and you will have a normal life to live. Otherwise listen to everybody otu there that doesnt know any better and will tell you there is no cure, Im simply trying to open your eyes and give you faith. Like I said, its not easy to believe in something that is so supressed by society, they dont hand out cures, you have to be intelligent enough to figure it out on your own.

i thought u can treat it yoiu should be able too. but trust me someone will come along and accept you and love you if it true love it will not matter for them

Just accept it like the people on the genital herpes Valtrex commercial.

"I have genital herpes.!" millions of people in America have it so your not alone.

I felt the same when I got herpes, but I have told several men and all of them have accepted it no problem. None of them ran, or behaved like the guy you were recently seeing.

Hate to tell you the truth, but that guy who decided to just be friends is a complete and total ****. If he actually liked you for you and saw a future with you, he would have stayed. If he cared at all about you, he would have seen that you were in a very vulnerable position and what he was going to do to you would hurt you a lot. Anyone who actually cared would have stood by you and told you he loved you anyway and it didn't matter. What a total prick!

I have been lucky in that all the men I have told, whether friends, men who really loved me, or short term relationships, haven't been fazed by it at all. You may well meet the odd man who behaves like he does, but take this as a sign that he is not a man you want to be with - herpes can be a great weedkiller. Most men will be fine with it.

You know that one in four American women from all demographics, and 57% of black American women, have herpes, right? You are not alone at all.

The greatest secret of not being rejected is in the telling. You need to learn the facts about herpes, how easily or not it is spread, how common it is, and be able to present that to a man in a matter of fact way at the right time. If you act like it is the end of the world - which you may when you feel so bad about it - it will scare the hell out of any man you tell. If you act ok about it, explain it is like cold sores on the mouth and that symptoms are no different, that will make a huge difference. The main problem with herpes is that the one and only thing most people know about it is the stigma. Very few know what it actually is, how infectious it is or what it can look like. Giving a bit of education helps enormously.

Best luck, I know you'll be ok x

you are not unlovable or unattractive. Herpes is a treatable disease with a tablet called valtrex. a vast amount of us have it. it is nothing as it will not kill you - or your partner - it is just an inconvienance at times. you meet a person and get to know them before you sleep with them, if that person does not learn/understand the illness then that person is not for you. How can you have a future with someone if they will not accept you for who you are. you can't. don't do herpes dating sites. meet a patrner as you normally would have if you did not have herpes. the 60's gave it to a lot of us.

heya,
i dont mean to be rude but what does sumeone expect when they sleep with more than one person, obviously the more people you sleep around with the more chances of you getting a disease. all i can say is theres NOBODY to blame but yourself, and nobody to help you, its there for life and you should "feel unloveable and unattractive" its just life i guess. turn to religion cause god is the only one thats going to love you, REPENT. your just posting to feel better about yourself, if i were you invest in some cats or a dog haha

The stigmatism attatched to herpes is often worse than the condition! Its understandable that your new man was put off but this is not AIDS we are talking about here. The herpes virus is the same one that causes coldsores and it is possible to spread from the mouth to the genitals.
It is perfectly safe to continue a normal sex life as long as you are protected during an outbreak using condoms (not that you will want any nookie then *ouchy*!)
You will find that the outbreaks will become less frequent and markedly less severe each time and after a few years you will almost forget you even had it. That said, it is important to tell your future partner - its only fair and important to treat them with the respect and honesty that you should have received.
Please don't worry, you really really will be ok, trust me it will get better!

WOW I cant believe their are actually herpes dating sites. That is soo weird. But anyways, I was also infected by an ex so I know how you feel. He gave me oral sex when he had a fever blister and thats how I got it. If you dont want to tell your future partners about it then there is medication you can take on a daily basis so that you cant spread it. It causes the virus to become inactive so that you dont get outbreaks or spread it.

I'm sorry, but you'll be fine and I promise that you won't be the weird cat-lady! There are plenty of married people that have it and they live a normal life.

Any man who doesn't like you for who YOU are, isn't worth your time. It's harsh, but I think you will find someone so much better then him? If he really saw your future together, and it meant so much to him, then he should have stayed with you regardless of your problem. Just relax and know that you will FIND a good man, if I was deeply in love with a girl Genital Herpes wouldn't concern me. Love is something that you cling onto no matter what...