Helping obese mother with high blood pressure?

My mom is obese, but it seems that there is nothing I or my family can do to stop her from gaining weight. In the past 6 months or so she's gained at least another 10lbs in addition to what she weighed before. Her blood pressure is through the roof and she stopped taking her blood pressure meds because she says she doesnt like her doctor. She eats terribly, has McDonalds, hotdogs, etc whenever she feels like it and gets mad whenever anyone says anything. What can we do to help her, she's at a very serious risk of having a heart attack, and she always has hypertension and flies off the handle and causes herself a lot of stress and we cant calm her down. What can we do to help?

This is a very tricky situation.

For now, I'd take the focus off weight (though it's certainly a concern) and shift it---FAST!---to the BP meds she's been prescribed, but is not taking.

I am not sure how not liking her doctor translates, in her mind, to being unwilling to take responsibility for her health---her BP meds are needed so that she does not have a stroke.

But, the situation is what it is. She doesn't like her doctor, and is acting out inappropriately. I would focus on finding a doctor who is empathetic to obese patients (do a Google search for "fat-friendly doctors"). Having a trusted doctor hugely improves medication compliance.

Right now, the most important thing is getting her back on antihypertensive medication.

Then, and only then, you can focus on the weight. Or, rather, SHE can focus on it. You and your family need to remove yourselves from this equation. Once her BP is under control, she can take steps toward improving her overall well-being.

Ultimately, this is something she'll have to do for herself. But you can help by offering to prepare some of the family meals, inviting her to go on a walk, etc.

Be supportive. Love her the way she is, and let her know you want her around for a long, long time.

You do know that hypertension is not just a disease of the obese, correct? That even at a normal weight, she may find that she still requires blood pressure medication? Don't make this too much about the weight--make it about keeping her healthy.

If it makes her happy then leave her alone and let her eat what she wants to eat. She's a big girl and can make grown-up decisions.
Gastric Bypass

or just let her be. if she wants to kill herself there's nothing you can do.

I hate to sound harsh, but some people just don't care, and she seems like one of the ones that would rather die, then try.
She must want to help herself. It sounds like there are bigger issues here. Perhaps she needs attention, wants to die, or has some serious depression. This behavior sounds self destructive. She needs counselling. I don't think the problem is just a physical one.
You obviously care about your mother, and I know what you are going through to an extent. My mom also is obese and has hypertension. She's also had a massive heart attack, 2 strokes and is diabetic (all due to weight).

You can't change her, she has to want to get better and it sounds like she's suffering from something else as well, possibly depression or some sort of emotional problem. This kind of behavior can be a slow form of suicide.

I suggest contacting her doctor, by phone or possibly mailing him a letter explaining your mother's behavior and telling him your concerns. He may be able to line up the help she needs, but she's going to have to cooperate in her care. Try talking to your mom and avoid the weight issue, tell her what she means to you and why you want to keep her around. If you can't talk to her try a letter.

Good luck.
You mother don't feel any one loves her what you need to do is have her see a counselor or a health care provider and insisted she takes her medications for high blood pressure.
You are NOT supposed to be helping your mother lose weight or take her blood pressure medication. She is an adult. This is 100% her decision-there is nothing you can or should do about it!!! It's hard to face, but it is true that we can't change other people-not through begging, yelling, pleading, setting an example, trying to control-nothing will work. But what focusing on her problems and trying to help her will do is ruin your life. There is a word for this behavior of trying to change or help other people who don't want to change themselves-it's called co-dependence. It's not a good way to live your life. You have to let go of your mother's problems-because that's what they are-HER PROBLEMS, NOT YOURS!

Please, focus on your own life, your studies, your hobbies, your friends, your dreams for the future. It's good that you love your mother, but let go of this idea that you can help her.

All the best,
Someone who cares