How do you help a friend who has genital herpes?

The mental effect that herpes has on people is a much bigger problem than the physical and it is rarely talked about by the medical profession.
There are many things that got me to the mental state that I have today and helped me overcome the depression (feeling like a leper, social outcast, tainted, etc.) and they have also helped many others with H.

1st, have your friend join support/social groups, she/he may feel that she/he doesn't need support, but it helps tremendously!!! She/he could go to meetings or there are tons of online support resources, chat rooms and message forums (the 1st link below has a list of support groups by state, I am an active member of 5 of them)... I love the h-only events that my groups have and I also host h-only parties about every 2 months. It is a great way to meet others with H and get support, plus everyone is so welcoming and understanding.

2nd, join online date sites for people with herpes. It might sound lame to her/him, but after she/he starts chatting with ppl that will not look down on her/him because of H she/he will understand how much it helps (My dad convinced me to join)... Personally, I only dated H-only and have now found that wonderful herpes man that I was looking for. I met him off of mphw (the 1st link will also give her a list of H-datesites) Only dating H men did NOT hinder my date life either and it made it much easier for me.

3rd and most important, she/he needs to understand that SHE/HE is not herpes, she/he only HAS herpes and is still the same person they were before their diagnosis! If someone turns her/him away because of H, it is their loss and she/he is better off without someone that shallow in their life.

H is a minor skin affliction. Its just a rash. Its no big deal, but it has such a horrible social stigma that it causes things such as depression.... Just be there for them, educate yourself about H, so you will understand it and be able to support your friend. There is life after H and your friend will learn that soon enough. Plus, it will be easier for them with a concerned friend to help them through it.

Hope that helps! Good luck to both of you! If either of you need anything else or anymore info, please feel free to email me: vickimogi@yahoo.com
Vicki

(PS if you would like my "top 10 ways to tell a non-h potential partner" shoot me an email and I'll send it to you. I gathered my favorites, from others experiences and my own, on having "the talk" with people. It might help your friend when put in that situation.)

Genital herpes can be caused by either of two types of herpes simplex virus. Most cases are caused by herpes simplex virus type 2, or HSV 2. This type can also infect the person's mouth if he or she has oral sex with an infected partner. Some cases of genital herpes are caused by HSV 1, which usually causes cold sores on the lips. The viruses infect nerve cells and remain in the body permanently after infection. When a person is first infected, blisters form on the genitals in what is called the primary episode. The blisters can then recur at any time in the future. The primary episode is usually more severe than the recurrences. Recurrences last about 10 days.

Safer sex practices can reduce, but not eliminate, the spread of genital herpes. Male or female condoms do not offer complete protection since blisters can occur on skin surfaces not covered by the condom. Acyclovir (i.e., Zovirax), famciclovir (i.e., Famvir) and valacyclovir (i.e., Valtrex) may be used to prevent recurrences of the infection once a person has it. Genital herpes is a contagious disease. The exact risk of transmission from a single exposure is unknown. The virus is harbored within nerve tissue even when there are no blisters and may be transmitted to others.

Acyclovir (i.e., Zovirax), famciclovir (i.e., Famvir) and valacyclovir (i.e., Valtrex) are the most commonly used medicines for genital herpes. They reduce the amount of time that viral particles are shed. They also help the blisters to heal faster. These medications can also be taken on a regular basis to reduce recurrences. A person with genital lesions may use warm compresses or sit in warm water several times a day for comfort. A drying agent such as povidone-iodine solution (i.e., Betadine) may be recommended to soothe the discomfort of lesions. Medications for pain or fever may be needed, particularly during the first outbreak. Medications may reduce recurrences but will not stop active blisters and shedding of viral particles. There is no cure for genital herpes. Lifelong treatment may be needed if symptoms are severe or bothersome.

The hardest part about living with genital herpes is the emotional distress that one goes through. The physical symptoms are no big deal, it's not a life threatening virus.

The emotional side of it can be quite traumatic though,which ultimately stems from the stigma associated with the virus within the general community. The stigma only exists because of a lack of education about the virus. That said, treat her/him with the utmost respect, don't judge your friend, help her/him through the hard times, make your friend realise that he/she is exactly the same person that they were prior to contracting the virus.

I contracted genital herpes type 1 a couple of years ago and went through a depression as a result of it. It is a difficult thing to deal with. In hindsight I wish I had sought professional help at the time to deal with it ... so you may wish to suggest that also. There are plenty of support groups available though. Do a search on google or Yahoo for one in your area.

Harmony

There are many support groups most likely where you live. Find these places and inform your friend. There are also many message boards and forums to share stories and receive information. Herpes is a very treatable and manageable virus, though it does cause a lot of anxiety in people This anxiety does get better over time. The more information he has the faster he will start to cope and manage. Good Luck!

Erm, be there for them if they have just caught it, and let them no it is not a big deal? It can be hard finding out, but in the end genital herpes is nothing - it is not harmful or anything and is not the end of the world, it is just a bit of a nuisance. It is just the same as cold sores - oral herpes - just in a different place.

Yes, a little more info might be helpful.

first of all treat them like u did before u found out that they had herpes. having herpes shouldn't change their personality. basically don't treat them like a leper. be there for them and offer some support. also do some research on herpes and maybe leave some for them to look over. its not the end of the world for them since they can't die from it, but dating might be a little difficult for them.

perhaps a little more info would help answer your vague question. Dont be afraid of the keyboard, its your friend.