How do you deal with depression related to infertility?

I was doing okay for awhile, even though it seems like everyone I know is either pregnant or just had a baby (or both!) Then recently, another batch of friends/family have announced that they are pregnant too. Most of whom know that we are ttc and have been for awhile. My sister in law, who just had a baby, and knows that we have been trying, just called us the other night to tell us she's pregnant again, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I cried and cried. And I have been crying a lot since then. I don't want to seem like a jerk and act sad when people tell me they're pregnant, but I can't hide the hurt and dissapointment anymore. Has anyone else been through depression from infertility and have any advice?

I know just how you fell. Just 2 weeks ago all in one day the girl that works with me told me she was pregnant again when she has a 4 year old that don't even live with her, and my 19 year old sister told me she was pregnant and she cant even take care of her self.. since December 3 girls with my company have had baby's my best friend is due 3 days after my due date was ( had my second miscarriage in November) and the girl that works with me just told me she is getting an abortion cause its not her boyfriends. The day I found out that the girl I work with me and my sister were pregnant I had a total melt down I cried for like 2 hours. Its relay hard and all but some how my husband always knows how to make it better. Yall just relay need to be there for each other. And the support of my family does help. I know you said your sister in-law just had one and is pregnant again, when I had my first miscarriage my sister had just had my niece. Having her for the past 3 years has relay help me and my husband we spoil the hell out her.

Yeah. My best friend had a son almost five years ago. We both battled infertility for a long time then all the sudden ... she ended up pregnant. It seems like everyone around you is pregnant, or can easily get pregnant. Those that have problems, they take Clomid and get pregnant the first round. I agree, it's hard not to be depressed when someone announces their pregnant especially when that's the one thing you want the most. Good luck to you!

hi there i no how u feel,me and my husband have been trying for 5 yrs with no sign, at one time all we done was argue as i we wanted a child so much, everywhere i look theres new babies or heavy pregnant women, or everyone i see is asking when u having any kids, its hard to explain that we have been trying for so long, just sit there and wonder when its gonna be our turn.

I am in the exact same position and have the exact same question and I am npw to the point of giving up. I wish i had advise to give you to help you but I cant and I know how you feel..... BEst of luck

I'm so sorry to hear that !!! just be patient you will have your little bundle of joy too!!!! =)

I tried for 9 months with my first pregnancy which is relatively quick but it took us 3 years to get pregnant again but that quickly ended in a miscarriage. We spent a small fortune going doing artificial inseminations (8 cycles) and various medications. We finally became pregnant again after more than 3 years.

There is a wonderful resource under www.resolve.org which deals with couples battling infertility. You may also want to see a counselor either through your insurance or church, and a support group. It helps a lot to be able to talk to people who understand what you are going through.

Hi

I wish I had some magic words to share with you that would make you feel better. I know it's hard TTC (been there for the last 3 years) and it totally sucks when everyone else is pregnant. Im 41, so I dont really have any one in my age group that I can even relate to!

I went to a party at my brother's house a couple weekends ago, and I think there were more babies then there were adults! It was wild. And they are in their 20s. Im sure they have no idea that my husband and I are TTC (we probably look like grandparents to them) but it was hard. I guess I get through it by counting my blessings (I do have teenager sons, but my husband doesn't have any bio children), I enjoy my work, I try to do fun things. I also keep to myself when Im feeling really badly. I give myself permission to grieve when I get my period. Treat myself around that time too; maybe a pedicure or a massage, or maybe allow myself a day to do 'nothing'.

You are not a jerk for feeling badly. I havent met a single lady TTC that didnt have those kinds of feelings!! But you just gotta smile through it and then when you are alone or with your husband let your guard down and let yourself grieve.

Good luck to you. It's hard.

Oh sweetie ... I know exactly how this feels. I've been trying for 17 cycles, doing 'all the right things', charting BBTs, and checking for CM like I was a CSI agent :) LOL

Well, you might not like my answer, and it's a strange one too, but I have to tell you, my entire life changed last week when we decided that we needed to take a break from TTC. I was crying all the time. DH was being really understanding, but his wife (me!) was turning into a nightmare to live with and now that I can see it objectively, he was having a rough time of it too.

So, when AF arrived last week, we decided to take a break for a month. I didn't want to .... we talked about it and I was very reticent. Why would I 'waste an egg' by taking a cycle off from charting? But you know what? I've been totally balanced, not depressed, not feeling silly symptoms, and best of all, no crying! Will I go back to being depressed when we start again? Who knows. But I think the accumulative stress from 17 cycles of trying had built up inside me. This month's 'TTC vacation' is doing me the world of good and even though I partly wish we were trying this week, I know that this is for my best emotional health. We'll start again next month and who knows, maybe the month with no stress will be the missing ingredient to a happy pregnancy. Best of luck xoxox